It occurs to me that I have no actual information about myself on here. So here I am...IN LIST FORM!
I'm 25
I'm technically straight edge I suppose
Music and the creation thereof is my entire reason for living
I can't own a VCR as they always stop working
I live in Sutton
I'm six feet and three inches tall
I've been known to dance like the crazy old jewish man in The Simpsons
I can do a flawless impression of The Claw from Inspector Gadget
I would rather sleep with Snuffy than Big Bird
This is what my dreams are like
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Now you know me. Good for you! Here's what other people said when I shouted at them until they cried. Feel free to send your own along. DO IT YOU CUNT
"Our Chris... it should be stated here that i originally knew him as Devy (good ol' MABB)...has been a gemstone of pure win in my life for the past, hm, 6 years. Shit, thats quite a while! I just don't know what i'd of done without the mockery of my height and breast inadequacies throughout the years. He's one of very few that will pick up the pieces and put you back together again, over and over, without getting bored of being completely selfless. I adore him and wish he wasn't in Fleshrot, that way he could be hired by me as my very own humanised set of ladders. He has a heart of gold and i'll fucking kill any cunt that wishes to trample on that. Absolutely irreplacable Our Chris! ♥ ♥ ♥" - Our Ameh-Leigh ♥
"I love my dearest Christopher. He's the awesomest bag of brutality and i feel honoured to know him" - Amy/shitbag ^.^
'Chris is powerful and ruthless. His imposing robot form is dominated by his primary weapon - his arm-mounted fusion cannon, capable of leveling a city block in one blast, which he can sub-dimensionally link to a black hole, generating even more powerful antimatter blasts (capable of destroying a small moon). He has a secondary weapon barrel mounted on his back, and can retract and replace his right hand with an energy flail. He can fire electrical blasts from his hands, laser blasts from his eyes on at least one occasion and can reprogram computers with a port in his head.' - Lumpy Joe
"On sunny autumn mornings, Chris wakes early, dresses and goes down his stairs. It iss his favourite time of year, and he likes to get outside early to appreciate the beauty of a world basked in the golden glow of a fading summer."Morning mother," he says cheerily as he hastens through the house to the front door."Morning darling, don't forget your keys this time!" Mother jokes, handing him his flask and some lunch."Haha! You wag," Chris laughs, pulling on his work boots, "bye then mother, love you!". He trudges through the leaves in the garden to his car, and off he goes to another day at the organic farm.Chris cares about the environment. Chris loves cute little fur pets. Chris is a kind and generous, well mannered boy.Chris has a massive wang and he knows how to use it." - Han
"My greatest memory of Chris is that of the New Year's Eve of 2006, when, before promptly running to the toilet, he proclaimed he would be remembered entering the new year taking a shit. That's the kind of man you're dealing with." - Jane
"Devy is a cockeny faced flying idiot bomb. also hilariously funny and a somewhat of a guitar god. :xx:" - Rob
"Chris takes a look at all laws and rules, says 'no' ever so loudly and tells them to go get anally fisted by the New Labour Party. Chris does stuff his own way. He is something of a man like that" - Elliot
"Chris is almost as offensive as Hitler, but not as sexy." - Northern Laura
"Chris owns a wild wacky action bike. BUT HE CAN'T RIDE IT! It's gay." - Tiny Zoe
""Devy" as he is lovably called, enjoys shaving his ballsack. Then after doing so, he kindly puts his bald manbag on a scanner and posts the image of his shimmering scrote on the web. Devy is a kind man. Not everyone shares their glistening manhood to the world, but yes, my friends, Devy does." - Many Yaks
"Life size teddy bear. Four stars out of five." - Imran
"CHRIS IS GAY. But quite funny." - Kim
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So this is my page for solo musical stuff as well as just contacting me. I'll upload music from various projects I've been involved with as well as solo stuff when I get round to it
This is for the bands that try to add me. If you're not metal in some shape or form, don't send me a friend request unless you want to know the sadness that only a MySpace friendship denial can bring. Seriously, if you've read my page and don't think I'll like you, DON'T FUCKING ADD ME. I mean are you that desperate for friends that you'll try to add people who don't even like you? And if I denied you once and you try to add me again, all I'm going to do is laugh at you and then wish you dead.
[email protected]
Go on then, contact me. If you're retarded and/or boring as fuck then blocking shall be thy fate. If not then we'll snuggle like they did in the old country
The bands I am or have been involved in are as follows...
TEETH!
My Chemical Toilet
The Amazing Mr Feculence
