yeah. talking with people. ping pong. vodka. coors original OR coors light if the previous of the two isnt available. being funny. making fun of people, up to and including myself. making funny noises and weird faces. squishing my nose against my face to impress/disgust strangers. shooting hoops is good. the beach is good. hm.
I noticed that when I've been .. lately my fingers kinda auto-type the link to wikipedia and I spend hours sometimes on that site...it's heinously interesting. anything you want to know about at all is on that site. I think the funniest thing they talk about is the shocker and all its variants. Spocker, New Jersey Meat Hook, The Brunswick et. all. Check it out.
adopt your own virtual pet!
I'd like to meet:
Well since this list is "I'd like to MEET" instead of "I'd like to MEAT", this list will be shorter than usual..not by much though...Slash, Ron White, Dave Chapelle, Tom Cruise so that he could clutch his scientology bible while cowering at my sheer monstrous size, hm...can't think right now. anyone sarcastic and funny. but you know when two funny people are together and with a group of others, it inevitably leads to them trying to one-up each other. which is lame. just designate one person as the funny one, for the love of Hell. I just digressed.
I'd like to meet anne rice just on a "stand-in-line-to-get-my-book-signed" level, erm..
hell i dunno. people should want to meet me.
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Michael Douglas aka Douglas Ezekial Fresh, Esq. aka Miguel
Birthday: March 11th
Birthplace: the southern Oregon coast. my grandma helped deliver me. i had a cawl over my head.
Current Location: Scarlett Johannson's bed
Eye Color: blue
Hair Color: blonde
Height: 6'5
Right Handed or Left Handed: Righty Tighty
Your Heritage: Russian mostly. Some Norwegian too.
The Shoes You Wore Today: Work boots.
Your Weakness: don't like conflict too much, it's pretty pointless
Your Fears: i dunno, the usual...neverending loneliness, waking up without my sense of humor anymore cause i'm old and crotchety
Your Perfect Pizza: pepperoni and black olive, with light sauce
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: So many, so little time.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: don't instant message but i guess in person my overused phrase for coworkers is "JUST DIE."
Thoughts First Waking Up: "Whhhhhyyyyyyyyy???"
Your Best Physical Feature: height i guess
Your Bedtime: 10ish on worknights, weekends are at a much more ridonculous hour
Your Most Missed Memory: fun times with the guys on the boat i guess
Pepsi or Coke: coke but both are good
MacDonalds or Burger King: would prefer a 19oz t bone steak, thanks
Single or Group Dates: beggers can't be choosers
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: tea is gross
Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: coffee
Do you Smoke: yep, deal with it
Do you Swear: ...never
Do you Sing: actually i did karaoke a few times and people say im good
Do you Shower Daily: god no, that's gross.
Have you Been in Love: thought so once
Do you want to go to College: your MOM goes to college
Do you want to get Married: i don't think so...well i can't see it happening anyway
Do you belive in yourself: of course i "belive" in myself
Do you get Motion Sickness: no
Do you think you are Attractive: sometimes
Are you a Health Freak: not so much but if i got out of shape i'd fix myself
Do you get along with your Parents: yes
Do you like Thunderstorms: hell yes
Do you play an Instrument: used to play the bassoon, can sorta play guitar
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: in the last minute i have
In the past month have you Smoked: yep
In the past month have you been on Drugs: no
In the past month have you gone on a Date: no, but thanks for reminding me
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: no they're kinda useless now...more a teenybopper hangout than anything nowadays
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: no i dont really like those
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: ugh, kill yourself
In the past month have you been on Stage: "if it's not on the page, it's not on the stage". the answer is no
In the past month have you been Dumped: no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: what does the last month have to do with these questions? but no
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: scarlett johansson's heart
Ever been Drunk: by now you should know
Ever been called a Tease: guys don't really tease..maybe give a little pickle tickle but not tease
Ever been Beaten up: not yet
Ever Shoplifted: no
How do you want to Die: hm. something quick but really outrageous, like stabbed in the brain from a random javelin thrower or something
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: mack daddy pimp, duh
What country would you most like to Visit: i want to go back to norway
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: blue
Favourite Hair Color: black or brown...red is evil
Short or Long Hair: either, middle of the back is the longest i go usually
Height: i've always dated short girls, don't know why
Weight: proportional to height
Best Clothing Style: ghetto hoochy big booty ho style, of course
Number of Drugs I have taken: none
Number of CDs I own: i dunno, a lot
Number of Piercings: none, dont want any
Number of Tattoos: none, dont want any
Number of things in my Past I Regret: 4.3
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!
Music:
You know how everyone says "I like everything!". Well I do, for the most part. Hardcore "Suck me, Bitches" rap is annoying to me. Just don't relate. I can listen to it if its funny and I can understand the words. I like rock from all generations, country from all generations, classical, not new age but instrumental stuff like piano music that isnt really classical...I dunno, I'm a music slut I guess.
Movies:
You've got to be kidding there are only 9,132 GREAT movies out there. Hrmph.
First and foremost, any and everything made by Christopher Guest. Which includes This Is Spinal Tap, Waiting for Guffman, Best in Show, A Mighty Wind, and For Your Consideration. That guy needs to stop being such a genius. Or not. Other films I like are Groundhog Day, Spaceballs, Love Song for Bobby Long, The Departed, Lost In Translation, Lawrence of Arabia, Jurassic Pork, erm, Park. Unforgiven, Forrest Gump, In Good Company, L.A. Confidential, Goonies, Heat, Collateral, King Kong, Sideways, Moonlight Mile, Gladiator, Rushmore, Napoleon, Election, JFK, 7even, Fight Club, Amelie, The Silence of the Lambs, Tom Hanks everything except that one where he looked like Colonel Sanders, Great Outdoors, Schindler's Fist, Real Genius, Top Secret!, Moulin Rouge, Das Boot, Top Gun, Tombstone (I'm your Huckleberry.), Dances With Wolves, The Hebrew Hammer....alright I'm done with this. you get the point. i have good taste.
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Television:
Lost, 24, The Shield, The Unit, Invasion before idiots at ABC yanked it. I'll give them something to yank, the Jackholes. Um. That's it. OH. Modern Marvels, Dirty Jobs and Mythbusters. Rock on wit' yo' bad selves. I met this dude at a bar this last St. Paddy's day in a bar in Tigard, Oregon and tell me he doesn't look freakishly similar to the beret-wearing member of the Mythbusters duo:
Books:
The Illuminatus! Trilogy, Brief History of Time, The Elegant Universe, Empire Falls, The Corrections, any Steinbeck to include East of Eden and The Red Pony, Congo, Jurrasic Park, The Stand, Memnoch the Devil, The Crimson Petal and the White, anything by Robert Jordan, Michael Crichton and Stephen King. yep. Pretty much the best literature of all time...ever.
Heroes:
whatever pencil-necked freakshow advertising think tank dude that came up with Bud Light Presents: Real Men of Genius. Ron White's the man, as well. Of course we can't leave off Christopher Guest.
