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I am here for Dating, Serious Relationships, Friends and Networking

About Me

..99.9% of myself I hate. I also hate 99.9% of the world. 99.9% of this world is currently over-run by a bacteria known as human existence. Who to figure why? Who could care less? I really do not. The opposite of white is black and the opposite of up is obviously down. There is no “in-between”. 99.9% of all human-beings go throughout their life-span living the normal life of living and fucking. You have your .1% of the human nature who believe in the possibility of conspiracy and non-coincidences intertwined in interactions with a higher power consumed by faith. 99.9% of human beings will be born with questions and die with no answers. Living, fucking, and dying inside of a mind-fuck.Onto other things, about myself, nothing really to tell, I am as normal as you. I one time wanted to think that me being here, had some sort of special meaning. I wake up in the morning and go to work like most of everyone else. I gave up, I tried, but I gave up.I do not want you to think that I am some dick-head. I believe in treating people the way that you want to be treated. I try to meet people and give them a chance before I rule them out of interest. I was at one time a much nice and more sociable individual. I am not sure when everything changed but I am aware that it did.I mostly keep to myself, but I do have a small group of friends that like to associate with. I try to not get involved with big crowds, because of the tendency of getting myself into situations that I will eventually regret. I handle things almost in a child-like manner, hiding myself away until it is safe to come out.I honestly think that you can find beauty through darkness. It depends upon the design and appearance. You cannot really appreciate anything until you have lost everything. When you are mentally standing on one leg, you tend to find things a lot more feasible and understanding in its true nature. You accept the things that you once shied away from. The demons in us all become angels in the right lighting. You can rearrange shadows to change perception of all things.The mental glue that keeps me together is simply “music”. I love it. It is pretty much my life, really. I am not really into the whole “guitar rock” thing and I will go on-record to say that “80’s” mainstream music was possibly the worst noise to ever be produced in a recording studio.Plain, normal, common guitar rock is some what boring to me. How many different sounds can you possibly produce with just your basic guitar? I love manipulating sounds. It is the hobby that takes up the majority of my free-time. I stay glued to my computer changing various sounds and noises into useful keys of music that I make.I was inspired mainly by Trent Reznor of nine inch nails. The first album that I have heard that really made me think about music in a whole different way was the album “broken”. Up until that very moment, I was only introduced to music by your ordinary guitar rock that was found on mainstream radio and television everywhere. The combination of electronics and actual instrumentation is amazing. Nine inch nails pointed me into the direction but the music that I create was truly inspired by “throbbing gristle”, Experimental music at its best.Other than the last few paragraphs, I cannot think of anything else to say about myself, oh well.

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My Interests


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Get this widget | Track details | eSnips Social DNAi described that earlier not knowing that this field was going to be down here. lets see... i can tell you something i am really not interested in and that would be.........the ocean! i have this fear (even though i am an excellent swimmer)of being in a big body of water such as "an ocean". not because of the drowning part, i can cope with that, but the damn sharks and other creatures who would love nothing better to make my day even worse than it all ready is. i have never been to ocean nor do i plan on it. if i were to even dare think of jumping into that cool water a shark or a mutant of some kind would meet me in mid-air and swallow me whole. i know this....because i see it in my nightmares.

I'd like to meet:

I am not sure what this is actually asking. I am not in all really looking for love, I will let it find me when the time is right…Before I pass on to the next life, if there is one, I would like to meet these people in some form or another: Trent Reznor of nine inch nails, Genesis of Throbbing Gristle, William S. Burroughs, Tim Burton, Lewis Carroll, The Cheshire Cat, Juliet Hulme and Pauline Parker, Darren Aronofsky, Mark Romanek, Elizabeth Fraser, Hubert Shelby, Bret Easton Ellis, Lou Reed, Thom Yorke, Atticus Ross, Leonard Cohen, Spike Jonze, Charlie Kaufman, Lewis Black, David Cronenberg, Jan Svankmajer, Clint Mansell, And I am sure that there are others but too many for me to think of at once.

