The Monarch profile picture

The Monarch

I am here for Serious Relationships and Networking

About Me

You're probably wondering why you're here. You're here because you done fucked up too many times! You think you're hot shit in a champagne glass, but you're really cold diarrhea in a Dixie cup. And if you keep up like you've been doing, this is where you're headed. Oh that's funny to you, right? Cause you're so fuckin' bad? I know your type. You think 'I'll just get me a costume, rip off the neighborhood kids'. Next thing you know, you've got a jet shaped like a skull with lasers on the front. What!? Ya think this is gay, hah? Is that what you fuckin' said you scrawny piece of shit? Oh this isn't gay. But King Gorilla over there is! And I bet he just can't wait to snap off a piece of your dick in his ass! Your name is bitch!! And I own you. You're property! And when I'm tired of having sex with every hole god drilled in your slender frame- King Gorilla! You got a cigarette? There. I just sold you for a cigarette. And I don't smoke! Holy shit! You're Dean fucking Venture! King, I gotta buy my bitch back. H-here's your cigarette.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Dr. Jonas Venture.

My Blog

Back in Black (and yellow)

Alright, after careful decision and many many many miserable emails from some very unwitting and verbally challenged individuals, I have decided you are all a bunch of weak useless creeps! So QUIT sen...
Posted by on Mon, 23 Oct 2006 06:42:00 GMT

Currently seeking to fill the position of the monarch

That's right, I'm leaving.  But I want someone to take over for me as the Monarch to continue the fight.  Yes I understand this ruins some of the romance but it must be done.  Requirem...
Posted by on Thu, 12 Oct 2006 20:42:00 GMT

Henchmen Wanted

Henching Illustrated ClassifiedsPost # 3445  Now Seeking Henchmen: to fill 83 posts immediately.    Are you the bully of your school?  Or even the victim of bullying?  Do...
Posted by on Mon, 28 Aug 2006 18:44:00 GMT

"hey good call on the WD40"

The Monarch said grudgingly.     I hope you all have forgotten about the recent bloodbath at the cocoon where I was forced to join forces with my arch enemy the Dr. Venture.  ...
Posted by on Mon, 21 Aug 2006 19:18:00 GMT

My Space Hacked

The Monarch is writing this so that the messages about the spam may cease.  Those of you who either didn't notice the disclaimer bulletin or came on board after this started, the Monarch's space ...
Posted by on Tue, 08 Aug 2006 13:26:00 GMT

Pardons

I am in a rare forgiving mood, pardons are issued for all.  I grow tired of coming up with new and ingenious ways of killing you all.  Besides, the insurance company is raising my premiums b...
Posted by on Wed, 02 Aug 2006 16:27:00 GMT

It's spelled C-O-C-O-O-N

Since so many of my henchman are apparently illiterate I thought I would take this time to educate the masses.  There is no A in cocoon.  Thank you that is all.  Wait.  What's this...
Posted by on Sun, 30 Jul 2006 05:31:00 GMT

Dead henchmen

#21 you are a dead man.  When I find you I will paint the walls with your insides.  I gave you the password to the good computer with strict instructions and on this simple task you have fai...
Posted by on Fri, 21 Jul 2006 08:50:00 GMT

The Monarch is Bored

Listen up, Fleas....The Monarch is bored.  We don't even get cable in this heap so I can't even watch my own show.  And where are my loving minions?  Hmmm?  I sit and rot in this d...
Posted by on Sun, 16 Apr 2006 19:20:00 GMT

My Henchman, A Call to Arms...Winged Arms!!!

Through the wonders of the internet my time is at hand.  The fools who incarcerate me grow complacent and the moment of my escape grows nigh.  Soon we will strike back against against our e...
Posted by on Mon, 27 Feb 2006 17:36:00 GMT