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Were a band for the millennium,
Digital and smoke free.
A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist,
Politically anatomically and ecologically incorrect.
We've been uplinked and downloaded.
We've been inputted and outsourced.
We know the upside of downsizing.
We know the downside of upgrading.
A high tech lowlife.
A cutting edge state-of-the-art bicoastal multitasker,
And We can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond.
Were new wave but were old school,
And our inner child is outward bound.
Were a hot wired heat seeking warm hearted cool customer,
Voice activated and biodegradable.
We interface from a database,
And our database is in cyberspace,
So Were interactive,
Were hyperactive,
And from time-to-time,
Were radioactive.
Behind the eight ball,
Ahead of the curve,
Riding the wave,
Dodging a bullet,
Pushing the envelope.
Were on point,
On task,
On message,
And off drugs.
We got no need for coke and speed,
We got no urge to binge and purge.
Were in the moment,
On the edge,
Over the top,
But under the radar.
A high concept,
Low profile,
Medium range ballistic missionary.
A street-wise smart bomb.
A top gun bottom feeder.
We wear power ties,
We tell power lies,
We take power naps,
We run victory laps.
Were a totally ongoing bigfoot slam dunk rainmaker with a proactive outreach.
A raging workaholic.
A working ragaholic.
Out of rehab,
And in denial.
We got a personal trainer,
A personal shopper,
A personal assistant,
And a personal agenda.
You can't shut us up,
You can't dumb us down.
'Cause Were tireless,
And Were wireless.
Were an alpha male on beta blockers.
Were non-believers and over-achievers.
Laid back but fashion forward.
Up front,
Down home,
Low rent,
High maintenance.
Super size,
Long lasting,
High definition,
Fast acting,
Oven ready,
And built to last.
Were a hands on,
Foot loose,
Knee jerk,
Head case.
Prematurely post traumatic,
And We have a love child who sends me hate mail.
But Were feeling,
Were caring,
Were healing,
Were sharing.
A supportive bonding nurturing primary care giver.
Our output is down,
But Our income is up.
We take a short position on the long bond,
And Our revenue stream has its own cash flow.
We read junk mail,
We eat junk food,
We buy junk bonds,
We watch trash sports.
Were gender specific,
Capital intensive,
User friendly,
And lactose intolerant.
We like rough sex.
We like rough sex.
We like tough love.
We use the f word in my email,
And the software on Our hard drive is hard core, no soft porn.
We bought a microwave at a mini mall.
We bought a mini van in a mega store.
We eat fast food in the slow lane.
Were toll free,
Bite sized,
Ready to wear,
And We come in all sizes.
A fully equipped,
Factory authorized,
Hospital tested,
Clinically proven,
Scientifically formulated medical miracle.
Weve been pre-washed,
Pre-cooked,
Pre-heated,
Pre-screened,
Pre-approved,
Pre-packaged,
Post-dated,
Freeze-dried,
Double-wrapped,
Vacuum-packed,
And We have an unlimited broadband capacity.
Were rude dudes,
But Were the real deal.
Lean and mean.
Cocked, locked and ready to rock.
Rough tough and hard to bluff.
We take it slow.
We go with the flow.
We ride with the tide.
We got glide in our stride.
Drivin' and movin',
Sailin' and spinnin',
Jivin' and groovin',
Wailin' and winnin'.
We don't snooze,
So We don't lose.
We keep the pedal to the metal,
And the rubber on the road.
We party hearty,
And lunch time is crunch time.
Were hanging in,
There ain't no doubt.
And Were hanging tough,
Over and out.
Rip George Carlin
