Hello, am i Alone? by ~ ryanjimjam on deviant ART
I'm the girl that's always smiling but isn't always happy.I love too easily but hate admitting it-when people know that you love them it's too easy for them to hurt you.I'm ambitious and hate being talked down too, there's no such thing as people being better than other people. Some people just make bad choices and some people get lucky,there is no hierarchy to life. I'm a realist, sometimes a pessimistic realist but I can't help that. I try to think positively, but 'happy-go-lucky' can't be achieved automatically.Right now I'm in a pretty good place. I've been accepted at the Uni I want to go too for the course that'll get me in the career I want. I have a job that is a pain sometimes but I work with some of the most amazing people, they're all different but each one of them has taught me something about life, love and how far people can go to get what they want. Lately I've been slightly neglectful of my friends, and I hate that. It's hard to be everybody's best friend and to be there for every shopping trip/sleepover/dancing night that people want you for. This doesn't mean that I don't care or that I prefer other people, but I have things in my life too that need my time. I think I'm finally growing up, which scares the Hell out of me. I guess it's good but I don't know if everybody around me are ready for the 'new me'. I see everyday as a gift, and I can't hate people. I have trust issues and can be extremely insecure. I don't see these as weaknesses though. I'd prefer to doubt somebody and wonder about things than be over-confident and full of myself, and easier to hurt. I love Ryan, the only man I've ever known to love me for me. There are only three girls that know just how crappy I can be, how paranoid,insecure and bitchy. But like Ryan, they also see the side of me that dances on tables to the Clash and serenades them with fifties songs.They see good in me.I love these people like family and unlike a lot of people lately, I don't want this handful of people to just drop out of my life like I never existed. Ryan is literally my life. Everything I plan I plan around him, around us. He is all I want for now and always. We have no idea what the future holds for us but we know that we both want each other in it until the day we die. We're not perfect, but we are perfect for each other. We fit. Like I've said before,wanting it like the movies, having it better than the screen.
M agical
I ntelligent
C aring
H elpful
A ngelic
E legant
L oving
A rtistic
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