joel profile picture

joel

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me

I'd like to remember Lilly and Rebecca, my two daughters. They were not even born yet and we had become so attached. On December 1st the doctor who had taken care of my wife pronounced them deceased and performed the operation to remove them. Apparently, My wife got to hold the babies, but I never got the chance with the school's rules on sign-outs and the persistent class schedule. I still wonder every day what their beautiful faces might look like, how they might act, what they might be doing right now. I cry frequently at the thought that We lost twin children at 5 months. I also think about all the times we tried and thought we had a chance of a baby, only to find that chance dashed by a pregnancy test or a doctor who said it was too late to do anything about what might have been a pregnancy. I hurt so badly that I took it out on people and I wish I could take it back, but what's wishing to reality. Loss and LInda seem to be the only constants in my life right now. May God protect our children and kiss our children on the forehead for me until I have the chance to do that myself because until I do I'll hurt more and more with each day when I remember my children. Still I wonder why God kills the innocent only to let the stupid and sinful live. I myself think the real saints are those that die before they are born and that God did this so they could be our pastors in the afterlife or something like that.
Myspace Layouts

My Interests

I'd like to meet:


The Keys to Your Heart
You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are flexible and ready for anything!

You would be forced to break up with someone who was arrogant, acting like the dictator of your life.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered. What Are The Keys To Your Heart?
Your Eyes Should Be Blue
Your eyes reflect: Innocence and sweetness

What's hidden behind your eyes: A calculating mind What Color Should Your Eyes Be?
Your Five Factor Personality Profile
Extroversion:

You have medium extroversion.
You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party.
Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences.
But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time."

Conscientiousness:

You have high conscientiousness.
Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life.
Most things in your life are organized and planned well.
But you borderline on being a total perfectionist.

Agreeableness:

You have high agreeableness.
You are easy to get along with, and you value harmony highly.
Helpful and generous, you are willing to compromise with almost anyone.
You give people the benefit of the doubt and don't mind giving someone a second chance.

Neuroticism:

You have high neuroticism.
It's easy for you to feel shaken, worried, or depressed.
You often worry, and your worries prevent you from living life fully.
You tend to be emotionally reactive and moody. Your either flying very high or feeling very low.

Openness to experience:

Your openness to new experiences is medium.
You are generally broad minded when it come to new things.
But if something crosses a moral line, there's no way you'll approve of it.
You are suspicious of anything too wacky, though you do still consider creativity a virtue. The Five Factor Personality Test
You Should Be A Virgo
What's good about you: you have a quiet determination and aren't swayed by emotions

What's bad about you: you are an insane perfectionist and easily find faults in others

In love: you are obsessed with making your partner happy

In friendship, you're: helpful and giving - eager to be a true friend

Your ideal job: poet, flight attendant, or natural healer

Your sense of fashion: casual, upscale, revealing, conservative - you look good in all of it

You like to pig out on: a well prepared five course meal What Sign Should You Be?
You Are 34% Evil
A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well.
In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil. How Evil Are You?
Your Five Variable Love Profile
Propensity for Monogamy:

Your propensity for monogamy is medium.
In general, you prefer to have only one love interest.
But it's hard for you to stay devoted for too long!
There's too much eye candy to keep you from wandering.

Experience Level:

Your experience level is high.
You've loved, lost, and loved again.
You have had a wide range of love experiences.
And when the real thing comes along, you know it!

Dominance:

Your dominance is high.
It's your way or the highway when it comes to love.
You like to be very involved in your sweetie's life.
No question, you like to be the one calling the shots.

Cynicism:

Your cynicism is low.
You are an eternal optimist when it comes to love and romance.
No matter how many times you've been hurt - you're never bitter.
You believe in one true love, your perfect soulmate.
And if you haven't found true love yet, you know you will soon.

Independence:

Your independence is high.
You don't need to be in love, and sometimes you don't even want love.
Having your own life is very important for you...
Even more important than having a relationship. The Five Variable Love Test
Your Love Life Secrets Are
Looking back on your life, you will have a few true loves.

