Andy - ProfilesArchive

About Me

"There are three types of people in the world: pussies, dicks and assholes. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes. But that's good because if somebody didn't do it, all the pussies would be covered in shit." - paraphrased from "Team America"

I'm a dick. I call it like I see it and I'm always right; take it or leave it. I'm a modern day Renaissance man, which means I do a lot of different things half-ass. I'm an extroverted introvert. I say everything in excess. Never put off 'til tomorrow what you can do the day afterwards. I'm a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-jeans kinda guy. I don't make plans, and I don't stress. I'm passionate about human intelligence and discussion. I'm a slave of reason, a sycophant of the mind, and a walking study in contradictions. I have zero tolerance for bullshit. I don't accept second class behavior from myself or others. And I refuse to be defined by a box.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

is people who don't like MySpace. Seriously, this place is ruining my life. I can't even go out in the real world anymore without MySpace coming up in conversation. Then you have to add her as your friend, or she'll get angry even though you don't really know her and in point of fact she's not your friend.

I remember when life was simple, when no one I had no chance of ever meeting in my life asked me to be her friend. Porn stars weren't constantly telling me how hot I am. No one sent messages that were allegedly to me, but actually everyone in the world could read about how I'm into golden showers. I could date more than one girl at the same time without them meeting, hooking up, and asking me to have a threesome with them. I didn't have to tell anyone who my favorite people are. My brother didn't know every minutiae of my life, and no one read about me more than five times a day.

I hate this place. Read up while you can because I'm deleting my account. Oh! A new friend request. Gotta go.

My Blog

This one's for the girls

You won't like me.Seriously. It'll be better for both of us if you stop reading right now. Or maybe just look at the picture, giggle to yourself, and move on.I mean, you'll always have fun with me; yo...
Posted by on Fri, 30 Nov 2007 10:05:00 GMT

Cats are like girls, and I love 'em.

I would like cats. I WANT to like cats. I mean, I like animals. Here's my problem: Say I'm sitting around on a lazy Sunday afternoon, sipping tea and crumpets. A cat happens by...
Posted by on Fri, 16 Mar 2007 13:46:00 GMT

How I rank love

My Top 8 is the device I use to tell the world how much I care about people. It is a constantly changing record of my eight favorite people ranked in order of importance. Whining about your po...
Posted by on Wed, 19 Apr 2006 22:54:00 GMT

How to bang your friends

Men and women can't be friends. Or they can, but they're not. Here's my anecdotal proof: I knew a hot chick once. I know, it's hard to believe, but don't worry, I don't know any anymore....
Posted by on Wed, 30 Nov 2005 15:16:00 GMT

On the rampant misuse of dots.

And other spelling, grammar and punctuation pet peeves of mine which no one else will find even remotely interesting. First of all, all Internet-speak is stupid. You will never convince me that ty...
Posted by on Wed, 30 Nov 2005 15:12:00 GMT