Lara

Currently; The challenge I have set my self to do well in my psychology course, DC and Marvel comics (a new beginner), learning to play my new yamaha keyboard ( and being fixated on chords and seemingly incapable of learning how to read notes thus generally annoying neighbours with my repetitive but amazing chord compositions), talking to myself, lone walks, writing, dancing, being reclusive, watching drunkards outside my window in superioric disdain, female villians, a more than unhealthy interest in Stephen Fry, Amoebas and Grapes. Surpassing myself,reading a science text book for leisure unpressured by the need to remember the terms. Rediscovering the joy of Saki, The sparkling sophisticated wit of a bygone English era. The magnificence of articulated ladies and gentlemen in a jovial discussion, of tea and crumpets, a tinker of a caviar fork, and a half felt menacing undercurrent. I am prone to fantasy.
Yet truthly, it is mostly Egoism. That self centeredness, that misleading arrogance that goes in hand in hand with the lack of selfconfidence, I do embrace.I Self development never should stop.

It is fair to say that I exist within a dream of a dream. And will do so till that dream is realised.

This is a common sight I have to admit. Dazed yet not confused. I often find myself detaching from my reality to dwell comfortably in a place where thoughts melt into abstractions and leave the faintest blue print of meaning.

Great ideas dance tantalizingly through the net of memory and are gone before I can comprehend their importance.
Sometimes they are of the absurb variety that can only be inspired by a childlike wonderance.

Sometimes they are of nothing but a concept, a dream, or the remembrance of a secret smile. And sometimes they are of nothing. Just the simple pleasure of shutting of mundane events to be left free to sinply be. I believe finding joy in nothing is often far better than passing the time in forced engagement that soceity so demands.
However I am challenging this. It appears to be a flaw that I either accept on despise. A furious cycle, that could self destruct, and in danger of destroying the potentional of human communication. This did not matter before, until I found someone who mattered dearly.

'Quotation is a substitute form of wit'- Oscar Wilde
that said, I have been lucky to be in the company of brilliant people who pepper their conversation with wit and madness, and (sometimes just a splashing of wine).

"I am exquisitely angry right now"- Simon on realising he poured the wrong measurements for cocktails

"Here are your cocktails, if you dont like them, do tell me, and I will shout"- Simon

"If you think about it, taps are actually miracalous"- quoth Rosy Amoeba Stephenson in my kitchen

"I fancy everyone and everything"- KT Grape

"You Pompous Hippopotamous"! - Rosy talking about me in a sudden wild fit of clarity

"Hmmm I dont know, but I distinctly remember chuckling handsomely about it. By the way, we must ammend old habits of giggling. Chuckling implies a dignified sense of humour, giggling reminds too much of a girlish adolescence"- Lara

"The roof of my mouth feels different in comparison to all the other times of my life" Sam commenting on Suresh's chilli pork rice"

Rosy :"I say ol chap! Look at that poster, How very shakespearian" she said with a certain air of dignity"
Lara: I quite beg to differ ol chum, as peachy and quite simply smashing an idea as that may be, I regret to tell you are simply and utterly quite quite wrong, Lara replied breezily"
- The beginnings of a staged and verbally scripted debate on the London tube to Camden that left other passengers buttclenched at the edge of their seats in disguised yet obvious fascination

" You silly little juvenille, begone from my line of sight! Go hence begone before I become mildly irritated and extract your guts from your skinny frame of a body and stuff them down your throat. Flee for your life and not give one backwards glance. Never speak to me, never approach me, never advertise your presence to me by even the smallest sound. Or it will awaken a monster, and I know not what it will do but I assure you it will be the terrors of the earth. Flee hence not here, but the Great Elsewhere to which I have no access. Be removed. Piss off. Get utterly outly out! "- What I wished I had told that wretched little troublemaker!