**Perfect In Weakness** profile picture

**Perfect In Weakness**

How many times will I go and take the bait only for this hook to rip right through my face

About Me

Profile Edited by MSJoint MySpace EditorI feel the shame. I'm not insane. The things I feel now. Arent the same. Who gives a fuck.. If my life sucks? I just know one day. I won't give up.I fuck you because you're famous. I fuck you for your money. I fuck you to control you. I fuck you so someday I can have half of everything you own. I fuck you to fuck you over. I fuck you 'til I find someone better. I fuck you in secret. I fuck you because I can't remember if I already fucked you before. I fuck you out of boredom. I fuck you because I can't feel it anyway. I fuck you to make the pain go away.Fuck you because I loved you Fuck you for loving you too I don't need a reason to hate you the way I do. Fuck you because I loved you Fuck you for loving you too I don't need a reason to hate you the way I do. HATE YOU THE WAY I DO.I fuck you so I can feel something instead of nothing at all. I fuck you because you're beautiful. I fuck you because you're my nigger. I fuck you because I am your whore. I fuck you because you are a whore. I fuck you for fun. I fuck you for fun. I fuck you because I can. I fuck you so I have a place to stay. I fuck you so you will protect me.Fuck you because I loved you Fuck you for loving you too I don't need a reason to hate you the way I do Fuck you because I loved you Fuck you for loving you too I don't need a reason to hate you the way I do HATE YOU THE WAY I DO.

