I was raised in an institution for the criminally depraved. My parents left me there at the age of 2 claiming I'd exhibited behaviour so deviant they feared to have me in the same house. It was there that I found Satan and a Class A drug habit and turned my life around. At 16 I began to question if there wasn't perhaps more to life than daily beatings, sleep deprivation and a diet solely consisting of mashed sheeps eyeballs. I concluded that there probably was and so began to set aside an escape fund by mugging the elderly relatives of other inmates during visitors hour. It was around this time that I discovered Morris dancing; an art of such grace and dignity it moved me to the bottom of my corroded soul and paved the way to my salvation. I managed to escape during the weekly exorcism and joined the Satanic youth Morris dancing troupe. We spent a long and happy time dancing all over the world until we came to Bury a wondrous place of such beauty, splendour and class I have been unable to leave. I live a life of simple pleasures now, the winter rain on my face while waiting an hour for a bus, the touch of a dirty old man or the crack of a bottle against my skull on a local night out and the delicious taste of black pudding, oh what a town. Please forgive me if I am slow to reply to messages but years of torment have left me with the social skills of a Tory MP. I am using MySpace to promote the noble art of Morris dancing, please help me to spread the word, Morris dancing is the new black, all the cool kids are doing it. I won't rest until the country is converted.href="http://www.pimp-my-profile.com/">
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