I licked a lobster and you didn’t, therefore lady luck is on my side!
Gotta Love Dynos
Sex is a sport, like a racquetball... play hard for a half an hour, work up a sweat, and hope you don’t get hit in the eye.
You should never underestimate the predictability of stupidity
"The best way into a girl's bed is through her parents. Have sex with them, and you're in."
"My next clue came at 4:15, when the clock stopped. And another came 2 hours later at 4:15 when I discovered the murdered body of Amy's dead, deceased corpse!"
"When I grow up, I want to be a steamshovel!"
"Ugh, it's like there's a party in my mouth and everyone's throwing up."
"Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer "extortion." The "X" makes it sound cool."
"And down the stretch its Danny's little grandpa, followed by perennial loser and bringing up the rear, its lastie! C'mon LASTIE!!!"
"I enjoy jetpack racing, human boxing, and early Titte Brothers. My ideal date would be with a female human who is at least 4’ shorter than me and light enough for me to carry above my head and sprint for 100 yards. We can go to a nice appliance store and grab the spinning fans or maybe go stare at an eclipse while screaming at it; and that man was Eli Whitney. Then we could retire back to my place and play 100 games of video pong... pong. Or simply get to know one another by dragging each other around my living room with a large magnet; I’m talking... My favorite movie is “The Apple Dumpling Gangâ€, Ahh, Conway. I have a real sweet tooth..."
I like an escalator, cause an escalator can never break it can only become stairs. You would never see an escalator temporarily out of order sign, just escalator temporarily stairs, sorry for the convenience. We apologize for the fact that you can still get up there.
Light, in the absence of eyes, illuminates nothing. Visible forms are not inherent in the world, but are granted by the act of seeing. Though the world and events do exist independent of mind, they obtain of no meaning in themselves: none that the mind is not guilty of imposing on them. I bid my people follow, and like all good equations, they follow; for full endowment of purpose, they do submit - in turn, they resign me to a role inhuman, impossible, and unaccountable. But I can no longer stand the sleepless nights.... I think I am learning to love the Demiurge.
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