DJ Tooth Decay profile picture

DJ Tooth Decay

I am here for Friends

About Me

I like the color magenta and long walks on the beach. I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently.Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants.I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller 'number nine' and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400.My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven.I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.But I have not yet gone to college. -Hugh Gallagher
You Are Kermit
Hi, ho! Lovable and friendly, you get along well with everyone you know.
You're a big thinker, and sometimes you over think life's problems.
Don't worry - everyone know's it's not easy being green.
Just remember, time's fun when you're having flies! The Muppet Personality Test
adopt your own virtual pet!

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My Interests

Arabian pastries, alarm clocks, pink hippos in my closet, AND those little things that Pizza Hut used to put in the middle of their pizzas.... you know.... they looked like they were little tables or something... 3 legs.... no? nothing? .... well... whatever

I'd like to meet:

The Smurfs, talking muffins, and Space Ghost. (Oh and a nice dish of flan.)

Music:

you know... songs with notes in them...

Movies:

Garden State, A Mighty Wind, Pink Flamingos, Spinal Tap, Big Fish, Boondock Saints, Cannibal! The Musical, Live! Tonight! Sold Out!, Hot Shots, Hot Shots Part Deux...

Television:

will kill you

Books:

The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy, The Complete Idiot's Guide to Complete Idiot Guides

Heroes:

Kurt Cobain, Krist Novoselic, John Lennon, James Mercer, Captain Planet, Mighty Mouse, The fruit on the bottom