Hello, I'm Bob Carolgees. You may remember me from Tiswas, I was that hilarious bloke with his hand up a dogs arse.Here are 10 facts about popular entertainer Bob Carolgees.1 Bob Carolgees is the only D-list Celebrity Visible from space.2 Bob Carolgees refuses point blank to believe in the acidity of lemon juice and if anyone tries to explain it to him he backs them into a corner and emits a high pitched scream one inch from their face.3 Bob refuses to have sex with his wife unless she allows him access to her shit pipe.4 Bob's best friend owns a sweet shop and he lets Bob have one bag of free pick 'n' mix per week. Bob repays him in winnits.5 Bob Carolgees has several techniques for seducing a lady. They include rubbing marmite into her flange, talking mucky, dressing up like Lovejoy and date rape.6 Bob Carolgees' bottom has a tendency to become extremely sweaty during prolonged sexual intercourse.7 Bob Carolgees spent Christmas 1993 alone in a cupboard.8 Bob Carolgees is incapable of producing his own bogies and has to have artificial bogies imported in from the Congo .9 Bob Carolgees 'dog' doesnt actually spit. Bob is merely making the sound effect of a dog spitting whilst violently lurching its head back and forth. Bob is therefore a LIAR. A dirty filthy liar who deserves to die.10 99% of gargoyles look like Bob Carolgees.
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