Pip

I am excellent. During the few weeks in which I was quite nice to myself, I moved up my ‘friend table’ to become my own best friend. I am dedicated to spending all of my time with myself, and I am privileged that this is not only possible but also inevitable. We have a lot of fun together. We mainly chuckle at passers-by and occasionally somebody falls over – that’s especially good. On Saturday we pretend to be soldiers. I hide mines in the grass and then I find them again - our day is often capped by a nice can of Tizer. Every Wednesday we like to jump up and down loads, until we eventually fall over. Actually I don’t like Wednesday’s much at all, but it’s easier just to go along with it than have to put up with myself going on about it all day. Also, we both like butter but it can get quite competitive when it comes to toast – ha ha ha ha ha ha! We do fight sometimes, but it always gets solved with a good Chinese burn – I can do them better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!You could just message me if you want to know anything real about me. I think that everyone should come to Sziget in Budapest this summer and live in drunken harmony for a week wishing that real life could be like that. I’ll also be at Rock Werchter in Belgium at the end of June as well because the line-up is superb, and invading foreign countries is what the British do best. That is all. (Lily Allen is still my hero and role model incidentally. I am going to cheer her very loudly in Belgium, and Andi Peters has promised to join me in my public display of affection. He’s a sycophant but don't you worry - he won’t win me over)