About Me
323 Reasons you should talk to me or hangout with me:
0. my best friend is the best ever.
1. I give good back rubs.
2. I have not been indicted in the Whitewater hearings.
3. I'm a good listener.
4. It's more fun than hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
5. I have never broken into a bear's home and eaten all his porridge.
6. I have no communicable diseases.
7. You might actually enjoy it.
8. I always resist the urge to poke sharp objects into my ear on the first date.
9. I didn't shoot J.R.
10. I am persistent.
11. As of yet, I have never overlooked the importance of regular, continuous breathing.
12. I can usually eat spaghetti without getting sauce on my shirt.
13. I have never pulled the football away from Charlie Brown
14. My shoelaces are hardly ever untied.
15. I only tie men up and spank them when they ask me to.
16. The rumors of my involvement in the Chernobyl crisis are mostly unfounded.
17. I can, at the touch of a button, have a pizza delivered to me in 30 minutes or less.
18. Dogs seem to like me.
19. I don't cry over spilled milk.
20. I give foot rubs when asked.
21. I have never locked myself in a car.
22. I would never smoke nor drink while pregnant.
23. I'm really a nice person once you get to know me.
24. Would you want to be known throughout history as "the one who let *Paige Graves* get away"?
25. I like to fly kites.
26. I am not an alien from another dimension bent on world domination.
27. I seldom pick a fight with inanimate objects.
28. I believe that every person has the potential to become great.
29. I played no part in the Cuban Missile Crisis.
30. I feel that reading a good book is an excellent way to spend time.
31. I won't bore you by talking about my stamp collection.
32. Unlike Vincent van Gogh, I would never cut off my ear for anyone, unless your real special
33. I always remember to use pixie dust when attempting to jump out of a window and fly.
34. I change my toothbrush when the blue color-bristles go away.
35. You'll forever wonder what you're missing if you don't date me.
36. I am a foreign kid.
37. I'm not *that* much of an eyesore.
38. I take a bath at least once a day.
39. I have not been proven to cause holes in the ozone Layer.
40. I'm housebroken.
41. I have been told that I'm good in bed.(since i'm a virgin,sarcasm kills)
42. As hard as it may to believe, I have never lost a pole-vault competition.
43. I have never hit a silver-medallist in the knee with a club.
44. Stop judging by mere appearances, and make a right judgment. (John 7:24 NIV)
45. I don't wear white shoes after Labor Day.
46. I don't turn into a werewolf during a full moon.
47. I seldom eat crackers in bed.
48. I am usually able to find Waldo.
49. I am heterosexual.
50. I have never committed a violent crime.
51. My teddy bear wants to meet you.
52. To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. (Ecc. 3:1 KJV) Therefore, you will eventually go out with me. *smile*
53. You haven't had a sufficient dose of strangeness in your life.
54. I am excellent at compiling purposeless lists.
55. The possibility exists that I am more fun in person than via computer.
56. I have never gotten into a tug-of-war with a marine platoon.
57. I am a better conversationalist than Generalissimo Francisco Franco.
58. I have never landed a light aircraft on the Whitehouse lawn.
59. Nor have I landed a light aircraft near the Kremlin.
60. I believe the rabbit should be given some Trix.
61. I hardly ever slurp when drinking soup.
62. I have never opened fire on a group of unarmed people.
63. If you don't like it, I promise to give you a full refund.
64. Nobody can heat up a TV dinner better than I can.
65. I don't use "pet names" for body parts.
66. I do my own laundry.
67. So far, I have managed to not decapitate myself.
68. The voices in my head told me you would like me.
69. My toothpaste has been shown to be an effective decay preventive dentifrice that can be of significant value when used as directed in a conscientiously applied program of oral hygiene and regular professional care.
