"I'M A BAD MAMA-JAMA GODAMMIT MUTHA FUCKA SHE AIN'T GOT IT LIKE ME!"I am a "CALIFORNIAN." That means...-Everyone hates cops-I live next door to mexicans-Our chicks are WAYYYY hotter than yours- I say "like" and "for sure" and "right on" and "dude" and "totally" and "peace out" and "chill" and "tight" and "bro" and "hell of" and "hella" and "faded" and "stoked" and "fo sho" and I say them often- I know what real cheese & avocados taste like-All the porn you watch is made here, cause we fuck better and thats how it is- I don't get snowdays off because theres only snow in Mammoth, Tahoe, Shasta, Big Bear, and Wright Wood- I can wear sandals all year long, unless im in those places- I go to the Beach - not "down to the shore"- I know 65 mph really means 100- When someone cuts me off, they get the horn and the finger and high speed chase cuz we dont fuck around on the road- The drinking age is 21 but everyone starts at 14 (legally 18 if you live close enough to the border)- My governor can kick your governors ass- I can go out at midnight-You judge people based on what area code they live in, and when asked where you're from, you give your area code- I might get looked at funny by locals when I'm on vacation in their state, but when they find out I'm from California I turn into a Greek GOD- We don't stop at stop signs... we do a "california roll" No cop no stop baby!- I can get fresh and REAL Mexican food 24 hours a day- All the TV shows you "other" states watch get filmed here- EVERYONE smokes weed. no exceptions.-We're the Golden State. Not the Cheese State. Not the Garden State.....GOLDEN!!!- We have In-N-Out (Arizona and Vegas are lucky we share that with them)- I have the most representation in the House of Representatives, which means MY opinion means more than yours, which means I'm better than you- The best athletes come from here-We got disneyland....wut now!-we call it soda, not pop IF YOU'RE FROM CALIFORNIA, SMOKE DAT CALI SHIT. IF NOT, GO SIT IN A CORNER AND CRY.
If Ariane Casasola were a drink they would be:
3 parts cute
2 parts fatal
3 parts attractiveness
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