I'd like to meet:
TOP O' THE MORNIN'
Sorry if there's any typos, I'm not use to this new straitjacket yet.O.k. here goes... First off, I'm Irish and damn proud of it. I love being Irish. I'm a single father of two, one 17 1/2 the other 14 1/2 (with sole custody since 94--you do the math) and I love my kids (I have cool kids) and my favorite hobby is my PhotoShop.I design web pages, cd covers, flyers, etc... I also sometimes work with
Mary from
MichiganArtists.com taking pictures of local bands and making flyers, if you have a band you should click on the bold links.I did the art work for the band
MINDROUGHT (you should check out their page, oh.. and their music).I just graduated the bricklayers school at the local union in October(still waiting for work DAMN BUSH!).I'm in school at Macomb Community College at the present time, I install residential underground sprinkler systems with my buddy DaveD.F. DePue Lawn Sprinklers.I was a welder for 7 years, a machinist for 5, and was in Desert Storm from 88-91.A Mick of-all-trades.
OTHER SHITE
Crazy Micks half-arsed attempt to talk about himself, because half my arse is still a damn lot of arse My head is jumbled with thoughts, much like the space beneath my stairs, where I throw stuff I think I might need in the future.It's dusty and full of random junk, inhabited by spiders and smelling faintly musty. Thoughts of all the things I want to do, should be doing, could be doing... My life, so many anxieties and concerns, but so much great hope... But here I sit lodged between my favorite rock and hard place, waiting for the other shoe to fall. I always loved the notion of waiting for the other shoe to fall... it's such a simple, brilliant image... There is that anticipation that follows a noise... you want to hear it again to be able to analyze it, to decide whether or not it's a threat, to start the process of working out what to do next... Ever woken in the middle of the night? With that heart pounding, something just happened, what was it? feeling? You know that there is a reason why you are awake, and at the back of your subconcious you know what the reason is...Unfortunately at the front of the mind, you really don't know what it was... so, you find yourself, sitting up, adrenalin pumping and anxious, but lacking any idea of why... I've been waiting for that other shoe to clatter to the floor... But it's been 6 months... and there's yet to be a sound... I guess I'm just a difficult person... I can only imagine that I'm a difficult friend to have... I'm not nasty, or malodorous, at least as far as I know... But I do maintain a certain distance In fact I specialise in the art of the distance.It's a little bit of smart mouth, a touch of disappearance and a smidgeon of not responding to calls / texts. It's trying never to put your foot in your mouth in the company of women, it's watching how much you reveal about your personal life and it's about careful misdirection of conversations, usually through humour. The question is whether this distancing is relationship related, or has it been a life long thing? My mom used to say that I made friends easily, I suspect every mother says / wishes that. But, it's true. I get on well with most people, I guess I have a certain Irish charm. The problem is, I retreat then, I step back and I drift away. I do it to friends, I most definitely do it in relationships. I don't really know why. Sometimes, I just prefer to be by myself, living in my head, having quiet and space. Maybe, because I spend a lot of my day listening to morons and sidestepping egos. But I don't think that's the real reason. I'm happiest in my own head. Odd, but true. So, all my life I've drifted off, leaving in the dead of night, metaphorically, slipping loose from the moorings and setting off across a new horizon. I have made and lost friends, started and never finshed relationships, had more bad first dates than I could count... I'm not much of a talker, I'm more of a deep thinker. But some people are relentless. The small but ferocious band of friends I have amaze me. They just will not let go. They persist beyond all reasonable effort, to the point where I eventually ask myself, "what exactly am I resisting?" That is the mystery,I like these people, damm it, I love some of them, I am amazed at their persistence, curious as to what they see in me that is worth pursuing... Some, prod me, poke me and drive me to do things I like doing. Like going to school. Some, push me, challenge me and try to break me out of my gloomy rut. Some, I've left behind and wish I hadn't. It bothers me, in my secret heart, I wonder if I'm missing something, am I wired wrong? Why, when I have the social skills, do I prefer to hide, to duck and skulk? I mean why in God's name do they persist? All I can say is, Thanks! This is the first time I have ever been laid off and I have nothing specifc to do.It took me a while to get my head around it. I kept making up things that I should really be doing, fighting off urges to get in the car and go somewhere, maybe to the part store and check prices for my car parts, maybe I should go to the library or something. I don't know. I just had this nagging urge that I should be doing something.I didn't.The first thing I did was go to the store, I got stuff for breakfast / lunch / dinner, I watched a little t.v., then watched Boondock Saints.And all the time, I felt like I should be doing something else. In fact I checked my MySpace page numbers of times... I thought there has to be something I should be doing...It was only late the second month that I realized how much difficulty I was having unwinding.This is all too much, or rather, the last few months have been too much. I kind of got lost in the rush, drama, pressure and anger. I've been wound up like some kind of tightly wound metaphor...I still have a million things to do and huge issues to worry about, food, gas, school and kids, but at least now I had a moment or two, to realise that there is an end in sight, that other things matter too, that I live in a nice house, that I can cook (or at least reheat stuff)... Not too bad really. Not everything makes sense the first time you encounter it...One of the great mysteries to me is how I can hear a song the first time and hate it. Yet, eventually I grow to love it and listen to it over and over again.It happens regularly, people make snap decisions and get it wrong.You meet someone and because they look like someone you used to know, someone you disliked... you make a decision, that you won't like this new person...Malcolm Gladwell, has written one great book "The Tipping Point" and one slightly less great book called "Blink". In "Blink" he argues that one of humanities greatest gifts is the ability to thin slice an event or a meeting and make an immeadiate and accurate decision.I don't believe him.I think people thin slice things and make mistakes all the time.And if you combine snap decisions and stubbornness, well, that for me, explains a lot about how humanity carries out its daily business...Sometimes the best things take time. Sometimes things that look great, taste awful. Sometimes a song you hate becomes brilliant.Life is more complicated than television wants you to think it is.I say, enjoy complexity - don't ever fear it.Remembering the old job......I can hear them now in the break room, during one of their many breaks, muttering to each other, about how "I told them, we should be doing X and of course now we're doing Y and I'll get the blame"Of course in this case, X would be the equivalent of having a quiet smoke in a garage and then stuffing the smouldering butt into the fuel tank.They say in brainstorming there is no such thing as a bad idea.Sadly, this could not be further from the truth. And bad ideas are a potent currency in which "generators of" cling to with a touching fondness, hoping that they can cash these shite suggestions in at the altar of success.Trust me when I say, I'm a lot closer to that altar and frankly the ideas they so fondly offer are worse than useless.I sometimes had to literally bite my tongue to avoid shouting aloud "What the fuck is wrong with you people?"The worst ones are the ones who just fail to get things done. You discuss something, you explain, you answer their questions, you listen to and deal with their objections and you get their agreement that this new idea is the best way forward.Then, at the next meeting, you hear a cavalcade of complaints and moans about how they don't understand, how no one explained, or my favourite one "We tried that and it didn't work"The notion that the way that they had approached it might be at fault, or that their execution was completely arseways, simply does not float through their heads.I guess that is the most annoying thing. Stupidity and Self Confidence seem to run together, hand in hand...It must be a wonderful world for morons. They seem to suffer from no self doubt, or maybe they simply lack the ability to think about whether something is right or wrong.If I could remove one category of people from the world, it would be the Self Confident Morons... Then maybe I could be rich...
MY KIDS
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