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"The higher we soar, the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly."
-Friedrich Nietszche
This is a very transitional time for me. I guess ultimately that's what life is: a transitional phase. It's so bizarre to look around and realize that we're all growing up. Friends getting married, starting families, the acceptance of the finality in the path you've chosen. Learning to say goodbye to who you were and getting used to being in the skin of the person you're going to become is somewhat difficult. I'm trying not to fixate on all the things are ending. I prefer to see this as the beginning of all that's to come.
I've been out of school for almost a year and can say with great relief it's been a very productive one. I'm in post-production on a film, I've got two more ready to shoot, and several screenplays waiting to get pitched. Things move a lot faster when your producing partner's your way too awesome for words girlfriend. And you live together. And she doesn't mind when you tear apart the apartment to build sets, props, and costumes. We're hoping to turn all this work into a legitimate production company.
I laugh at everything. Seriously. I can't help it. Especially when nobody else thinks it's funny. I even laugh at my own jokes which is probably one of the single worst things you can do. That's assuming I can even get halfway through one before I start cracking up.
Remember Koala Yummies? Little koala shaped crackers filled with chocolate? Man, those were good. What ever happened to them?
It's all about family and friends. I have what may be the world's coolest mother. My two sisters are pretty damn nifty as well. Our big family dinners always turn into drunken disasters. The kind that scare away significant others and make grandma shake her head disapprovingly. And friends... you can never have too many right? I love mine. Even my buddy Patrick who always used to make threats that involved him taking a dump on something I loved. Bad news for my girlfriends I guess. Except that one my senior year of high school who was into sick shit like that.
I love animals but not in a "there are no women around and the sheep won't tell on me" kind of way. I would very much like to open a wild animal refuge someday. But for now I just have two cats. I miss having dogs but the digs aren't really canine friendly. Nor am I home enough to let them out. And let's face it... dog poop doesn't really add to the feng shui of an apartment. The cats are Shelly & Bogie. Shelly was found under a dumpster at four months old with a broken hip. Bogie was rescued from New Orleans after Katrina hit. They're punks but I love them. Even when they swipe at their litter box too violently and a turd flies out and sticks to the wall. Which is always fun to explain when I have company over.
I believe that life gets exponentially harder as you go on so it's important to stay strong and keep looking forward. If you lose sight of your end destination you'll very likely wind up on some detour. It's not about having all the answers because really, who does? But I do think it's about having faith. And I don't mean religion. I mean believing in something. Anything. A reason that gets you up each morning and makes it hard to fall asleep each night.
I think every day you're breathing is a good day. People love to cut one another down. It's the easiest thing in the world to do. I don't buy into that. I let it roll of my back when it's directed at me and I try not to endulge in it myself. Because it's easy to get caught up in other people's drama or even your own. It's harder to realize that ultimately almost none of it matters.
"Courage is fear that has said its prayers"
-Dorothy Bernard