My Interests


Eh? I got bored...(for girls)
*Basics*
*Name: natalie *nat*
*Age: 17
*Gender: female
*Height: 5'9"
*Weight: 8st something
*Eye Color: blue green hazel gray
*Hair Color: natural blond *black*
*What Grade are you in?: year 13
*Name of your school?: brigwater college
*Nick Name(s): *fat*
*Birthday: 24/10/1988
*Sign: scorpio
*Location: wellington
*Siblings: nope
*Do You or Are You*
Do you drink [alcohol]?:: uh...kinda
Do you party a lot?:: nope....people scare me
Do you use drugs: um...i would if i could
Do you skip classes? How often?:: no...i get ema whoo!!
Do you have casual sex?: im not sure whether its casula or not :-/
Do you steal?:: sorta
Do you lie?:: no
Do you wear inappropriate clothing?:: hell yeah!!
Do you watch a lot of TV?:: not really
Do you ever watch the News?:: god no
Do you even care about world issues?:: yeah...to depressing to watch every day tho
Do you read books often?:: yup....mostly about child abuse
Are you failing a lot of your classes?:: no..well...1
Do you spend most of your time with your friends?:: yup
Do you smoke cigarettes?:: no...never!!!!
Do you hang out a lot in malls?:: fuk no
Do you cuss a lot?:: what does that mean??
Are you desperate to fit in?:: oh yeah...definitely lol
Are you intelligent?:: i think so...not sure
Do you spend a lot of time on your appearence?:: yeah...im a vain ugly person so i need to
Do you flip your hair when you talk, even if you don't realize it?:: no...i am not a chav
*Current*
Date:: 16-7-2006
Time: 3:30 pm
Clothes: not wearing any...havent got that far yet
Weather: is way too hot...we need thunder and lightning and rain...not this sunny shit
Footware: sockies
Mood: depressed and confused...but happy...i think
Currently Talking To: myself
Sounds: machinehead
*This or That*
dog or cat:: fish!!!!
short or long hair:: short
innie or outie:: innie...outies freak me out
sunshine or rain:: rain, thunder and lightning
moon or sun:: moon...full
basketball or football:: neither..they're both pointless and shit
righty or lefty:: lefty...
hugs or kisses:: both
tv or radio:: hmm...dunno...porn..sooo..tv
mcdonalds or burger king:: cant eat meat....
summer or winter:: winter
written letters or e-mails:: letters
playstation or nintendo:: playstation
car or motorcycle:: motorcycles
house party or club:: house party
sing or dance:: sing
yahoo messenger or ..: what??
freak or slow dance:: freak!!!!
*People*
Like anyone?:: yeah...it's depressing me lol
Known the longest of your friends:: not a clue
Name your best friend(s):: Sasha
Who's the loudest:: Sasha
Who's the shyest:: me
Who do you go to for advice:: no one...maybe sasha
Who do you cry with:: knowone...unintentionaly jordan a while ago
Nicest: holly
Smartest: tom
Meanest: sasha
Stupidest: sasha lol
Most Annoying: tom
Hyperest: lewis
Happiest: laura
Depressed: me
Shortest: beki...her heads at the same height as my tits...hmm....
Tallest: jordan
Most Fashionable: sasha...shes emo
Smells Best: uh....tom
Best Liar: sasha
Hottest: jordan
Sexiest: emily
Cutiest: greg
Best: sasha
Most Orginized: none of them
Least Orginized: all of them
*The Last*
Movie you rented:: constantine
Movie you Bought:: cherry falls
Song you Listened to:: machinehead...deafening silence
Song that was stuck in your head:: korn:daddy
CD you bought:: slipknot...subliminal versus
CD you listened to:: machinehead:supercharged
Person you've called:: nathan
Person that's called you:: tom
TV show you've watched:: some kids cartoon
Person you were thinking of:: hmm...
Time you cried:: about 3 days ago
time Cut your hair:: before download sometime
the last time you Hugged someone:: yesterday
the last time you kissed someone:: bout week ago
*Do...*
You have a bf or gf:: no :(
You have a crush on someone:: its not a crush...i'm not sure what it is...i don't understand it
You wish you could live somewhere else:: yeah...
You think about suicide:: yeah...
You believe in online dating:: wouldnt do it but dont care if anyone else does
Others find you attractive:: not really
You want more piercings:: fuk yeah...after having three removd im down to a pathetic 11
You drink:: liquid? yes
You do drugs:: maybe
You smoke:: no!!never!!
You like cleaning:: no...boring...unless someone buys me the pvc maids outfit i want and then i'll like cleaning alot...
You like roller coasters:: yup..they make me throw up
You write in cursive or print:: what does that mean?
*FOR OR AGAINST*
Long distance relationships:: neither
Using someone:: against....unless they want you to...i.e...sex
Teenage smoking:: dont care
Premarital sex:: for
Driving drunk:: against
Gay/lesbian relationship:: i want to be in one
*Favorite*
Food:: food hates me...i hate food
Song:: at the moment machinehead:deafening silence
Band:: Korn whoooo!!! i love korn loads and loads and loads!!!!!
TV show:: porn: a family business
Movie:: requiem for a dream
Color:: black....shut up sasha!!!!!
Thing to do:: caress skin
Thing to talk about:: sex
Sport:: sex
Drink:: white rum
Clothes:: black...i love my tutu...its black too
Holiday:: when im dead
Saying:: i hate you
*Think You are....*
Pretty:: nope....ugly yes
Funny:: nope
Hot:: nope
Friendly:: i guess
Amusing:: peo[ple laugh at me all the time so yeah...i guess :)
Ugly:: oh...yes
Loveable:: to much of a bitch for that me thinks
Pessimistic:: no...realistic
Optimistic:: kinda
Caring:: very
Sweet:: in the helpless child like way yeah
Dorky:: no
*Describe your...*
Wallet:: black wid a wierd zombie ting on it
Hairbrush:: dont own one
Toothbrush:: purple
Jewelry worn daily:: download band!!!! plastic star bracelet...a million shag bands and my pentagram
Pillow cover:: black
Blanket:: dont have one :(
Sunglasses:: non existent
Shoes:: new rocks...yay!! oh..and my kitty shoes and my all black dcs which im going to take to my grave
Handbag:: your fucking joking
Favorite top:: korn hoodie
Hair:: black and short with the sides shaved off
Make up:: black eyeliner with prurple eyeshadow done prettilly
*Who or What*
In my mouth:: my toungue
In my head:: my brain
Wishing:: i dont know...im confused
After this:: im gonna have another cigarette
If you could get away with it and murder anyone, who and for what reason:: noone...if theyd done something to make me want to murder them then id rather make them suffer for the rest of their life...death is just an escape
Person you wish you could see right now:: who i used to be
Is next to you::%3

I'd like to meet:

jonathan davis because HE IS GOD.....and that is fact!!!!!!!!! um......oh, and people who will cut me up and sell me to starvin children to eat cos if there wernt so many god damn people thered be enuf food for them wudnt there!! greedy fat bastards that we are lol. kisses xx just thinking about it and the starving children will not be able to afford to buy me so i have decided that they can eat me for free.....if anyone else wants a piece of me email me at: [email protected] ....thankyou for your support xx

Music:

korn slipknot slayer lamb of god children of bodom lacuna coil mindless self indulgence inme incubus marilyn manson machinehead stone sour dreseden dolls flyleaf coal chamber nirvana tool deftones coheed and cambria seether placebo 36 crazyfists etc etc etc

Movies:

i am totally inlove with requiem for a dream...it is the most amazing film ever and it inspires me which very few things do...i love disney films and think the guy was a genius...alice in wonderland is ofcourse my favourite...i love psychological thrillers like identity and all that stuff...donnie darko is amazing.....and queen of the damned is like the ultimate film as it has jonathan davis on vocals and stuart townsend as a vampire...what more could you ask for??!

