57097474

I wrote the parrot sketch for Monty Python's Flying Circus. My friend Pete has the epilepsy. I saw a New Orleans jazz funeral break out into speed dating. I can eat Olestra without getting the business. I wish I had a hay barn to build forts in - my grandpa's, I fear, has skunks.I'm done with my unhealthy lifestyle, too. Now I'm doing a new healthy one.I only beat my dogs a couple X/day. They deserve it, though. Right now they're asleep on the couch...or are they? They might be plotting on me. It's always bite Flossie's lips this and bite marks on Gordon's penis that. They live life to the fullest - or as fully as a couple of animals that spend 98% of their waking hours in a small house or a small yard. I'll probably try to wean myself off of beating them, but I've also quit caffiene, so that's going to take some doing. No, I haven't forgotten Petey and Hank. For Petey's birthday, I'm going to make him a necklace out of the human ears of all the hoboes he's killed on the highway and dragged behind the shed. He deserves credit for all of his kills, and I think that's the only way to do it. Hank's the brains of the operation - getting Vince to come in when the hawks and coyotes are about. No, I think I'll keep on dishing out the discipline the only way I really know how.I wish it weren't my charge To bid you all adieu, But I do have to say goodbye...