.....OnLy FoR sUrE tHiNg Is NoThIn Is FoR sUrE....

IF A MAN WANTS YOU:1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. 2. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. 3. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. 4. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. 5. Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be. 6. Slower is better. 7. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. 8. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve, then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. 9. Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. 10. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. 11. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. 12. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently? 13. Always have your own set of friends separate from his. 14. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. 15. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. 16. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less. 17. Never let a man define who you are. 18. Never borrow someone else's man. Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. 19. All men are NOT dogs. 20. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street. 21. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... 22. Deal with your issues before pursuing a new Relationship. 23. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary. 24. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and your always readily available to him- he takes it for granted. 25. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others. 26. Share this with other ladies..... You'll make someone SMILE, another RETHINK her choices, and another woman PREPARE. They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them. BY THE WAY, THIS WAS WRITTEN BY A MAN, SO TAKE A HINT..............
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More random than your mother
Whats the FIRST thing that comes to mind when you hear...
Potato: chips
Doll: face
Oyster: slime
Dog: breath
Tin can: the telephone game
Telephone: talking?
Red toenail: prostitutes
Have you ever...
Gotten stuck in an elevator: no
Egged a person: HAHAH yea
Egged a persons driveway but not their house: umm no
Stalked someone to find what classes they have or where they work or live: I wouldnt say stalked....just watched very well
Gotten in a garbage can and had your friend push you: not in years
Spent an entire day wearing nothing but your underwear: yea
Eaten french fries with a vanilla shake: hell yea
Burped up cheese on someone: uhh no
Read your friends journal without them knowing it: no
Gone skinny dipping: yea
Microwaved a peice of silverwear: yup
Been in a fist fight: with boys
Been in a cat fight: like with a cat?
Had a crush on a cartoon: no..
Lasts
Animal noise you made: I dont know!
Time you tripped: like two hours ago over this fuckin cable cord in the hall
Time you cleaned around the base of the toilet: thats not my job
Kind of gum you had: orbit
pair of socks you wore: white ones?
Beverage you had: pepsi
Spur of the moment decision you made: get a tattoo
Movie you watched: probably madagascar
Person of the opposite sex you thought about: My Asshole brother
Time you saw a pengiun: Actually I dont think I have
Time you ate pancakes: At Denny's a while back
What would you...
Say if your best friend (whatever sex) told you they loved you: tell them I love them back
Do if someone gave you a llama for the next holiday: kick that person in the throat
Ask the genie for your 3 wishes (Same rules as in Aladin): for money, more money, and more money
Think if your mom came home wearing fishnets one day: I'd think to kick her in her ass!
Do if someone egged you: laugh hella hard cause it would either be Goose Or Denise...or dumb JENNIFER ANNE SCALES!!
Those are boring so....
Carebears or Grizzley bears: carebears
Spiderman or Charlottes Web: neither
Black or White: Black
Fast forward or rewind: rewind
Bath or shower: shower
Granola or glitter: glitter
Devotion or distance: devotion
Elbows or knees: there both ashy
Girls or boys: Friendship:girls Partners:boys
Ambarassment or boredom: NEITHER
Public or private: private
Surfers or phsychics: surfers
New years or 4th of July: 4th
Tree house or boat house: boat
Singularity or multiplicity: multiplicity
Anarchists or vantriloquists: Vantriloquist...I like puppets
1970's or 1080's: umm i guess the 70's
Paper or Plastic: plastic
Ants in Pants or Cooties: ants...aint cooties the crabs? yea dont want that
Slopes or beach: beach
Finger paints or toe rings: finger paint
Aeschlus or Sophocles: wtf?
Super heroes or super villians: heroes
Mullet or shaved head: shaved
I love lucie or i dream of jeannie: both
Nudity or dentistry: how do those even compare?
Korean hand acupuncture or Japanese magnet therapy: magnet
Ski or guitar lessons: guitar
Biting the hand that feeds or looking a gift horse in the mouth: neither
Monster trucks or bumper cars: bumber cars
Goats or llamas: they both stink
Realists or surrealists: realist
Honesty or niceness: ehhh honesty
Blindfolded or handcuffed: no
Thinking or acting: thinking
Streaking or sky diving: streaking
Right now
What are you wearing: sweats
What are you thinking: this shit is long
What are you listening to: nothing
How does tuna fish sound to you right now: superb
Would a grapefruit be better: fuck no
Did thethought of how gross those would be together cross your mind: no
What are you listening to: u just asked that
What would you like to be listening to: i dont know
What are you doing other than this survey: talkin to my sis in law
Have you ever owned a goat: do I look like farmer Joe?
What are your 5 favorite salad dressings: Ranch,1000, french,honey mustard, caesar
Are you annoyed by the length of this survey: Very
Are you tired: yes
Do you have any bruises or cuts on you body: yes but I wont be obtaining anymore...
How many people are in the room: 2
Are there any animals in the room: 2
Is this your room: no
Are you eating anything (I'm eating tuna!): no
Does tuna gross you out: no
Do turkeys amuse you: only because they drown themselves in the rain
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