About Me

I love Horlicks. I adore Ovaltine. But cocoa is the ne plus ultra. It puts lead into my fat wax crayon. I can make love for a whole five seconds, including foreplay. My lady Zira and me have an open relationship. We'll sip Horlicks with anyone, so long as they're beautiful and damned.I edit an 'art' magazine called THE ILLUSTRATED APE, and it rocks. Ladies just love my simian charisma. I don't wear a medallion - and I shave.

THE END OF INERT ZINES IS NIGH!!! The first ever Illustrated Ape Monorex Secret Wars Animation Issue est arrivee: designed by the incredible SICHI, features hep-cat painter Anthony Ausgang, and a whole bulging barrel of mixed up graffiti chimps, scribbler gorillas, and orangutang animators bursting out all over the place higgeldy-piggeldy fashion - Secret Wars, Psyop, Teck, Alfa, H. E. Jones, Nanospore LLC, Horso, Gentleman Starkey, Chu, Inkfetish, Ink Bomb Studios, Jethro Haynes, Tim Hill, Odisey, Jason Atomic, Glossy Ink, Honey Manko, Sichi, Salena Godden, Nigel Burch, Jimmy Crayon, Terry Guy, Alessandra Tisato, Tim Wells, Chris Hill, Shannon Stephaniuk, Jay Allard and Square. Check out this and loads of other brilliant issues at www.theillustratedape.com
CHECK OUT THE FACEBOOK GROUP: THE ILLUSTRATED APE

GET SEEN!!! Treat yourself to THE ILLUSTRATED APE magazine - submit DRAWINGS, STORIES and POEMS - post, and comment on, your FLASH ANIMATIONS. Share your art and voices at...

www.theillustratedape.comClick on the badge below from some great Ape vidz!
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My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Intelligent arty girls with enormous brains, who are into writing sensitive poetry, or searing prose, who like making music, who can draw the most spectacular illustrations, and who bang like a shed door in a hurricane.Zira would like to meet similar people - but with one tiny difference.

My Blog

Every Little Comfort that an Ape Needs to Get Comfortable with David Attenborough

You find me in an animated yet tranquil mood today. My son Caesar now one of the rising stars of the BBC sound department - has been selected from a number of thrusting young simians to accom...
Posted by on Tue, 18 Nov 2008 14:40:00 GMT

GENIUS? Certainly!

I am proud to announce the birth of the BEST EVER compendium of photos and words (I can say that modestly because the contributors made it with minimal interference from my monkey self) So... PREPARE ...
Posted by on Wed, 28 May 2008 10:30:00 GMT

My new baby!

Zira has finally given birth to the new Illustrated Ape HEAVENLY issue, featuring an exclusive collectors vinyl disc of St Etienne, with Jeff Barrett, Stella Vine, Paul Cannell, Nicky Wire and The Man...
Posted by on Sat, 03 Nov 2007 18:42:00 GMT

Heavenly

My, my! Have you ever thrust your mitts into a pot of swarfega, squished it between your digits, and tape recorded the resulting sound with maximum reverb? I have to say I tried something li...
Posted by on Thu, 27 Sep 2007 13:45:00 GMT

Cornelius in a coma

I don't know if you heard about my recent near-death experience? (My son Caesar said he would put something about it on my Myspace page, but the demands of his new job are very pressing and I st...
Posted by on Thu, 15 Mar 2007 09:24:00 GMT

My diet - NOT!!!!

Cornelius is on a diet Since her return from California, Zira has subscribed to a herb and seed diet in order to maximise the well-being of her aura. Consequently we have all been subsisting on some...
Posted by on Tue, 29 Aug 2006 07:45:00 GMT

The ear of 1976

Cornelius recalls the end of an ear 1976, eh? That summer when everything withered and went yellow, and those of us in the know either rioted or cut our hairYes! With my fur bleached and raised i...
Posted by on Tue, 04 Jul 2006 09:05:00 GMT

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I am here for Dating, Serious Relationships, Friends and Networking