Jay Esco

People On The Subway That Deserve To Die
1. Overweight people that think they can squeeze their fat ass into a seat on a train that wouldn't fit an anorexic supermodel, so there is no need for you to huff and puff that you can't get your fat ass onto the seat next to me.
2. Those assholes that position themselves at the doors of the train so they can be the first person off. That's fine and dandy with me, but, hows about standing aside to let some of us on the train to begin with? You obsessive compulsive fucks...the world isn't going to come to an end if you aren't the first one off the fucking train!!!!
3. People who just have to read their newspaper in the morning on a crowded train. I dealt with one of you...I was sick of that paper scraping across my neck every time you turned a page...what did I do? I grabbed the fucking thing and balled it up. You know who you are.
4. It's been mentioned before, but people that bring their stinky food on the train. Usually this occurs in the morning. Listen asshole...it's disgusting. I view eating food on the train as being in the same ballpark as eating food in a public restroom. How is this for a solution? Wake your lazy ass up half hour earlier and eat your nasty food in the privacy of your home.
5. While we are on this kick...women who do their makeup on the train. Unless you are homeless, or are a ho freshening up from a long nights work...there is no excuse for you to make the packed subway train your little vanity room. Every time a woman does that, I pray that the train will stop short, forcing them to jab their liner pencils into their eye.
6. Look for your Metrocard BEFORE standing in the turnstile. Have a look around you, you are in people's way, and you are going to be killed. Step aside, get your fucking act together, and then proceed to the turnstile.
That's all for now, but I'm sure I will have more.
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