70. I do not drink and drive. (At least not alcohol. Dr. Pepper, maybe.)
71. You'll never get a collect call from me.
72. It will be a life-enriching experience.
73. I have never been captain of, nor been aboard the Exxon Valdez.
74. My psychic friends said you will.
75. There is a refreshing absence of monsters under my bed lately.
76. I have never caused a bunny to tear the buttons off his jacket while he was trying to escape from my garden.
77. You've probably heard every line in the book... So, what's one more?
78. I would give up my appendix for the right girl.
79. My blender has never had a frog in it.
80. There's no compelling reason why you shouldn't.
81. No tyrannical system of government is named after me.
82. I can change a flat tire while wearing a skirt and heels."don't ask...lol"
83. I have never passed out on any world leader's front lawn.
84. I'm smarter than the average bear.
85. I promise to spend very little of our time together staring at other men.
86. Just do it!
87. I recycle my aluminum cans.
88. I am anxious to find someone to share my hopes, dreams, and wishes with.
89. I can put a flea collar on a cat without getting bitten.
90. I seldom get my teeth stuck together when eating a Jolly Rancher candy.
91. I'm getting fewer and fewer "ice-cream headaches".
92. I am trustworthy. (re: Boy Scout Handbook - Scout Laws)
93. I am loyal. (re: Boy Scout Handbook - Scout Laws)
94. I am helpful. (re: Boy Scout Handbook - Scout Laws)
95. I am friendly. (re: Boy Scout Handbook - Scout Laws)
96. I have never chopped down a truffula tree in order to knit a thneed.
97. I had no part in the extinction of either the dodo or the passenger pigeon.
98. I have never yelled "Fire!" in a crowded theatre.
99. I am courteous.
100. I am kind.
101. I am obedient.
102. I am cheerful.
103. It's more fun than doing your income taxes.
104. I understand the difference between their, there, and they're.
105. I am thrifty.
106. I am brave.
107. I am clean.
108. I am reverent.
109. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.
