ξελογιάστρα profile picture

ξελογιάστρα

in what you want but trust in only what you see

About Me

i'm the girly girl that's not prissy and acts like a dude. the smell of the beginning of fall make me forget everything that ever goes wrong in my life. i'm an artist. i look at things with a different perspective. i take pretty much anything and pull out it's beauty, or i just completely distort it for fun. i would seem like freak (especially in the bed) by looking at me but i'm actually a passionate person. i've lost more friends than can u can count on my fingers in toes in tragic ways (which i hope to see them on the other side). i fall in love easy but my heart breaks easier. i just graduated with a degree that my body now can't physically do all the time so i'll go back for another eventually. sucks when ur 24 and ur body makes u feel like ur 70. i have somewhere between 20 and 25 piercings (lost count after awhile) and 3 tattoos. everything i do it's always for someone else. not very often will i ever think about myself. that's why u see me put others before myself. my personality is almost just like my mom's. we act too much alike, and i'm proud of that. there's no one else in the world that i would rather be like. but at least she's not as crazy as i am. i do not plan on spending the rest of my life here in north carolina. hopefully in the next year i will outa of here.
Your Love Style is Agape
You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner.
Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare.
You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie.
Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you.
For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love. What's Your Love Style?

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

MYSELF! And I just found her!!

Music:

my music taste is very broad and growing. i do have my guilty pleasures though, just don't laugh at em if u know what they are. but if u do then i'll give u a surprise! "Music is life and life is nothing but a stage" ~me

Movies:

I 3 huckabees, Amelie, Pi~Faith in Chaos, What Dreams May Come, Donnie Darko, Girl Interrupted, white oleander, Reqiuem for a dream, clock work orange (actually anything stanley kubrick), american history X, grandma's boy, beerfest, and supertroopers are just a few of em and there's many. plus sick gory horror movies are my fave. i also can't get enough of those cheesey lifetime movies. lol. the list would go on if i named them all.

Television:

anything with forensic science, history, and cartoons.

Books:

Complete Kama Sutra, Master Handbook of Acoustics, Music Law, My Life Among the Serial Killers, Beyond Orgasms, 1984, Kurt Cobain Journals are just few to the vast list I enjoy and read almost on a daily basis.

Heroes:

i have many...Most are dead and gone but not forever. the memories of them keeps me going. RIP Trey and my friends that are gone but will never leave my heart or my mind. you guys built a big part me.

My Blog

Lived by the sword, died by the gat

He wouldn't leave when ross and i asked him to go with us when we left the party.  He called later at 5 wanting ross to pick him up, but then decided to stay there. I had just taken him home to h...
Posted by DrEaMs Go By CoNtRaRiEs on Wed, 07 Dec 2005 08:48:00 PST

i thought...

it was overbut u twisted my thoughts and emotionsi can't let him touch mecan't let him kiss mewithout being disgustedbecause it's not uur in my headmy heartand u won't go awaywhy?...
Posted by DrEaMs Go By CoNtRaRiEs on Fri, 24 Nov 2006 01:27:00 PST

Trey, why did u make me promise what i did?????

not only i have been hurtingb/c trey is gone and boy how i've been hurting trying to keep a damn promise but god how i wish i never made it. why the fuck would u do this to me trey??? do u really want...
Posted by DrEaMs Go By CoNtRaRiEs on Wed, 15 Nov 2006 11:03:00 PST

It's...

sad... no  matter how much u  know this person is a liar and betrayed you...you still miss  him more than anything else in the world.
Posted by DrEaMs Go By CoNtRaRiEs on Mon, 13 Nov 2006 12:30:00 PST

Never

You should have never said "I love you"Never held my face and said I was beautifulNever have fallen in loveOr made me fall in loveYou should have never lost yourselfNever acted so strongEspecially whe...
Posted by DrEaMs Go By CoNtRaRiEs on Sat, 28 Oct 2006 11:43:00 PST

After Awhile

This has been my favorite poem since i was in the 9th grade and something i always try to live by...but most of the time it's to hard too."After Awhile"Afte awhile you learn the suble differenceBetwee...
Posted by DrEaMs Go By CoNtRaRiEs on Mon, 23 Oct 2006 12:28:00 PST

FUCK THIS SHIT!

The old Amanda is fucking BACK!!!(minus the drinking for right now) The one u have seen in almost a year. Be prepared. MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Posted by DrEaMs Go By CoNtRaRiEs on Fri, 20 Oct 2006 09:26:00 PST

Not himself

i have no emotions anymore. all i do is smoke one cig after another. i haven't eaten in days. numb, all over. i can see myself shake though. i love someone that is not himself. put me in a shell for p...
Posted by DrEaMs Go By CoNtRaRiEs on Thu, 19 Oct 2006 01:11:00 PST

no more

i can't drink anymore. i don't want to. when i drink i end up emotional and doing stupid shit to myself and people i love. i can't torment my life like this anymore. it has to end and it has to end no...
Posted by DrEaMs Go By CoNtRaRiEs on Wed, 18 Oct 2006 06:58:00 PST

lessons

everything bad thing in life happens for a reason. whether we wanted it to happen or not. the past is past. even the mistakes we make in a drunken state. lessons are learned and that is how life is. i...
Posted by DrEaMs Go By CoNtRaRiEs on Tue, 17 Oct 2006 09:46:00 PST