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LOAIZA

About Me

Born in the south Peruvian republic of Guka Guka Texas City (the center of the world's hot dog industry), the improbable and legendary details of LOAIZA's early years set a dramatic tone for the rest of his archaic, timeless existence.

He was raised by his meager Uncle Vahgeenah, a poor beggar who played Duran Duran songs on the mandolin for food scraps. Vahgeenah and his nephew made their dwelling on the charcoal-mined mountains that overlooked the open-air Grande Theatro of Guka Guka Texas City...a monument now reduced to rubble by the country's improbable civil war dubbed the Guka Weiner Wars of 1987.

His childhood was reared on the nightly glory of live conciertos. Whether it be the Cuban Ironic Traveling Orchestra performing Beethoven's 9th, or his Uncle strumming "Hungry Like the Wolf," the cold dark nights in Guka Guka Texas City surely manifest themselves in his contemporary work. Vahgeenah died of bowel complications when the boy was only 8, leaving him only the aged mandolin to stay alive. In a miraculous stroke of perfection, a 10 year old LOAIZA was whisked away days before the war began by a pack of mutt breed hyena/pumas that surely saved his life in doing so.

The pack, on their annual northern migration, carried him across the Carribean Seas on a boat they made from pelican carcass and sheetwood. To this day, LOAIZA attributes his musical genius to the mixed harmonies of laughter and purring that were crooned nightly by his beastly caretakers. However, the 1 year voyage would have its consequences as a bad case of greeasbutatoma left the young boy both BLIND and DEAF. Coincidentally finding dock in South Beach Miami, a now 11 year old LOAIZA found himself at the doorstep of legendary Techno producer Beefy Fuentes. Fuentes took in the prodigy, noticing LOAIZA's talent when the boy, despite his inaudible condition, performed Corey Hart's debut album accapella at the door. Fuentes placed LOAIZA is his musical training program along with fellow 11 year old students Florsheim Googlies and Humberto Balltegas. For 10 years Beefy Fuentes trained his class in classical composition, resulting in some of the 21st centuries most enigmatic music. Fellow students include Ricky Martin, Sean Paul, and Beaker Dorksley aka "Kevin Federline."

It was obvious however that one student stood miles above the rest, as LOAIZA's natural gift of songwriting was noted to summon rain from the sky and joyfully bring criminals to tears. After Beefy's cocaine-induced death in 1997, LOAIZA was surprisingly willed his full estate - rendering him 200 million dollars, beachside property and an 87 acre recording studio atop the cliffs of Mt. Florida. The compassionate genius allowed his two closest classmates, Googlies and Balltegas, to live with him as bodyguards on his mountain estate. LOIAZA baptized them in the ways of musical perfection, teaching them the secrets he had learned as a lonesome boy on a desolate charcoal hillside. He even christened them with new names, a sign that they-with their fully functional ears and eyes-would help bring about a musical revolution throughout the world.

Googlies became.......The O.T.G......a name embracing his status as....The One True Game. Balltegas on the other hand was given a new name, rich in Puerto Rican mythology and flaming promise,.....he became........Esteban Moaigle'. LOAIZA has chosen this time, 2006, to release his entire library of work. His previous recordings include personal work and collaborations with varying professional and sexual artists. A mythically private figure, LOAIZA remains in solace on Mt. Florida, writing, producing and perfecting his crafts......and he has NEVER allowed the public to capture his image. With the stealthy guard of The O.T.G and Moaigle', nothing at this point in history can prevent LOIAZA's music from being heard, loved, savored......and worshipped around the world. Earth........you have been greased by..........LOAIZA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Interests

Music:

Member Since: 20/02/2006
Band Website: www.21stcenturybeethoven.com
Band Members:
As governor of electrocash music, LOAIZA will help you look and see strange simultaneously." There are many fat babies involved with Loaiza. Mostly as food. Artists vary. All songs produced by......LOAIZA!
French Connection features: John Crease, and needs no introduction. Grammy nominated. Genius upon genius. The work of a master poet. John Crease is currently working full-time managing his solid gold boutique "John Crease Jeans" in the heart of the French Quarter - in France. He also serves as Loaiza's top fashion consultant and European Sales/Sexual Representative.
Tropical Euphoria features: The O.T.G., Esteban Moaigle', and the Fancy Boyz. The original. The breakthrough. The number one hit that inspired droves of fans worldwide. But.........who IS Loaiza?
Jungle Ball features: no known artists. Smithsonian archaeologists are still studying the textures of individual sound bites to shed light on this mysterious tribal rhythm of no known aboriginal influence.
Danceylvania features: Esteban Moaigle' and Javier Jafar Javier (the long time Loaiza promoter from L.A. (Latin Arabia). JJJ or Tre J, has recently teamed up with Loaiza on Mount Florida to create some of the most influential music of our time. Bursting with influences from flamenco to electronic sitar, Javier Jafar Javier promises two things: to never wear a shirt, and to inspire and mediate the creations of the one true..........LOAIZA!
Triple Crown Royal features: The Champion Pimps. Known heavily in the hipster hop subcultural mayonnaise sandwich competition-style scene, they are highly regarded as the leaders in innovative garage igneous rock lo-fi gangsta chamber dance music and have received legendary reviews by VICE President Magazine as well as PITCHFORK Drivers Union 311, Alberta, Canada.
-----------contributions from:
The O.T.G,
Esteban Moaigle',
TOTALBUMZ,
John Crease,
The TwiLions,
Champion Pimpz,
The Fancy Boyz,
WholemilkSound,
Caffeine Crazed Ninjas,
The Hookwrench Crew,
Reverend Brownshoe,
P and C lala,
and other varying artists to be announced.
Influences: Ethereal grace. Rhythmic perfection. The ever changing music of universal love. Gloria Estefan, Menudo.................and LOAIZA himself.
Sounds Like: Heaven in all its glory.....in South Beach.
Record Label: LOAIZA 4EVA
Type of Label: Major

My Blog

JOHN CREASE JEANS

John Crease Jeans are very very fancy. After a brief stint at Hugo Balls, John Crease found his sexual energy gravitating towards a mysterious odor that hypnotized him all the way through a forest unt...
Posted by on Tue, 28 Feb 2006 20:26:00 GMT