I'm just about the craziest muppet alive...I eat poodles for breakfast and crap out pugs at lunch. I can drink a fifth of Jack faster than any motherfucker out there, and I smoke more weed than you and your whole crew...COMBINDEDED! (Thats right, combindeded)I play the drums in the house band for the muppet show and expect for that fat pervert Pig Of a Chef hitting on me all the time it's a good gig. I was dating a big name star a little bit ago, but she fell off the famous Wagon and I had to ditch her. I am a big name star and I have to keep my Shit tight. She started freaking out And said some really bad things about me on E!(I am now secretly plotting a way to kill the bitch with Janice and Kermit. Kermit doesnt really dislike her, he just wants to be part of something clandestine.) I suppose many would say I am an alchoholic, but my true vice is the ganja...To be honest, everyone on the cast smokes their fair share...(except Fozzie, he prefers the gin.)
I am currently under a modeling contract with Raplh Lauren, doing underwear spreads in various mens fashion magazines. I may not be as pretty as some of those other models, but they are all a bunch of self centered pricks, douchebags and mama's boys. I could whoop all their asses with one hand stuck up Mother Theresa's ass!...I guess I managed to find the ugly niche. Just as a side note, I have recently caught wind of some rumors that I party so hard that The crew has to chain me up at night...this is totally untrue. I swear to god, you eat one poodle, piss on the Queen of England, take a shit on Big Ben and vomit on the papparazzi a one Night Bender In London and suddenly you're un-hinged...what the fuck is up with that! I may be a "BAD BOY", But the Brits are just a bunch of sissies who need to pick up their balls and shut the fuck up! SCHTOOPS!~
Take the quiz: "What Kind of Pervert are You?"
The Intelligent Pervert
The Intelligent Pervert: You are The Intelligent Pervert, you use your mind and brain power to focus on the real deal as you may seem lustful in a way, you prefer to hide it until you have known that person better, but throwing a slight hint here and there always helps. You knowledge of books and words to arouse them are very tempting. The mere sounds of your voice could knock their socks off, and they probably wouldn't even know what to say, sweet and gentle, you show that you care, even though you are still a pervert, you got skills.
