The name is Chang, Terrence Chang but many now call me 'Terry' (friends), 'Tez' (again friends), 'Iced T', 'T-Bag' (DK), 'Duck' (Von), 'Tezzabelle' (Clare), T (Reece and J), 'Cat' (Dog), 'Terr' (Practically everyone but especially my dawg for life Annie), or 'asian' (Max). In Chinese my name is ???. If you are not asian then please do not call me by my chinese name as you will be in more hot water then a japanese tea-bag.
My personality is split. On the one hand i am happy and modest and on the other i appear as though i have autism and am an accomplished narcissist.
I was born in Taiwan on the 2nd of June 1990 but promptly left and arrived in Australia when i was only 6 months old. Some rumours which I would now like to dispell are:
1) I was shipped to Australia as part of an expeditionary force for China in preparation for their invasion (Max)
2) I came on the back of a turtle because japanese junks costed too much(Max)
3) I was escaping from authorities in China for running illegal sweatshops (Max)
4) My parents placed me in a mcdonald's toy shipment bound for australia (Max)
5) I came to Australia for a certain someone-or so clare wishes
For reasons unknown, i have an natural affinity for Teriyaki and rice which Max justifies by saying that it is a genetic blessing. I am married 5 times but cannot reveal as to who as we are being hunted by social security agents. I have recently found out that giving massages is counted as a form of sexual harrasment. Please help me by petitioning this ridiculous falacy by commenting on the above blog and thereby voicing your opinion. Being a Gemini, i have split personalities. Heres a break down for you.
Side A) The suave friendly person you all know and love. This is the version that many are married to due to the irresistable affection most people harbour towards me.
Side B) The columbian narcotics drug trafficker who shouts sexual innuendos across the food court in Pac Fair, throws money on stage for gay performances and plots evil strategies for sneaking up on people in tents (JC you know who i'm refering to *evil grin*)
My schooling days started from Surfers 4217 State to A.B to ASAS. I belong to the prestigious Burling house and currently leads the green machine to fame in the position of Vice Captain along with Rowdy, Loz and Han, my right hand in the HCVO organization and my favourite candidate for future PM. Burling is without a doubt the best house ever with the likes of-max, clare the white, damo, rowdy and so on.
Me and my peeps are tighter than the plastic packaging on JC's dildoes and i will try to list the most of closest ones here.
Max Maffey the Racist. Me n him go way back to my humble beginings at ASAS being the first person who i spoke to and also being the person with whom i have to see every school morning for 3 years. We quarrel frequently on minor issues such as asian/white superiority, driving skills of asians and rice v bread. He believes rice has a distinct smell to it which it doesnt and together we have proven that one mans pet is indeed another mans dinner. He is my second brother who scabs food of me daily and likes to throw the frequent asian joke around much to the distaste of JC.
There's the kid who hangs around me, name's JC I think, I really only put up with him on the basis of common race... KIDDING JC - you will always be my brother from an oriental mother. John Chan, more commonly referred to as JC, Gay C, Jesus or Jason, was rated top 1 most payed out person in the history of ASAS. Without a doubt there has been no one more subject to racial prejudice or hatred then him. The major bulk of this, from Max Maffey. If there were anyone i would actually stand up and fight for, JC would be the one. Food scabbing maggot brothers for life, he puts me to shame when he flexes his steroid pumped muscles. Which we all know are fake.
Then there has been Clare - over the past 3 years that i have been at all saints she has been a constant hinderence to me causing me much grief and strife. Firstly, the infamous locker door of hers which she wields with much ferocity and zeal. Many a time have i looked up to greet her in the morning and to expect her to greet me back which has resulted in the locker door being the last thing that i see. Secondly, the obvious flaw. She claims her whitness... both in skin tone and in last name. Thirdly, the embarrasing Wop Bop-a-loo-op... twas quite the awkward moment...one in which no Burling member would ever desire to go thru again. Finally, recently, Hamlet...i found myself without a seat, my rightful seat having been taken forcibly by clare. halfway thru the show what does she do to annoy me but to prop her legs up against the back of my seat causing much discomfort and numbness in my back the next morn. But despite all this. i have found a place in my heart to forgive her. Is it cuz she's white? ITS CUZ YOUR ALL WHITE!
Reece Chang...tsk tsk tsk...heres a slight run-down on my brother
Hey T, Is melbourne in NSW?
And one from J
Hey T, is Australia in Queensland?
So as you can see although we have been living here for quite a while, we are cluless when it comes to Australias demographic locations.