110. I'll supply the chocolate chip cookies.
111. I have never gambled away a girlfriend in Las Vegas.
112. I have no plans to give the Pope a wedgie.
113. I have never been a telemarketer.
114. I have never put a red shirt in with the whites.
115. I am faster than an unfired bullet.
116. I can leap tall housecats in a single bound.
117. I am gainfully employed.
118. I have never been involved in the shipment of plutonium to Germany.
119. I check the expiration date on my milk carton.
120. You know in your heart that it's the right thing to do.
121. I have never caused a traffic accident because I was fixing my makeup.
122. I usually remember to take the shell off an egg before eating it.
123. I have gotten to the Tootsie-roll center of a Tootsie-Pop without biting.
124. We are of opposite genders in the same species.
125. Extensive research has proven that I am, indeed, a carbon based life form.
126. I have never smuggled tinkertoys onto an international flight.
127. I can have it my way at Burger King.
128. I'm no worse than most other men, and maybe better than some.
129. It would make me smile.
130. It might make you smile too.
131. I subscribe to the theory that the world is round.
132. I know the capital of New York.
133. I usually answer my pages in 30 minutes or less.
134. I have a pulse.
135. I change the batteries in my smoke alarms at least yearly.
136. I make a concentrated effort not to spit when I talk.
137. I support public radio.
138. I always shave my legs before a social occasion......uhhhhh????
139. I rarely try to use expired coupons at the grocery store.
140. I seldom keep a library book past the due date.
141. I always drown my campfires before leaving the campsite.
142. Rarely do I take candy from strangers.
143. I never ring doorbells and run away before they answer.
144. Rarely do I eat paste between meals.
145. I have not wet my bed for at least two weeks now.
146. I keep my fingernails clean and trimmed.
147. I seldom pick up hitch-hikers.
148. There are few things in life more important than friends.
149. I know how to perform the Heimlich Maneuver.
150. I have never been used as a human sacrifice."the virgin thing will get me sometime"
151. I close the cover before striking a safety match.
152. I have never stopped to think and forgotten to start again.
153. I am cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
154. The part I played in the bombing of Hiroshima is largely exaggerated.
155. I'm sexy.
156. I have read and understand copyright law.
157. I'm growing older, but not growing up.
158. I never pile up old magazines or newspapers where they could be a fire hazard.
159. Never have I failed a quest given me by a King.
160. I rarely stand on a swivel chair to reach a high shelf.
161. The police have never considered me to be a large african american man.
162. I was not involved in the Holocaust.
163. I'm prettier than Elvis.
164. I watch closely when stepping onto an escalator.
165. It is increasingly rare that I place fake artifacts in an archeological dig.
166. I have not yet capsized a canoe.
167. I have never collapsed while running the Boston Marathon.
168. I am fully functional.
169. I try to help the sane adjust to reality.
170. I am not responsible for the misuse of gravity.
171. Math and alcohol don't mix, so I never drink and derive.
172. I "Just Say No" to drugs.
173. I practice random kindness.
174. I am not anorexic.
175. A cheap thrill is still a thrill.
176. There aren't enough scoundrels in your life.
177. I am understanding.
178. I'm an accomplice at sneaking snacks into movies.
179. I always make sure I have sufficient personal flotation devices aboard any pleasure boat I am using.
180. Occasionally, I have been known to have a clue.
181. I am flexible.
182. I have smoke detectors in my apartment.
183. Try it, you'll *like* it.
184. When getting off an elevator at a 20 story building, I don't push all the buttons so everyone has to stop at every floor
185. I have never attempted to pull a rabbit out of a hat and gotten a lion instead.
186. Rarely have I torn the tags off my pillows.
187. I am weird enough for most purposes.
188. I'm not easy, but we can discuss it.
189. I don't *just* want to grope your body.
190. I rarely dispose of alkaline batteries in a fire.
191. I will never have you kidnapped.
192. There is no proof of my being involved in Hitler's rise to power.
193. Take me now. There will be plenty of time for normal people later.
194. Rarely do flashing lights mesmerize me for more than 10 minutes.
195. I have never tried to pick up men in a city park.
196. When choosing between two evils, I always try to pick the one I've never done.
197. I lift heavy objects with a straight back and my knees bent.
198. I have been able to correctly answer 5 of 5 questions on the McDonalds Disney trivia Challenge.
199. Thor thinks you should.
200. Zeus agrees with him.
201. I seldom turn the volume on my stereo up sufficiently to shake the neighbors' walls.
202. I have never been responsible for starting a war, or even a border dispute.
203. I do not suffer from lockjaw (foot-in-mouth disease is another matter).
204. I have never played a mean trick on Smokey the Bear.
205. It only seems kinky the first time.
206. I have never made an obscene phone call to Hillary Clinton (or Bill, either).
207. Not even once have I scraped my vegetables onto my grandmother's plate when no one was looking.
208. I will administer chocolate whenever you feel the need.
209. As far as I know, I don't snore. (At least, I've never heard myself doing so).
210. You need to take a walk on the wild side.
211. I rarely stare directly at the sun.
212. I'm willing to supply cold milk, warm backrubs, and hot baths. In other words: all temperature cheer.
213. I hated Barney before it was cool.
214. I'm the best there is at what I do.
215. I only pursue the best.
216. I'll try anything 4 or 5 times. It may be an acquired taste.
217. I'm not really obnoxious, just tact-impaired.
218. I don't play records backwards and pretend to hear satanic messages.
219. I am smarter than a computer. I can count past 1.
220. I have an imagination, and I don't mind using it.
221. I have never been responsible for, nor participated in, an arranged marriage.
222. I occasionally stumble across the truth.
223. I have never used a motor vehicle to create an additional opening in a building
224. I have dropped buttered bread and had it land butter-side-up on the floor.
225. My face has never appeared on an FBI wanted poster.
226. I have seldom flashed a roomful of people.since i have yet to do so
227. I make my bed at least 50% the time.
228. I don't let friends drive drunk.
229. I have discount cards at three major bookstores.
230. You intrigue me.
231. I only *look* innocent.
232. I have never gone trolling for opossums.
233. When I jump into the air, I always remember to come down again.
234. I'm nobody's fool. If you would like me to be yours, just say so.
235. I am new and improved.
236. I have never exceeded the speed limit by more than 4 times.
237. I occasionally practice senseless acts of beauty.
238. I have never put sugar in a car's gas tank.
239. I'll respect you in the morning.
240. I have never stuffed a ballot box.
241. I have scanned my PC for viruses.
242. I rarely black out for more than a few seconds
243. I try not to make a habit out of wrecking marriages.
244. I try to never take myself too seriously.
245. I never met a piece of chocolate I didn't like.
246. I usually remember to wear shoes.
247. I have never stepped in a bear trap.
248. I have very little trouble remembering where I live.
249. There is seldom any doubt that I am human.
250. Some people have children to buy toys. I feel it's cheaper and more dignified to cut out the middleman and buy toys for myself.
