Eva Monkey profile picture

Eva Monkey

I am strong to break your fists on...

About Me

My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15 year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims, like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy - the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring, we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard, really.

My Interests

Mad Monkey Dancing, Film-making, slacking, rabble-rousing, bop-it.

I'd like to meet:

Those who judge other people's profiles by their choice of films.....

Music:

Punk, Vandals, X-ray Spex, Green Day, Decendants, Slits, Raincoats, Ska'dcore, capdown, 5knuckle, howards alias, snuff, king prawn, Dancehall Crashers, No Doubt (early stuff) Old skool hip-hop, run DMC, J5, Brassy, Dilated Peoples, De La Soul, Missy, Marc B + Blade, Black Twang, Unsung Heroes, Beastie Boys, Riot Grrl, Sleater-Kinney, Le Tigre, Cadilacca, Lesbo Pig, Blue Minkies, Hooker, Julie Ruin, The Need, Veruca Salt, Bangs, The Gossip, Dolly Parton, Bikini Kill, Bessy Smith, Mirah, Gravey train!!!, This beat is Lesbotronic, The Rondelles, Errase Errata, Holly Golightly, Anti-folk, Gomez, Moldy Peaches, Smashing Pumpkins, Paul Simon, Northern State, Gisli, Pixies, Biz Markie, Public Enemy, Beach boys, 60's Girl Groups, Kenickie, Kimya Dawson, Kelis, Father Jaxx, Hole, Distillers (all girl line up), Q-Bert, Devo, Jimi Hendrix, Lady Sov, Scott Matthew, Frank Turner, Robert Johnson, Crass, Cancer Bats, Anything you can dance to.

Movies:

All of them. Seriously, all of them.
But - John Hughes, John Walters (DE-mented forever!), Allison Anders, Jean-Pierre Jeunet, Gus Van Sant, Matthew Bright, The Coens, Mattheu Kassovitz, Sofia Coppola, Spike Jonze, Francios Ozon, Wes Anderson, Billy Wilder, Sadie Benning, Tammy-Rae Cartland, Amy Heckerling, Stephen Sondenburg, Kevin Smith, Every single shitty high skool movie, Anything with John Cusack, Bill Murray or Lili Taylor in it, Anything with Clea DuVall in it (hehehe), Group, By Hook or by Crook, High Society, Fear and Loathing, Leon, Society, Magnolia, Cabaret, Braindead, Hedwig, Reality Bites, Requiem for a Dream, Shaun of the Dead, The Blackboard Jungle, Pulp Fiction, The Truth About Cats and Dogs, Bob Roberts, Pump up the Volume, Brazil, Bulworth, Dorothy Parker and the Vicious Circle, Ma Vie En Rose, Troma, Mystery Men, Capuring the Friedmans, Stand by Me, The Station Agent, Bringing up Baby, Thirteen, Northfork, The Brady Bunch Movie, Get Carter, Real Worse than Queer, Flight of the Navigator, School For Scoundrels, The Goonies, Harriet the Spy, The Aristocats, Rock and Roll High School, Cable Guy, Halloween, Gridlock'd, Cube, Wonder Boys, Ed Wood, Stella Does Tricks, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Sexy Beast, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead, Thoroughly Modern Milly, Freaks, I shot Andy Warhol, Cabin Fever, Run Lola Run, Office Killer, Harvey, Dragnet, The Day of the Beast, Guys and Dolls, Aileen: The Life and Death of a Serial Killer, Kids, Monsters Inc, Say Anything, Saved, Bedazzled (Peter Cook), the Laramie Project, Bubba Ho-Tep, Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?, Cat People, Invasion of the Bodysnatchers, Asterix in Britain, The Company, All Over Me, Drop Dead Georgeous, The Iron Giant, Death to Smoochy, Rushmore, Goodbye Lenin, Love and a 45, Orgasmo, Annie Hall, What About Bob? Thank you for smoking, V for Vendetta, The Outsiders, This Filthy World, Pans Labyrinth, This is England, Sicko, Shortbus, Juno

Television:

Buffy, Invader Zim (whoever comissioned this is either a genius or a psychopath), QI, Six Feet Under, That 70's Show, Black Books, SPACED, Farscape, Carnivale, The Bloody L Word, Counts of the Netherworld (alas never aired).

However I Renounce TV and all it's Soul Sucking Evil. Life off the sofa is so much better! I am Healed! Join my MySpace Group Kill Your TV and be Free!!!

