Tom Cruise so I can slap the crap out of him. Hello! You were the coolest guy on earth about five years ago. What the hell happened? Paris Hilton so I can take her underwear shopping. Okay, we've all seen it, and it isn't that great. Put it away! Britney Spears so she wants to marry me and I can get my fifteen minutes of fame and a record deal. OJ Simpson, so I can show him how I'd kill him. The next kid who wants to shoot up his high school so I can teach him to stand up for himself and not be a crybaby.