You've been deeply wounded in the past, and you're still recovering from that hurt.

It's important to you that your lover is very attractive. You like to have someone to show off.

In fights, you love to debate and defend yourself. You logic prevails - or at least you'd like to think so.

Getting over a break-up doesn't take long. Easy come, easy go. Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed
You Are Mud Pie
You're the perfect combo of flavor and depth
Those who like you give into their impulses What Kind of Pie Are You?
Your Japanese Name Is...
Kisho Minase What's your Japanese Name?
Your Ideal Relationship is Marriage
You've dated enough to know what you want.
And that's marriage - with the right person.
You're serious about settling down some time soon.
Even if you haven't met the person you want to get hitched to! What's Your Ideal Relationship?
Your Heart Is Blue
Love is a doing word for you. You know it's love when you treat each other well.
You are a giving lover, but you don't give too much. You expect something in return.

Your flirting style: Friendly

Your lucky first date: Lunch at an outdoor cafe

Your dream lover: Is both generous and selfish

What you bring to relationships: Loyalty What Color Heart Do You Have?

You're a Shy Kisser
You *do* love to kiss, once your comfortable with it
And that means knowing the person you're kissing pretty well
You usually don't make the first move when it comes to making out
But you've got plenty of intensity in return What Kind of Kisser Are You?
How You Are In Love
You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time.

You give and take equally in relationships.

You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.

You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.

You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard. How Are You In Love? People with whom I may hang out and talk.

My Blog

im a dick

ok i am a freak of nature....i am the biggest dick alive...i enjoy hurting my wife that is why she is divorcing me and i deserve it i auctally diserve more but that is why i am hurting now
Posted by on Sat, 02 Sep 2006 12:19:00 GMT

what hurts the most

My life was not the easiest these last months.  First there was no help from my wife, who decided that my yelling was enough. That yelling was caused by an immense amount of pent up emotion. ...
Posted by on Mon, 12 Jun 2006 16:03:00 GMT

why is it the symbolism?

My dreams always seem to come true or have some symbolism in it that causes me to think.  Mostly, the dreams stir up more emotions and now I'm to the point where I can't amend my emotions' effect...
Posted by on Wed, 07 Jun 2006 23:12:00 GMT

What a let down?

McDonald's restaurant was my first real, get paid, kinda job.  Subsequently, my second is the NAVY; well, guess what the work idea is the same: Uniforms, perserverance, zeal, courtesy, respect, h...
Posted by on Mon, 05 Jun 2006 23:40:00 GMT

graduation

Well, the big day has come.  The letdown of a lifetime, all the hype to graduate from high school.  Now, it is over, done with.  This means I get to start working, again.  This day...
Posted by on Sun, 04 Jun 2006 09:25:00 GMT

how weary of quarreling i become

People always seem to wanna fight.  I don't know why.  I wish they would stop though.  Personally, I now see no point in getting angry so someone else can capitalize on your stupid...
Posted by on Thu, 01 Jun 2006 01:38:00 GMT

bowl of cherries

Sometimes life is a bowl of cherries and sometimes the cherries get rotten.  Got any comments?
Posted by on Wed, 31 May 2006 00:41:00 GMT

The truest to my heart

How can beauty be described; But in a glorious breeze; The day we all see; What about the fair complexion in these;     The only beauty I see when I look toward Linda is her glea'; The lovel...
Posted by on Sat, 29 Apr 2006 17:20:00 GMT

*~~GEMINI~~*

POST YOUR ZODIAC SIGN OR YOU WILL GET BAD LUCK!!!!>CANCER>Great Kisser.>Very high sex appeal.>Great in bed ...>Most horny.>Love is one of a kind.>Very romantic.>Most caring person you will ever meet!>...
Posted by on Tue, 25 Apr 2006 23:36:00 GMT

A dozen roses for my sweetheart

I swear these things by God: Never to yell again, never to cuss again, never to stop loving, never to give up, never to drink ever again, and especially never to dishonor anyone. I've seen it happen, ...
Posted by on Mon, 24 Apr 2006 15:46:00 GMT