Books:

I heart Tom Robbins, Hunter Thompson, Don Quixote, Confederacy of Dunces, She Bop, My First Movie, The Blind Assassin, The Onion, Kurt Vonnegut, Girl Cinema, A Certain Age, Dashiell Hammett, No Logo, Carl Haaisen, Not Now Bernard, Once in a House on Fire, Noam Chomsky, Stephen Fry, Ed Bunker, Another day in Paradise, P.G Wodehouse, Michael Moore, Irvine Welch, Askew View, Carter Beats the Devil, Nightmare of Ecstacy, The Man in the High Castle, Hollywood Rats: Ed Wood Jr, The Contortionists Handbook, Goodness Had Nothing to Do with It: Mae West, American Scream, Dr. Seuss, Vile Bodies, Wonder Boys, The Princess Bride, Another Day in Paradise, Prize-winner of Defiance, Idaho, Everything is Illuminated, I Fatty, Shock Value, Zines.
Comic Books: Lenore, Filler Bunny, Grrl Scouts, Tank Girl, Ariel Schrag, Julie Doucet, Lobo, Kissing Chaos, Blue Monday, Strangers in Paradise, Stupid Comics, Bear, Love and Rockets.
Also my Zine, Le Sac Tragique. Mail me for a copy....

Heroes:

When I grow up I want to be.... Lili Taylor, Ad Rock, Bonanza Jellybean, Poly Styrene, Gina Birch, Alison Anders, John & Joan Cusack, Bill Murray, Bill Hicks, Janneane Garofalo, Ariel Schrag, Harry Dodge, Natasha Lyone, Ione Skye, Kimya Dawson, Hesta Prynn, Herman Bloom, Lauren Laverne, and all of my friends.

My Blog

Its a labour of love fucking yourself to death.....

Hey all.... Since my life got so mental I haven't really seen all my homies and homos in ages. So here is the news. 1.) I am broke, I am living on floors (mostly bama's, although when I'm good I ...
Posted by Eva Monkey on Wed, 23 Jul 2008 10:26:00 PST

An open letter to every mean person in the world...

Dear Fuckrag, Why is it that assholes the world over get all the luck, whilst the kick-assest people I know are perpetually getting fucked over by every bottom feeding, emotionally crippled ballbags ...
Posted by Eva Monkey on Fri, 14 Mar 2008 05:07:00 PST

I like pickled onions...

I live Piccallili,Pickled cabbage is all rightWith a little cold beef on a saturday night,I can grow tomatoes,But what I do prefer,Is a little bit of cucum-cucum-cucum,A little bit of cucumber.For ala...
Posted by Eva Monkey on Fri, 07 Mar 2008 05:04:00 PST

All the best people get fired...

So... guess what? I got sacked.What for you may wonder? Did I throw a customer under a train? Did I get caught letting all the hott squatter girls in and out for free? Did I sabotage the East London L...
Posted by Eva Monkey on Tue, 22 Jan 2008 12:05:00 PST

Hallelujah! It’s a new Tender Forever Album!

Thank the bloody lord. I wasn't sure I could go on much longer without something new and beautiful to listen to. You can check it out here! http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewpro ...
Posted by Eva Monkey on Sat, 06 Oct 2007 09:18:00 PST

my cross to bare is dental.

OOOOOOOWW! I feel like me teeth are gonna fall out! Fuck. this hurts like a motherfucker. Dentists suck.  
Posted by Eva Monkey on Thu, 02 Aug 2007 05:23:00 PST

Nevermore...

I'm searching for an upside to my insomnia... here it is.... I'm getting a dab-hand on the bloody uke. And the new comic is gathering pace. A fucking snooze would be nice though. I just want to go to ...
Posted by Eva Monkey on Mon, 12 Mar 2007 10:42:00 PST

R.I.P, Polar Bear, Peckham Rye Park

Bear that is borne of Monkey is of few days, and full of trouble. He springs forth like a flower; and is cut down, he fleeth as a shadow and continueth not in one stay.amen
Posted by Eva Monkey on Thu, 08 Feb 2007 11:06:00 PST

In one piece! More or Less...

Zup yall, just to let you know I´m fine, I´m with Bear and Sam in Mexico City and I had a really great time in San Francisco! Only one problem... I´ve hardly spoken to my lady!!! So if any of you see...
Posted by Eva Monkey on Sat, 28 Oct 2006 12:49:00 PST

More new pictures of yr favorite monkey...

Check out the link in the old eva monkey/photobucket thing for more pics of my travels and shit like that...to all my buddies, amy, chips, dan, beans, luca, hols, mitz, rach, noush + pheobes and all m...
Posted by Eva Monkey on Fri, 27 Oct 2006 11:42:00 PST