Austin [Taken and Loving It]

About Me

To love me is to hate me, at least for little while. Ask anyone...
Like all wild, intelligent carnivores, I am unpredictable. I have a divided personality. I am both man and beast. I can make cunning quips and howl at the moon with equal skill and conviction. My soul is like a volcanic vent in the ocean floor, burning hot, freezing cold, at once both, and neither. Jack-of-all-trades, master only of my selves. I am cold & calculating objective reason, but burningly passionate feeling and energy. I suppress my wild side as needed, and pride myself on being damn good at passing for normal when it suits me... But it suits me less and less.
Yes, I have a dark side. I have several, in fact. Bright and Dark mix and match with hot and cold. Sometimes it's fun. Sometimes it's not. Sometimes I can control it, sometimes I can't, and sometimes I just don't want to.
Yes, I can be serious. I've been in more than one life or death situation, both during work and play. I'm not as ditzy as you probably think. In fact, I can be the biggest buzz kill you ever met...
If you don't see that from me, feel special. That means all you've ever seen of me is happy, relaxed and impulsive. Don't be so shallow as to think I don't know what I'm doing. I do, I just don't always give a fuck. Sometimes I just do things that please me, that are only funny to me, because I want to. Not to impress you, or your cool little friends. Not that I'm ungenerous or unkind, b/c I'm actually a very nice guy, in my own way. If you need help, I'm down for what ever. Sucker for a smile and a please help me. But don't underestimate me, or be snobby to me. I don't get even often, true. But damn, you don't want to be one of the few times I do.
The most important thing understand about me is that who I am depends my mood. I am as kind and compassionate as I am cold, bitter, and sarcastic (I like playful sarcasm as well, though...). My burning ambition to get things done, fixed or saved is matched by my bleak and realistic understanding that sometimes I am totally powerless (read:fucked). If I am in a hostile environment, I can be very hostile. If its chill and everyone's having a good time, I'm very easy going.
However, if I'm determined to have a wild and crazy time, then I am guy that howls at the moon (I howl a lot now) and is up for damn near anything...

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Mostly people I can go do things with, or already know. I don't mind if you've moved since we've met, but I'm a complex person, and if we haven't ever hung out, it's hard to really get to know me. I just want to check up on my friends, or do something fun and exciting, or at least interesting. Boredom is the little death that makes me indulge in random acts of pyrotechnics....

My Kindred are always welcome, however.

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My Blog

Progress On Drinking Habits

As some of you may have noticed, either at the bar(s), the shop, Jonesy's place, Indian Josh's and Travis's birthday, and various other events and locations that I have not exactly ...
Posted by on Tue, 29 Jan 2008 19:26:00 GMT

To my kindred one (you know who you are)

This is who you are to me, what I hear in your voice late at night on the phone: Desire and devotion, Such heavely emotion, Affection and affinity, Proof of divinity... (more to come lat...
Posted by on Fri, 21 Dec 2007 22:19:00 GMT

Servant of Sorrow (beta)

Oh yes, Servant of Sorrow indeed,How else to sate this need?I'm been driven mad to set things right,Even with my soul drenched in night.Oh, but it matters not,My hunger burns ever hot,Screams of rage ...
Posted by on Mon, 26 Nov 2007 21:54:00 GMT

Done with getting drunk

I'm tired of half-heartedly trying to destory myself or forget my sorrows with booze. I'm never going to drink enough to kill myself, it just takes too much alcohol and ...
Posted by on Sun, 14 Oct 2007 21:15:00 GMT

Why I left, 2.0

You can't hurt me,Dead inside to be free,I choose to not feel,I will my soul to steel.Sensitive and different is wrong,Manly and normal is strong!I saw anger get it's way,That calm is weak and gay,Yo...
Posted by on Mon, 20 Aug 2007 06:00:00 GMT

Have you had a wild life? take this survey and find out...

I like the ones where there's only one thing I didn't do... You have to guess which one it was. Scandalous! Shameless! Sneaky!1. smoked.2. consumed alcohol.3. slept in the same bed with someone ...
Posted by on Mon, 20 Aug 2007 05:28:00 GMT

Why I left... (A short poem)

You can't hurt me,I choose to not feel,I will my soul to steel.Now I can weather your storm of hate,Watch my heart twist and mutate,A distillery of wrath,See your darkness warp my path!Why do you wond...
Posted by on Thu, 19 Jul 2007 17:19:00 GMT

I GOT A JOB!!! YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER, YEAH!!!

So, as you may have guessed from the very subtle title, I am now gainfully employed. I have a job that mostly ( I think ) running a forklift. It's by Clackamas, basically. I'll be ma...
Posted by on Thu, 19 Jul 2007 16:42:00 GMT

The rise and fall of my sanity...

I see the source of my mistakes, my over-corrections, my missed opportunities. When I was a child, I was taught to love as Jesus loves the world, to embrace the all the people of the whole,...
Posted by on Fri, 06 Jul 2007 01:19:00 GMT

Going on an Internet binge

So now my computer runs again. I even have wireless now. I live in Tigard, I don't have a job yet, and I don't want to pay $30 a month for Internet at the apartment.&nbs...
Posted by on Wed, 20 Jun 2007 03:55:00 GMT