Biscuit Crusher profile picture

Biscuit Crusher

About Me

I've recently decided that from now on I'm going to live in a cave, and then, when anyone asks me to do something, I'm going to have to say, "No, no, I can't, I'm strictly a caveman." It's a rule, cavemen can only do cavemen things, like live in caves and pretend their pirates and say "Aaargh!" and spend the rest of their time dreaming of the number two and nakedness. Anything beyond that is right out.
For some insight into cavemen and their cavemen thoughts, you may look it up under "Caveman" in the Encylopaedia. However, if you want to be a caveman looking it up is strictly off limits. Cavemen don't read books by definition, we just carry around our mysogyny clubs, our top hats and our useless passion.
Cavemen have dirty mouths that must be cleaned with soap, but cavemen gave up soap years ago. In that way we're like stray children who've outgrown baths and lost our parents.Also, My plan is to kiss you with every lip on my face, and then crush your biscuits. ... Home | Browse | Search | Invite | Film | Mail | Blog | Favorites | Forum | Groups | Events | Videos | Music | Comedy | Classifieds

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

an ungrateful good-for-nothing biscuit-eating son of a bitch. Either that or a heartless rascal who likes wearing knickerbockers, hoping one day to lead a trouser rebellion. Here's the question though, if you merely liked and didn't love wearing knickerbockers, you probably wouldn't be the person for the job, so i'm probably never going to meet this person, am I?Oh, I'd also like to meet a woman with little feet and a big cigar. That is a personal dream of mine.

My Blog

A revision

-The artist is enemy to all that is without form.-But everything has a form, so the artist is enemy of nothing. Or everything. Is he the enemy of form itself?-Oh no, in that case, the artist is the ...
Posted by on Sun, 15 Mar 2009 10:25:00 GMT

Is it alright to hit a woman with a club?

-There are many essential questions not meant to be answered. -Like what?-Like should you hit a woman with a baby? -Well do I have the baby or does she? -Well you do of course. -Then by all means, bab...
Posted by on Sun, 18 Jan 2009 15:42:00 GMT

you are probably a ninny, but maybe not

To be an artist is to be an enemy of all that is without form. It is to be like Narcissus fishing for his face in a moonless night. It is to be like Oedipus fucking his mother and thinking that he b...
Posted by on Mon, 28 Jan 2008 16:21:00 GMT

Don't worry, there is enough midnight for the both of us

Flickering Mothsand the nakedness of shadows.As the stars take their placeamong the elements i whisperinto your open mouthvowels that will never riselike balloons.
Posted by on Mon, 23 Jul 2007 20:19:00 GMT

...

Sometimes a wild, beautiful thing goes searching for a cage only to discover that the cage doesn't want it, and not only does the cage not want it, but the world doesn't want it either. If Aesop had ...
Posted by on Thu, 21 Jun 2007 16:00:00 GMT

Kaddish

When our eyes are hollowed out like the hands of beggars, holding no more than an image split at its seams, then someone we knew might say a prayer to an urn filled with petrified moonlight, with no o...
Posted by on Tue, 12 Jun 2007 13:55:00 GMT

Alone together

You are not the only onewaiting for an all-shattering momentto make you whole.
Posted by on Mon, 14 May 2007 16:50:00 GMT

A letter to a silly ass in eleven parts

1. Perhaps long ago, when you merely an embryo, an angel seized the night and hurled its stars into you.2. Then it rained, or perhaps these drops were an angel's tears. After all, birth is merely a d...
Posted by on Tue, 08 May 2007 13:49:00 GMT

Sillybilly, this has nothing to do with the algebra of tears

I have spent the day thinking of Cezanne in his landscape, before Mont San-Victoire, searching for, as he once said, the diamond zones of God, and his quiet war against the eternal city and its electr...
Posted by on Sat, 21 Apr 2007 23:00:00 GMT

Seeing

Without a doubt, no one knows how to see anymore, though this anymore can be deceiving, for it gives the impression that there was once a time when people could see, and knew what it was like to truly...
Posted by on Thu, 01 Mar 2007 21:11:00 GMT