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Is Craig Electric?

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About Me


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DISCLAIMER - This page may contain strong language (unsuitable for children), unusual humour (unsuitable for some adults) and massive geekiness (unsuitable for everyone).
Craig is the son of both his parents.
Born a triangle back in the eighties he discovered golf shortly before his third birthday. He won every single tournament before splitting from his caddy at the age of four due to artistic differences.
After a brief spell in rehab Craig became an inventor; successful projects include the cheese press, potato, land rover discovery, steam locomotive and Trevor McDonald.
He is widely renowned for his two jazz-punk fused solo albums, both reaching critical acclaim throughout the music industry before he had even turned five. Continuing with his new direction in modern music he teamed up with fellow rockers the Manic Street Preachers for the writing of their third album.
Despite the gargantuan efforts of bassist Nicky Wire, 'Pythagorean Triplets' was deemed far too explicit for public release and was sent to the moon.
Craig released a statement in 1996, revealing that since he was fast approaching eight years old, he felt that he 'had come to a creative cul-de-sac' in his career and temporarily left the music industry to 'get his demon back'.
Many long months of silence followed, until he reappeared on our TV screens in the summer of 1998 with an update to his Trevor McDonald called Sir Trevor McDonald.
Craig then went on to co-present Channel 4's salvage squad with Suggs. The Queen, who was said to be an avid viewer of the programme, sent Craig half a dozen corgis. Not wishing to appear rude, Craig - who was allergic to the queen's bitches - gave them to Suggs, who had them all shot because they smelt of feathers.
At the end of Craig's TV career in 2000 he turned his hand to caravanning. With this came the love of dropping litter, burglary, tree-cutting and tax evasion.
He has since cleaned up his act, washing his shoes almost every day except tuesdays.
Craig is currently pretending to be a lawyer so that he can watch rich people pay him lots of money and get sent to prison anyway. He owns several maids, racehorses and his own vacuum cleaner.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

A big bear perhaps?
or maybe a nice girl?
perhaps both?

Music:

- Manics
- Bad Religion
- Rise Against
- Frank Turner
- Against Me!
- Dropkick Murphys
- David Bowie
- Me First and the Gimme Gimmes
- Patrick Wolf
- Greg Graffin
- Duffy
- James Dean Bradfield
- We Are Scientists
- T4 Project
- Million Dead
- Bloc Party
- Vampire Weekend

My Blog

Soliloquy

They never told us the reasonsWhy we fight away the vulturesJust gave me the means to make my wayAs a shallow slut of culture[Nothings what it seemsAnd they'll never steal my dreamsStand on a tower, a...
Posted by Is Craig Electric? on Tue, 11 Mar 2008 07:35:00 PST

Romance Is Dead! {2nd draft}

The Hollywood scenes left the scarsOf a dark worlds and secret livesAn inspector called, killed a mockingbirdAnd fed it to the lord of the fliesRomance is dead, long live murderWith all the chaos we l...
Posted by Is Craig Electric? on Sun, 25 Nov 2007 02:01:00 PST

Kero-Scene (another song by me)

You stand alone, in your bathroomlooking in the mirror, at what you aredeep questions, you can only assumeno time for answers, your a television starThe fans, they adore you no doubtYour looks are on ...
Posted by Is Craig Electric? on Wed, 19 Sep 2007 06:49:00 PST

Potato Conspiracy: New World Order

I was stunned by what the leader just said.  "Shake my very beliefs" sounded serious, my heart was racing, I was eager to hear more but at the same time I was angry.  What didn't I know?&nbs...
Posted by Is Craig Electric? on Mon, 20 Aug 2007 01:33:00 PST

The Potato Conspiracy: Day 12 -> ?

ok, so I must admit my absence from telling you all about my adventures may have led some to believe that my attack on the factory failed and consequentely, I am dead.   Well, you'll be happy to ...
Posted by Is Craig Electric? on Wed, 01 Aug 2007 11:58:00 PST

new song thing

Its always the sameAll the things you sayTo you, this is just a constant gameAnd you just want to win the dayI cant keep up no more, Im doneIve had enough of liesI need to see a different sunSo I need...
Posted by Is Craig Electric? on Wed, 28 Mar 2007 12:50:00 PST

Independance : new song

wrote another song, this ones called "independance", I really dont think this is good lol   life is just another novelbadly written by an amateursome are meant to groveland pray to his altar he c...
Posted by Is Craig Electric? on Thu, 18 Jan 2007 04:30:00 PST

another song

yeah another song I wrote ...   Oh, look into my eyesAnd tell me what you think of this EarthOh, look into my eyesAnd tell me what you think of this Earth Whats gonna happenWhen the water gets lo...
Posted by Is Craig Electric? on Sat, 13 Jan 2007 07:30:00 PST

my song

its called "save ourselves" i wrote ityour dreams lying shattered, our essence of youth,we all accept and join in the process that destroyed themhow do we justify this life?ungrateful, we cannot deny ...
Posted by Is Craig Electric? on Fri, 08 Dec 2006 08:57:00 PST

The Diary Of Craigs Social Outings (Pt 1: 10/10/06)

i got absolutely hammered, i cant remember how i got home at allall i remember is the smell of the smoke machine and the spice girls.I had at least (cos my memory is fuzzy) 6 bottles of carling and 6 ...
Posted by Is Craig Electric? on Tue, 10 Oct 2006 05:15:00 PST