I'd like to meet:
Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Scarlett Johannsen, that Swedish girl down there in the Santa hat, but since some wacky document called a "restraining order" says I'm not allowed to contact them, maybe I'd like to meet your lucky little self instead!!
Music:
For the answer, I direct your attention to approximately one inch above this rectangular box.
Movies:
Usually stuff that's delivered to my house in small, non-descript cardboard boxes with no return address, but I also like dramas and some comedies. Shawshank, A Simple Plan, Big Fish, The Departed, Goodwill Hunting, Match Point, 21 Grams, Mystic River, The Prestige, Amores Perros, Y Tu Mama Tambien, Wedding Crashers and Old School are some of my favoritos (that's "favorites" in mexican, culero).
Television:
Laughtracks are insulting, so that rules out sit-coms, but I do like A&E, ESPN, various infomercials, Fox News Channel, and some stuff on MTV. But I especially enjoy the Somali music videos they show on public access.
Books:
Usually stuff that's delivered to my house in small, non-descript cardboard boxes with no return address, but I also like anything by Dinesh D'Souza, Neil Strauss, John Stossel, Mark Bowden, Pat Buchanan, P.J. O'Rourke, Ernest Hemingway. Oh, and A Confederacy of Dunces is the funniest, best-written work of fiction. Ever. Read it, you mongoloid.
Heroes:
Pat Tillman, Ronald Reagan, Carl Buddig. Oh, and Gabriel Garcia Chavez...He's not a Latin American revolutionary or anything, so don't check your history books. He brings me beer when I'm on the beach in Acapulco. I don't ask for it, he just brings it. That's why he's my hero.