********* I'm Ephraim and I'm the oldest. You can probably tell just by looking at how massive and jaw-droppingly handsome I am. Everything was just dandy until one day Mom brought home my brother Simon. Who wants a dumb ol' cat, anyway? I'm a natural born leader. Mom and Dad say I'm the reincarnation of Napoleon.. whoever that is. That's why I make the rules around here. As you can see, I should probably be modeling, but Mom and Dad insist on living in no-man's land, here in Illinois. Just so Dad can work. Like that's any excuse to stifle a dream. One day I'll make it big time and boy will they be sorry. You may send me gifts and treats to prove your worthiness and adoration. I prefer Greenies but I'm flexible. Also, I love to play with squeaky toys. You can't go wrong there, ladies.*********Yeah, I'm Simon. Don't mind him, he's an idiot. I'm pretty easy-going but sometimes I hit the nip and then things get crazy. I'm also the boss around here, but I let him think he is so his fragile psyche doesn't crack any more than it already is. Once in awhile, when he gets too big for his sweaters, I have to remind him exactly where he stands, though. One expertly placed claw and things settle down pretty quickly. For someone who thinks he's invincible, he sure cries like a little girl. He throws fits when he wants something, too. Real smooth. Quite the ladies man. He is good company, though, and even though we "tussle" as Mom calls it, he is my best friend. Probably because I can't leave the house, but he's my brother and I love him.
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