Music:

music with a soul and is not completely ruined by MTV. i mean really, who watches MTV for music anymore. it is sad when one channel can define a generation of idiots. its like all of a sudden the color pink came back into the picture and now everyone is wearing it as if it were the f***ing 80's all over again. even guys are wearing this god-foresaken color. everytime i see some guy walk around with a pink shirt that says "real men wear pink" or something of that degree, i want to rip his f***ing head off, put it on a f***ing stick, and stick it out on my front yard. no one is a leader anymore, but we have enough followers to shake a stick at. sheep. everybody has their own identity just most of them chose not to use it because they want to fit in and when they go home everyday... what do they do? they sit and cry because no one sees how wonderful they truely are because of how truely dull they have become. wow, i went from trying to talk about music and went to this... I would honestly have to say that music is about 95% of my life. There is not an hour that goes by without me listening to it throughout the day. I used to only strictly listen to industrial music consisting of combining sounds with actual instruments. Pioneers of this genre include Throbbing Gristle, Skinny Puppy, Kmfdm, Cabaret Voltaire, Psychic Tv, Pigface, Ministry, Nine Inch Nails, and many others. In the past few years my taste in music has broadened to many different genres such as folk, trip hop, and experimental. Here are some of my favorite groups along with highly recommended albums.*Nine Inch Nails: (easily one of the best and most Influential groups to ever have existed.) -The Downward Spiral -The Fragile -Broken -Still*Throbbing Gristle: (One of the originators of the Industrial music genre in the late 70s) -DOA: The Third And Final Report -The First Annual Report*Skinny Puppy: (Marilyn Manson easily ripped Off these guys live act.) -Last Rights -Brap: Vol 3-4 -VIVISect VI*Ministry: (pioneered Industrial Metal) -The Land of Rape and Honey -The Mind is a Terrible Thing to Taste -Psalm 69 -The Dark Side of The Spoon*The Smashing Pumpkins: (very mellow and Depressing at times) -Adore -Melon Collie and The Infinite Sadness*Massive Attack: (The best trip hop group With a combination of hip hop and dark Wave.) -Mezzanine -100th Window -Danny The Dog OST*Radiohead: (Very unusual group and one of the Most original. Besides NIN, they are my 2nd fav.) -Amnesiac -Kid A -Hail To The Thief*Tricky: (Pretty much one of the only black artist I Will listen to because of is combination of hip hop With unusual noise. Also a pioneer in trip hop and Very talented.) -Maxinquaye -Nearly God -Blowback*Rammstein: (what can I say about German Metal) -Mutter -Rosenrot*Psychic Tv: (Genesis put together this project after Throbbing gristle split. It is every bit the same Disturbance.) -Dreams Less Sweet*Pigface: (Very unusual project in which each song Produced never consists of the same line up.) -Notes From The Underground -Gub -Easy Listening for Difficult Fuckheads -Fook*Recoil: (The Best part of Depeche Mode left to Create this 10X better project which is a little Industrial and trip hop combined.) -Unsound Methods*Sparklehorse: (Very mellow and artistic) -It’s a Wonderful Life -Good morning Spider*The Tear Garden: (A side project combining the Talents of Skinny Puppy and the Legendary Pink Dots.) -Crystal Mass -To Be An Angel Blind, The Crippled Soul Divide*The Velvet Underground: (Do I really need to Explain?) -self titled album -peel slowly box set*12 Rounds: -My Big Hero*A Murder of Angels: (Highly Disturbing Soundscapes.) -In The Air -While You Sleep*Atari Teenage Riot: (Pioneers of the digital hardcore Music genre.) -60 Second Wipe Out -Burn Berlin Burn*Bjork: (awww sweet Bjork.) -Vespertine -Greates Hits -Homogenic*Danzig: (probably the only musician who scares Me. Sounds like Elvis but looks like a steroid Induced John Travolta.) -Black Acid Devil -Satans Child*Death In Vegas: (Very sweet and dark trip hop- Electronica all at one time) -Contino Sessions -Scorpio Rising*The Dresden Dolls: (Even more weird than Tori Amos.) -Self Titled album*Einsturzende Nuebauten: (Another great pioneer In the Industrial Genre really breaking down the Basics of actual noise.) -Ende Neu -Perpetuum Mobile -Silence is Sexy*Elbow: (Very mellow and beautiful indie music.) -Cast of Thousands -Asleep in the Back*The Flaming Lips: (C’mon, we have to have the Lips.) -Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots -Yoshimi Wins*KMFDM: (Another pioneer of Industrial.) -Attack -Symbols -Nihil -Hau Ruck*Leonard Cohen: (Truly the Man.) -Songs -Songs From a Room -The Future -Songs of Love and Hate*Marilyn Manson: (I admit to liking some of his Material.) -Antichrist Superstar*Mogwai: (another beautiful mellow group.) -Rock Action -Mr. Beast*Nancy Sinatra: (These Boots are made for..) -The Essentials*Nick Cave: (Very talented song writer.) -Murder Ballads -Nocturama -No More Shall We Part*Pig: (Former member of KMFDM. Actually The best part of KMFDM.) -Genuine American Monster -Wrecked -Sinsation*Portishead: (Very Gloomy trip hop. Amazing) -self titled album -live in Roseland