251. I yield to temptation.
252. I know the difference between a bumblebee and a honeybee.
253. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
254. I'm all-natural, no artificial colors or flavors.
255. I have never tried to out-stubborn a cat.
256. I am usually on time for work.
257. I drive an American-made vehicle.
258. I have never placed a bet with Pete Rose.
259. I am the culmination of millions of years of random mutations.
260. I have never played leapfrog with a unicorn.
261. I am not, nor have I ever been, an attorney.
262. I have had all my shots.
263. I'm unique.
264. I have never attempted to run down a skier with a power boat.
265. My life is no more complicated than any cast member on Melrose Place.
266. I have impeccable taste in music.
267. I know the difference between a woofer, a midrange and a tweeter.
268. I did not mastermind Julius Caesar's death; that was Cassius.
269. Though this be madness, yet there's method in it.
270. I have never been responsible for causing an avalanche.
271. I seldom ask a man to remove his clothes in public???????
272. I always proofread carefully to see if I any words out.
273. My Rolling Stones albums have no moss on them.
274. I'm trying to commit suicide by sexual overdose and I need your help.but we haved to get hitched first thats the only string
275. It's been over a year since I last got my neck tangled in a telephone cord
276. I have never poured soap into a swimming pool or fountain.
277. I am (maybe too) open and honest in my relationships.
278. I have never been struck by lightning while simultaneously being hit by a falling meteorite
279. I'm user-friendly.
280. I have never resorted to cannabalism.
281. I have made mistakes, but I'm a stronger person because of it.
282. I have never pretended to be an Egyptian deity.
283. I often manage to sleep through the night.
284. I deny reality whenever possible.
285. I always try to do things in chronological order; it's less confusing that way.
286. I am sensitive.
287. If you don't, you'll feel bad about it in the morning.
288. I am not a totally unprincipled rake.
289. I have never tried to float a Volkswagen.
290. I never put off until tomorrow what I can put off indefinitely.
291. I've been told that I'm generous to a fault.
292. I can often hold up my end of a conversation.
293. I have my own toothbrush.
294. I can take a lickin' and keep on tickin'.
295. I have never played an accordion in public.
296. I have never bred a new species of fruit fly.
297. I have never molded an obscene Jello salad.
298. I'm available.
299. Being in a minority, even a minority of one, does not make one insane.
300. I snatch kisses, and vice-versa.
301. I can usually open those pesky jar lids.
302. I am alive, occupying space, and exerting gravitational force.
303. I'm pretty good at logic problems.
304. I have not ever fallen off a mountain.
305. I refuse to play 'let's hide grandma's teeth'
306. I own my own body, but I share.
307. This reason intentionally left blank.
308. I'm not afraid to cry - admittedly it's usually when I hurt myself, but I can build on that.
309. I have vanishingly few homicidal tendencies.
310. You are falling madly in lust with me, you just haven't realized it yet.
311. I have never once burned an egg while trying to boil it.
312. I have never had sexual relations with Monica Lewinski.
313. I'm not related to Micheal Jackson.
314. I'm married to a girl named melissa but not really
315. if i was in love with a skull i'd be kissing the lipless.
316. I excel at badassery.
317. I reek of awesomeness.
318. When i'm scared i pray and all the bad things disapear.
319. I have friends you wanna meet.
320. "I have piercings you wanna see!!!!!" not really it's just a quote from tommy.
321. I've got my own box of cheerios.
322. I'm waiting for the most beautiful girl ever!!!!!!!
323. Your a silly rabbit for reading all of these.
324. i'm gonna make 100 hundred more of these and not tell you about it from the get go... muahahaha
325. that will take sometime....
326.i've read everything on the cool mineral water bottles.
327. sometimes i'll work untill i pass the f out.
328.i'm tyring to cut back on cursing... but am failing miserably.
329. even though i'm the coolest french guy you know i can't save you money on your car insurance.
330.i'm second rate to everybody... but man am i a blast.
331.i'm the slip and slide champion... when it's rocks and dirt, i went first.
332.i'm the best thing to happen since blow pops.
333.this is half of 666
334.i'm sporty
335.i still have a huge padlock on my pants cause the didn't take it off my pants when i was wisked away in an ambulance from work.
336. i'm textually active...
337.i've never found a live human in the trash.... (darn you tom hanks.)
338.someone in my house wears size 10.5 shoes... man they have small feet
339.you know what small feet mean right.... small soxs sillies.
340.i will have a studio apartment in new york.... you wanna come along.
341.i'm the only one who has prolly wondered if a cow laughs really hard will milk come out of it's nose....
342.i'm the only psychic who nows your name and doesn't need a phone and credit card number...
343.i'm the only one to complain about wal-mart prices..
344. i mean seriously if they are always lowering prices why isn't anything free yet....
345.if i have multiple personalities when i threaten to kill myself... is it a hostage situation??