Books:

i love manga like doll, chobits and love hina...the're my happy stuff...uh...i love books based on true events and own the little prisoner which is the only book that's ever made me cry...how the fuck can someone do that to a little girl?? uh...oh and bear the comic which is the funniest shit i've ever read!!! :) :) :)

Heroes:

the girl from the little prisoner...she was raped a number of times and had the shit beaten out of her every day from the age of 4 until she was in her early twenties...she lost everyting...and yet she had the courage to get the police involved and get the man that stole her childhood put in prison...even though it almost cost her her life...

My Blog

familiar breath of my old lies...

sometimes it seems too quiet into paralyzing silence, like the moon is dark, meant to make me strong, familiar breath of my old lies taste the color of my eyes soon you will perferate the fabric of th...
Posted by **Perfect In Weakness** on Fri, 08 Sep 2006 03:10:00 PST

i dont believe in the death penalty....but child abusers deserve everything they fucking get!!!

the song below is the only song i've ever listened to which makes me cry everytime...it's by korn...i watched jonathan davis(lead singer) perform this in the studio on video and i could see the pain i...
Posted by **Perfect In Weakness** on Thu, 07 Sep 2006 02:36:00 PST

i'd feel this pain forever if it means you're happy...

i woke up this morning, not myself and thoughts fill my mind of you with someone else all the pain i feel was caused by me but i'd feel this pain forever, if it means you're happy but i know i'll alwa...
Posted by **Perfect In Weakness** on Sun, 03 Sep 2006 02:06:00 PST

time to reveal what's in your heart...desolation, grief and agony...

Answer me, it can't be so hardCry to relieve what's in your heartDesolation, grief and agonyTrying to movedown in this graveTrying to believe in every faithAs another bridge to clarityWant to stay ano...
Posted by **Perfect In Weakness** on Wed, 30 Aug 2006 11:04:00 PST

i fukin love korn...tell it how it fukin is!!!!!!!!!!!!

Him!Here I am different in this normal world.Why did you tease me, make me feel absurd? Walking stereotypes, feeding their heads.I am ugly, please just go away.I can see its hard to find, this blessin...
Posted by **Perfect In Weakness** on Sat, 26 Aug 2006 11:30:00 PST

for all my friends...please read!!!! i love you xxx

i'd just like to say how much i love all my friends and how much respect i have for all of  you for being amazing and being there for me and showing me i'm worth more than some guy........i love ...
Posted by **Perfect In Weakness** on Sat, 26 Aug 2006 04:00:00 PST

**ignorance sublime**...poem by me...woooo!!!

eyes upon these scars, you watch them while they're weeping. seemingly scattered and worn, the silent screamings not sleeping.   blood on your hands and blood on your kiss, these are the things o...
Posted by **Perfect In Weakness** on Sun, 20 Aug 2006 10:40:00 PST

feeling really fucked off and hurt with noone to talk to so i'm writing it instead...

this is my own reply to the blog i posted about taking risks and how you learn from your mistakes........i took the risk on jordan and thought it was worth it and i take it back..it's not...i've ...
Posted by **Perfect In Weakness** on Fri, 18 Aug 2006 12:09:00 PST

my way of dealing with it...i love korn.... <3

This time I'm taking it away, I've got a problem With me getting in the way, not by my side So I take my face and bash it into a mirror I won't have to see the pain This state is elevating, as the hur...
Posted by **Perfect In Weakness** on Fri, 18 Aug 2006 12:50:00 PST

wouldn't it be great if it worked like that in real life....

can you see the love that someone holds for you? and what for you they would do? when they would die for you, cry for you and with you, and be there at your side just so, for one more time, they could...
Posted by **Perfect In Weakness** on Thu, 17 Aug 2006 07:50:00 PST