-"I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work. "
-"Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that. "
-"There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past. "
-"I wonder if a classical music composer ever intentionally composed a piano piece that was physically impossible to play and then stuck it away in a trunk to be found years after his death, knowing it would forever drive perfectionist musicians crazy."
-"So I worship the sun. But I don't pray to the sun. You know why? Because I wouldn't presume on our friendship. It's not polite. I've often thought people treat God rather rudely. Trillions and trillions of prayers every day, asking and pleading and begging for favors. "Do this;give me that;I need this;I want that." And most of this praying takes place on Sunday, his day off! It's not nice and it's no way to treat a friend."
-"Why do they put a suicide watch on certain death row prisoners? Why would you care if a man you're planning to kill kills himself? Does it spoil the fun? I also think about the death row prisoner in Texas who, on the day before his execution, managed to take a drug overdose. They rushed him to the hospital, saved his life, then brought him back to prison and killed him. Apparently, just to piss him off."-Monty: I know what you're thinking now. You think we're all gay, don't you? Think we're all just a bunch of deviant lifestyle-living same-sex having motherfuckers, am I right?
Mitch: Yeah.
Monty: Well, listen. You can put that faggoty baby to bed right now. None of the guys that work here are gay.
Monty: I mean, I'll stick my finger up my ass every now and again when I'm feeling squirrely, but that's about the extent of it.
Damn, you are so cool.
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