Coach Smith

I like to read, rant and listen to Hungarian gangsta rap. I can throw a baseball 75 mph and bench press a washer & dryer. I am a silent partner at Johnson & Johnson and can type 56 words a minute. I can inhale charcoal, corn and water and exhale bourbon. I tutor John Bon Jovi's kids in Latin and home economics. I can make a sensible pair of ice skates in 2 hours time and 1-minute rice in 28 seconds. I am a master at minesweeper. I neither know when to hold 'em nor when to fold 'em.I believe in God, comfortable shoes, George Brett, digital cameras, Kansas City Chiefs football, outlet mall shopping, microwave ovens, country music made in Austin, ballcaps, good advertising and the writing of Bill Simmons. I believe the best band and best offensive threat to ever grace a gridiron are the Beatles and Barry Sanders, but not necessarily in that order. I believe Tecmo Super Bowl is the greatest video game ever made and that dogs make great pets. I believe in turn signals, ankle socks and staying up late. I believe in pickup trucks, Lucky jeans, air conditioning, fried chicken and taking the time to spell things correctly. I believe 50 Cent will be assassinated in the next 5 years and I believe that baseball is the greatest game ever created. I believe in my dog, my family, my friends and myself.I don't believe in astrology, inexplicable wrist bands, the Pussycat Dolls or Rascal Flatts. I don't believe that gymnastics is a sport. I don't believe in American Idol, popped collars, keeping fish as pets or thin mustaches. I don't believe in capri pants for men, fake breasts for women or clothing for pets. I don't believe in talking on the phone(cellular or otherwise) during a meal or lying about your age. I don't believe in postmodernism, Michael Moore, getting married in Vegas, or gin. I don't believe cheating on someone is okay under any circumstances and I sure as shit don't believe in open relationships or "taking a break." I don't believe in immediately judging someone, but I don't believe judging others is always wrong. I don't believe in the Tuck Rule or rooting for several teams in the same sport. I don't believe in fist fighting or cock-eyed mesh hats. I don't believe I'm close to perfect, nor do I believe anyone is. Home | Browse | Search | Invite | Film | Mail | Blog | Favorites | Forum | Groups | Events | Videos | Music | Comedy | Classifieds