Movies:

I am a big movie person. I have a passion for films as long as they do not try marketing the movie on TNA. I hate watching previews of movies which their sole purpose is to show enough skin in order to get the stupid teeny bopper fan club into the theater.You know the kind… they are the groups of teens who think that standing in either a parking lot or the lobby of any place where there is any convenience of social gathering and talk extremely loud so that everybody around them will know how cool and awesome they are. Fuck them, I would love to shove a railroad spike through all of their foreheads and piss on them while they lay suffering. Anyway, like I said I do love movies and here are some of my favorite I love: *"The Tenant" (directed by Roman Polanski) 1976 Roman Polanski directs and stars in this thriller About a file clerk whose life becomes greatly Overrun by paranoia after moving into his new Home whose previous tenant tried to commit Suicide by jumping from the window. During His stay he becomes obsessed with the event Of his former tenant and mentally starts slipping Over the edge of sanity. Like Roman Polanski any many of his other films, His pace is quite slow but filled with complete Detail to get the viewers complete understanding Of the events taking place. As the movie picks up, You see the insanity of the main character to really Show. This is truly my number one favorite film.*"Rosemary’s Baby"(directed by Roman Polanski)1968 One of his earlier works about a couple who move Into an apartment in a building that is overrun with Conspiracy. As time moves on the wife becomes Pregnant with her first child but becomes worried Over the fate of her newborn because of suspicion Rising on the theory that her neighbors are indeed A cult and planned her baby to be the son of Satan Himself. Overall the movie is really well done and also at a Slow pace. The ending is something you would not Expect and also that really well taken into Acceptance. *"Being John Malchovich" (directed by Spike Jonze) 2000 John Cusack stars as a puppeteer who takes a job As job as a file clerk for a company on the 7 ½ Floor of a building. During one of his days at work He stumbles onto a portal that leads into the mind Of actor John Malchovich. Overall I love this film. It is very original in every Concept with great direction and wonderful acting On all parts.*"Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" (directed by Terry Gilliam) 1998 Johnny Depp Takes the lead as Raul Duke, a Journalist sent to Las Vegas to cover a racing event And gets caught up into the drug fueled frenzy Caused him by And his accomplice played by Benecio Del Toro. Excellent movie and personally I believe it is Mr. Depp’s best performance.*"other various movies": Snatch, 28 days later, Sin City, Eraserhead, Velvet Goldmine, Layer Cake, Death To Smoochy, Pulp Fiction, Clockwork Orange, and so on…..

Television:

not much of a television person: 01. family guy 02. arrested development 03. the oblongs 04. nip tuck

Books:

01. divine comedy 02. an underground education by richard zachs 03. the demon 04. women who kill

Heroes:

01. i would have to say my mother and father are number one. because without them allowing me to be the person i am now and never beating me for not doing satisfactory in school. they are the best understanding parents ever and i love them dearly. 02. my grandmother for always being there for me when ever i need her. 03. my friends for putting up with an oddball 04. the girl i lost my virginity to years ago because atleast by now i have an idea of what i am doing or i think so... 05. trent reznor of nine inch nails for creating the music that is the soundtrack to my life. 06. mark ryden for creating the art that surpasses anything i have ever seen. 07. GOD for being there everytime i needed some one to talk to 08. JESUS for obvious reason (i know that sounds bad, not intended that way) 09. the most important person in my life (you know who you are) 10. lewis black for his signature type of grouchy comedy ***these were in no particular order, just how they popped in my head

My Blog

July 21, 2007:

July 21, 2007:..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 6pm   I killed a rat once. I lived in a house that was not as reliable as most common homes. It had many fa...
Posted by a_forced_fixed_image on Mon, 23 Jul 2007 06:55:00 PST

2nd Entry of Diary of a Serial Killer

May 18, 2007:..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 7:56 PM   I was shopping all by my little lonesome at the corner store when an elderly woman made herself qu...
Posted by a_forced_fixed_image on Sat, 19 May 2007 05:39:00 PST

May 16 2007

May 16 2007..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 1:33am   I sometimes find myself in deep thought even in public to where the rest of the world seems not to ma...
Posted by a_forced_fixed_image on Mon, 23 Jul 2007 06:45:00 PST

001: 05/06/2007

001: 05/06/2007..:   What is there in an image that is presented to others when you feel the most secure? A safety side of you that is more vulnerable when left uncovered? When your composure ...
Posted by a_forced_fixed_image on Mon, 23 Jul 2007 06:26:00 PST