AdrianAUTOPSY ™ [zoo kr3w]

I'd like to meet:

This is Part of Me
I believe everything happens for a reason.
I never regret anything because i know at one point that's what i really wanted.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you continue to believe lies until you learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart
so that even better things can fall together.

I'm helpful, impatient, and a really insecure.
I make mistakes, i am out of control,
and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst,
then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.

What Society has come to
We're Supposed to Share this World
What has society come to? Cities and towns are polluted. Population is growing fast rate. More and more Kids are getting more violence, sex, drugs, and committing more crimes and dropping out of school. What happened to what we had in the seventies? Where we could do pretty much what the fuck we wanted to and barley get in trouble for it? What happened to not giving a fuck to what someone really had to say to you and everyone just walks away smiling and doin nothing? Instead theres more and more laws and rules for shit we could get away with 50 years ago. Now in our modern day world, people get shut down, put out, and takin control of by peoples actions, looks, words, and force. In school a kid could be having a great day, and then one period another teacher yells out loud at the whole class, now that kid could be in the worse mood ever. Remarks from teachers students friends and family and even bosses and co-workers will bring someone down. No matter what or where you go. It will always happen. I say to all those people; shut the fuck up, move the fuck on. There's a lot of better people out there for you, you just gotta get off your sad emo fucked up ass and start making a difference with your life.

Music:

Confessions
Scream me your honest opinion.
Show me you're not all the same


01.01.08
I desperately want to be accepted

01.02.08
I am afraid of not winning this battle

01.03.08
I have a hard time with the concept of forgiving

01.04.08
I smile all the time because I don't know what else to do

01.05.08
My eating disorder is not the problem; it's the symptom of my real problems

01.06.08
Sometimes I just want you to listen, not talk, not interrupt, not offer advice or suggestions. Sometimes all I want is you to sit there and listen and to make me feel like I have been heard

01.07.08
Sometimes the weight of my sadness is bone-crushing, like the pressure of water down deep

01.08.08
At the start of the next day, before I even brush my teeth, I ask God to help me stop myself from hurting either myself or anyone around me

01.09.08
There are so many things I wish I could say

01.10.08
I sometimes need your help, but I'm not sure how to tell you this

01.11.08
I really do care about you, more than you could even imagine

01.12.08
I'm afraid to know myself and understand my feelings and wishes

01.13.08
Even when it doesn't look like it, I am trying, and I'm doing my best at the moment

01.14.08
Without this mask I don't really know who I am

01.15.08
I don't want you to give up on me

01.16.08
I am so incredibly mean to myself. I wouldn't talk to any other person on earth the way I talk to myself

01.17.08
I cry when no one is around

01.18.08
I want to make a difference in the world

01.19.08
I'm afraid to know myself and understand my feelings and wishes

01.20.08
I feel there's an empty hole in me

01.21.08
I have big dreams and wish that I believed enough to make them become a reality

01.22.08
I wish that I didn't hate myself but at the same time, I don't know how it would feel to like myself

01.23.08
I believe that everyone's flaws should be accepted and forgiven except for mine

01.24.08
I love her more than I show

01.25.08
I feel nothing most of the time and I wait to see your reactions before I know how to respond/reply/react myself

01.26.08
What you say sometimes hurts

01.27.08
For years, I longed for someone to know my secret, in the hope they'd stop the pain and stop me from hurting because I didn't care enough about myself to stop myself

01.28.08
I don't feel that I deserve your unconditional love

01.29.08
I need help believing in myself

01.30.08
I am scared to death because I don't know what to do with my life and I cannot cope without direction

01.31.08
I won't ever measure up to what I’m supposed to be

02.01.08
you're killing me....you're saving me

02.02.08
Pff. Stupid bitch

02.03.08
everything makes me think of her

02.04.08
she doesn't know how happy she really makes me.

