aurora lee

we live in the sunlit world of what we believe to be reality. But...there is, unseen by most, an underworld, a place that is just as real, but not as brightly lit...a Darkside.
There's things about me you don't know. Things you wouldn't understand. Things you couldn't understand. Things you shouldn't understand. A loner, a crazy wide eyed loner on a doomed mission to Venus to battle with the 3 headed mega beast but on the way I caught cornflakes disease.
I am a "idea" person, who sees everyone and everything as part of an often bizarre cosmic whole (butterfly effect). I&..39;m Kind.. warm.. I like to help (at least, my own definition of "help") other people, I have no idea - maybe its something DEEP DEEP DEEP - back to my childhood.. . It just makes me happy - to make other people happy.. My way of showing I " care " to those who I truly do care about.. Anyway moving on.. and leaving the corny crap behind. I tend to be a contradiction; an extroverted introvert. Extremely disorganized, but I obsess over details. I am extremely driven and overly lazy . I Don't want to know.. What's going to happen next.. just let it happen - because i enjoy it.. Yeah, i love the feeling.. of not knowing.. but knowing, everything will work out.. ( am i making any sense ? ) . I live for surprises.. Romance... all the " little things " the corny love movies.. that I know will one day become a reality.. I live for Love.. not the stupid .. yeah we've been dating for 3 weeks now ! i think i love u ! - No.. none of that crap.. that feeling, Of not being able to live without him.. the kind, that no matter where you are.. What your doing.. hes on your mind.. the kind where, you know eachother so well/ have such a deep connection.. You could be anywhere.. and if you feel a certain way.. or he does, One look.. and you understand.. You just understand how he feels.. and when your having a bad day..just hearing his voice, Makes everything better.. the kind where hes not just your lover.. hes your " best friend "
I think too much.. About everything.. and nothing. Useless retarted things that make don't even matter.. I wonder what if too much... I think about my past and those who were in it too much.. I'm too curious..I ask way too many questions. I hate when people think they have you all figured out.. You don't.. trust me.. WHen you think you do.. I'll change on you ..
"I accept Chaos, I'm not sure if it accepts me." -- Bob Dylan
I've been through quite alot this past year.. I've thought about alot of things.. things I should have/ could've.. done. - Differently. Regrets. They say " don't dwell on your past.. live life.. and move on " but of course.. As all quotes.. alot easier said.. then done. I'm honest.. But i'm not Blunt, I tend to tell the truth, In a nice manner.. " sugar coated " as they say, But no - that's not what it Is.... The way a person speaks, can be just beautiful.. the style, the words they choose to use.. the way they say it / put it. Its just important to me.. that my friends.. are people who actually, have manners.. Who know how to talk -
( once again, not making sense )
Because I'm so sick of the typical La talk.. " yO baby howwww u doooooin " I absolutely hate ghetto-Ness talk, the typical " eh grl i want to get to know you " please.. for gods sake.. say something slightly a bit more intereresting. And maybe girls will actually once in a while reply ! ~
I'm really not as bitter as i sound.. I promise :]
I've cared for those who don't care for me. I have regrets, I've lived my dreams. I once won his heart, he then who broke mine. I think about every minute of my day, and some of those minutes i waste. I have friends.. yet only a few " true " ones. I have been fake ( we all can't say we haven't ) but to those who mattered I haven't. I love to be around alot of people, and i love being alone. I have taken things for granted. I've hung with the wrong people, then i've hung with the right. i've lied, i've told the truth. I've created.. then i've destroyed. I used to walk hand in hand, but now i walk alone. I've walked away, but then i ran back. I've explored, then I've hidden. I've spoken from my heart, I've spoken from my mind, I see how it is, and I say how they are. I say I don't follow anyone, yet in reality we all follow eachother. I've stolen.. I've given. I've changed and ruin lives. I've helped others, who I know will never help me. I've been all talk, but then i've proven my word. I'm a go - getter. I'm a lagger, I'm driven. I've procrasitnated, I've achieved.. but also failed. I've met people who I never believed would hurt me, but in the end I found the last tear down my cheek. If i've learned from my mistakes.. then why must i keep making them? I've been ignorant, i've been open minded. I've taken advantage, and also been taken advantage of. There's been times i've been right.. and there's been times where im right again =]. I've taken things into consideration, yet failed to consider the important things. I don't prioritize, but i know my priorities. I'm immature, but i've grown up in more ways then others. I think .. i live .. i love.
."there's beauty in the breakdown" FROU FROU
"...and there is nothing that I could do without here loving the state that I'm in between no longer and not yet on the threshold of some brighter thing..." DAVID SYLVIAN
consider my suspicion lets see if my intuition has any volition cause I'm on a mission for the omission, the competition and the definition of my position its bitchin its bitchin its bitchin its bitchin ..............PEACHES
"i like the innocent type deer in the headlight rockin me all night flexin his might doin it right keepin me tight takin a bite out of the peach tonight" .....Peaches
And the further I get from the things that I care about the less I care about how much further I away I get...Robert Smith
"Gonna burn so completely I leave no trace Though so many out there would laugh in my face For wearing emotion so close to the skin Condemn me they might if to love's such a sin...."
I'm just trying to live this life of mine. The more I look the more I'm blind. And all I ask for is peace of mind. But all I want is a piece of you. A piece of you... Well I lost my way today back home from work the snow felt like dust, I felt like dirt. Happens every time I start to search for that long lost piece of you. A piece of you... Well the last time I was sure of anything, I sold my heart, I wore your ring. And now the queen has lost her king. And all I want is a piece of you