************I'm Really Easy To Get Along With Once People Learn To Worship Me. I hate all things non-materalistic, have been called selfish, mean and shallow. Non of which bother me. I like cheesecake, fast cars and the rear ends of most football players. I think I should be elected president so that I can give myself: a raise, a yacth and my own island off the coast of Italy in that order. I'm in love my blond hair more than you are...yeah it's possible. One day I will seduce some insanely rich man and spend all his money on myself and Beyonce. Other than that.....MIND YA BUISNESS. THAT'S ALL....JUST MIND YA BUISNESS. Thank you.
Texas stand up! You are a TRUE Texan if:
*You can properly pronounce Corsicana, Palestine, Decatur, Wichita Falls, San Antonio, Mexia, Waco, and Amarillo.*You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.*You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.*You know cowpies are not made of beef.*A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol. A Chevy 3500 4x4 is.*You actually get these jokes and are "fixin' " to send them to your friends.*You go to the river/lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.*You aren't sure how exactly everyone at the family reunion is related to you. You also aren't sure if you've ever even seen them before in your life.*You answer the phone Say?*You hate all things ARKANSASIAN (LOL)*But 63% of your friends go to school in Arkansas (What up, ya'll?)*You know where TEXARKANA is (TK, what's the business?!!)*You know it's CHALIE, not CHARLIE Boy*You begin & end convos with "Already"*You resent the fact that people assume all we do is ride horses and wear cowboy boots yet you know someone who has one belt buckle bigger than your fist*You will beat the next person's ass that asks you did you vote for Bush*When you hear "syrup" you automatically think of the drink; not the condiment*You call people unrelated to you "kinfolk"
You can finish the lines:*What's the ___ deal/ Man hold___/ Got too much ____ in my ____*Being "throwed" isn't a predicament; its a state of mind*You fucks wit Sonic 8 days a week!*A 102 degree day is normal*At least one of your high school teachers was a coach*You know AT LEAST 15 people at Prairie View*You think the way people from NY talk is "funny" and everyone from a bigger city has an accent*Wearing Timbs is optional, not a way of life*You know Hwy. 59 and I-30 can get you ANYWHERE*You were sad when Paul Wall and Chamillionaire started beefin*"Ma" is reserved for Mothers and Grandmothers ONLY*You know the truth: Mike Jones SUCKS!* Jungle Juice is your shit!*You can't understand why everyone else in the world is so hostile and in such a hurry*Calling your girl your "bitch" WILL get you leaned on*You know the meaning of
bopper
swanger(s)
slab
cakin
and being throwed*Dominoes is just as much apart of the family reunion as the family*You have 6 cousins from California (at least)*You have never said "you all" in your life*You have a porch, not a stoop*You love Cadillacs; its in your blood*You miss the REAL F*ck Actions*You know what it means to "roll a big body" and "'lac a corner"*You don't really see the purpose of EVER leaving the state
*A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.*You measure distance in minutes.*Little Smokies are something you serve only for special occasions.*You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.*Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.*You know everything goes better with Ranch.*You aren't surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, and bait all in the same store.*Finally, You are 100% Texan if you have ever heard this conversation:"You wanna coke?"
"Yeah."
"What kind?"
"Dr. Pepper."
"Already"I joined my space strictly to make friends. So please don't message me asking me if you can take me out to dinner, if we can go out for drinks, or to get at you cause I won't. It's no when you first ask me, no when you ask again and no (as I laugh my ass off at you) when you beg. No you can't have my number nor am I interested in calling you. I'm not here looking for a man, another baby daddy (the one I have is trife enough), a cutty buddy, or another BBFL. Also...I've been on this earth for almost 26 years. I am very well aware of how beautiful I am. Please don't send me a message telling me as much and expect a response. That's lame...step your game up. Also if you are interested in getting to know me...cool I like making new friends...but please don't ask me something that you could very easily answer yourself by simply reading my profile. Be proactive...I won't even go that far out on the limb, hell just read. I'm really not trying to be rude but it's very annoying to have 50 new messages all saying the same thing and asking the same questions..."Hey Ma (1st off...please don't call me Ma)...you're beautiful as hell...can I get at cha? You seem fun...tell me what you like to do." Lame, Lame, Lame! It's 2007...I know you've had time to perfect your game. And because I hate that question with a passion let me go ahead and answer it. I am a fun girl. I love having a good time. Smiling and laughing are two of my favorite things to do. I like to drink, don't really smoke, love getting all dressed up and lighting up the town but truth be told I'd rather sit at home with my guy (when I'm seeing someone) and cater to him. In my spare time I like to read, when I feel inspired I will write, and when I feel lazy veg'ing out in front of the television with a big bowl of Oreo Cookie ice cream is a fav of mine. Speaking of time mine is valuable...I have none to waste with you or on ignorance. If you want to have an intelligent convo..cool but please know what you are talking about before you just spew forth a bunch of shit. I hate being lied to...liars are cowards. Obviously I have a passion for sports if I work at ESPN but I really don't want to discuss the game you saw last night...don't you think I get enough of that at work? Now you've probably read this and thought...Damn this girl is a stuck-up bitch...Truth be told that is so far from who I am. I'm a very sweet, loving person...I'm just sick of all the bull-ish negros always seem to come equipped with. Now in closing I suggest you take notes cause if you message me asking me anything I covered in today's lesson...you get and "F" and your message will be deleted. Thank you.
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