02.05.08
Everything happens for a reason.

02.06.08
It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.

02.07.08
I think everyone should just help each other. Doesn't that just make sense?

02.08.08
Existentialism: A philosophy that emphasizes the uniqueness and isolation of the individual experience in a hostile or indifferent universe, regards human existence as unexplainable, and stresses freedom of choice and responsibility for the consequences of one's acts. That's your lesson for the day.

02.09.08
At some point, you have to make a decision: boundaries don't keep other people out, they fence you in. Life is messy; that's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines or you can live your life crossing them.

02.10.08
In the short of it all the rise becomes: fall victim to the circumstance and the fact that quite possibly you are defenseless.

02.11.08
in the middle of it all smile because there isn’t anything you'd rather do.

02.12.08
Sweet surrender set me free, I attend the wake nearly everyday, this is who you will come to be a martyr a mission a habitual victim.

02.13.08
Sweet surrender set me free, I attend the wake nearly everyday, this is who you will come to be a martyr a mission a habitual victim.

02.14.08
I have come to hate everything about the inns and outs of his face.

02.15.08
Then again it's nothing new, didn’t you already know? I don’t speak the language or how to sow, so pass me the pistol stop tounging the clip and laugh like you mean it when it all comes to an end.... it's not so bad... it's no so bad.

02.16.08
Difficulty is needed to succeed in life but it is ones own difficulty to pass through it and anothers to make it harder so the own persons difficulties come to the near extreme to fix their own difficulties to become a stronger person than only dealing with the difficulties from life's persons.

02.17.08
I'm Not Perfect, But This Is Me.

02.18.08
someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else.

02.19.08
You may try to share what's on your mind today yet could counteract a positive interaction by withholding something very important.

02.20.08
Secrets can get in the way, held either by you or by someone else.

02.21.08
If you don't have all the information, dig harder until you've unearthed everything you need to know.

02.22.08
The Truth hurts, but the Lies kill me.

02.23.08
im sick of this. i just want to scream. i dont understand. ive tried. i just wanna run.

02.24.08
i just want to make you proud.

02.25.08
im never gonna be good enough for you.

02.26.08
i cant pretend that everything is alright.

02.27.08
I stand tall for another fight.

02.28.08
Suffered through life, like angels, wings violently torn from their backs by those they have saved.. I'm empty and spiteful; all that I feel now is hate.

02.29.08
Hard work pays off in the long run.

03.01.08
growing tension between home and work, making it difficult for you to give your best effort.

03.02.08
Honesty and optimism are great, but they require your physical and emotional commitment to transform them into something tangible.

03.03.08
I've learned if I'm going through hell, I must keep going.

03.04.08
In order to Sin, you must have seen the Sin.

03.05.08
When time comes for all to fall, I fall by myself.

03.06.08
They tell us that suicide is the greatest piece of cowardice;...that suicide is wrong; when it is quite obvious that there is nothing in the world to which every man has a more unassailable title than to his own life and person.

03.07.08
He does not kill himself with deliberation but rather kills himself because of deliberation.

03.08.08
Depression is anger without enthusiasm.

03.09.08
You can't control one's emotions; however, you can control one's mind.

03.10.08
I’ll give my best shot holding onto what I've got.

03.11.08
We say all these words, we make all these promises, but are we to know, can we really make it last?

03.12.08
I’ll cut open my vocal chords, if I have any more memories.

03.13.08

These promises are nothing but fading dreams.

03.14.08
I'm lying to myself and this dagger's my excuse.

03.15.08
I want to fid something I've wanted all along.

03.16.08
But all the Vacancy the word revealed, is the only real thing that I've got left to feel.

03.17.08
I can't pretend I'm who you want me to be.

03.18.08
I protect you out of courtesy.

03.19.08
Turn your back like you always do.

03.20.08
See me crumble and fall on my face.

03.21.08
There's always tomorrow.

03.22.08
Please go away you make me feel guilty.

03.23.08

Don't fast forward through life, its the only one you'll ever get.

03.24.08
I don't want to be one of her little secrets.

03.25.08
So lonely is the night, without you to hold me tight.

03.26.08
You are like a dream, that almost became reality.

03.27.08
We're playing games where we tag each other's hearts with our own insecurities.

03.28.08
And I picked the petals off the flowers to decide the fate; She loves me not.

03.29.08
For just this once, I'll take my chances.
03.30.08
Go ahead and tell me your lies again.

03.31.08
I'm missing you to death, but it's all for the best.

04.01.08
The smoking gun still sits in your pocket.

04.02.08
When i see you, it stings like hell.

03.03.08
When I leave here, I'm going alone.

03.04.08
The only time you'll notice me; is when I'm gone.

04.05.08
Don't pretend you've never seen me.

04.06.08
Take back every nice word you said, you never meant any of it.

04.07.08
My job isn't to break my heart, that's your job.

04.08.08
My eyes can't believe what they've seen.

04.09.08
I hold my head high while mending and stitching my heart.

04.10.08
I'm sick and tired of waiting.

04.11.08
Love me or leave me, r rip me apart.

04.12.08
I must abuse myself. I'm against all that you've made up.

04.13.08
Let it bleed and take the rd.

04.14.08
The wound is so deep that it can't even heal without being a scar.

04.15.08
This isn't over until you tell me why.

04.16.08
Yesterday's feelings will all be lost in time.

04.17.08
My eyes holding tight to try to hide how i feel.

04.18.08
Bound at every limb by my shackles of fear.

04.19.08
Sealed with lies through so many tears.

04.20.08
Lost from within, pursuing the end.

04.21.08
I fight for the chance to be lied to again.

04.22.08
I will never be strong enough.

04.23.08
I will never be good enough.

04.24.08
I was never conceived in love.

04.25.08
I'll struggle on and on to feed this hunger, burning deep inside of me.


04.26.08
I'm losing rhe war against myself.


04.27.08
You think it's funny to mess with my mind.

04.28.08
make mistakes and watch me suffer.

04.29.08
Rip me open, watch me bleed.

04.30.08
It will all work out in the end.

05.01.08
we'll meet face to face.

05.02.08
we'll meet face to face.

05.03.08
Don't let the world take the best of you.

05.04.08
This is our lives washed clean.

05.05.08
I don't know why I should forgive you.

05.06.08
This is redemption.

05.07.08
This is what we've become.

05.08.08
This will all come to an end.

05.09.08
Like the darkness that hides my past.

05.10.08
Like the knife you stuck into my back.

05.11.08
Because all of this seems too familiar.

05.12.08
I've lost you somewhere in forever.

05.13.08
Somehow I've found home again.

05.14.08
I might seem lifeless.

05.15.08
Help me pick up the pieces.

05.16.08
Close your eyes, it's okay to rest now.

Movies:

Truths Be Told
You classified my ass that
was a fucking secret and you know it.

The noise of the world is getting me caught up.
Chasing the clock and I wish I could stop it.
Just need to breathe, somebody please.
Slow me down.

I tried So hard, and got so far
i had to fall to lose it all

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever, forever worship you

I know There’ll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that’s what it takes to praise You
Jesus Bring the Rain

I am free
In ways that I never should be
Sweet release
From the grip of these chains

How ironic for a human heart
is meant to last a
Lifetime

Television:

Turn out the light
It's time to fight
Deep inside the silent night

Time to make it flood
It's the fluid of blood
With mixture of mud

Here I fought
Nothing but pain was brought
Proof of things i have ever taught

With this number one prime
Away went the time
Thought i was good, just fine.

Made this rhyme
Of the number one prime
That i have ever taught.
Left alone i fought
With me i brought
Fluid of blood,
Mixture of mud;
Made a flood.
Away with the light
Left alone to fight
Believing i was right
This lonely dark night.

Just this one time
I was everything, but fine.

Books:

Music = My Escape

Heroes:

LEXI jamie grandma coaches Trixie Foster mandy courtney Haley Brad Fletcher Brad Ford Brad Foytik Brett Babe Phil Corinne And most importantly All the TROOPS who fought and still are fighting in IRAQ AFGHANISTAN and everywhere else. If i left anyone out please tell me!!!!