I like to eat corn chips.
How not to get laid.
I desire corn chips, and long to fit corn chips into every aspect of my life. The boisterous crunch of Corn chips is with me wherever I go. One time, I was pillaging the southern village of Fort Myers, and minions of Gangstarnia approached me. I said "Hail!" They gazed upon me like an injured beast of burden. They beckoned for my gold coin. Within my coin purse, all I had was 2 silver nuggets and 20 bronze coins for I recently just bartered some silver for a leather pouch of corn chips and mead. I attempted a ruse but my charm and charisma failed to deceive the Gangstarnians. All of a sudden like Odin's great wrath, the Gangstarnian with the blood drenched scarf over his eye said, "You dare mock me with a lie such as that!! The coin purse of yours jingles with your protection tax!!" Then he spread his arms out like an eagle. It seemed as if he wanted to feel the champion's embrace but at the last moment, he shield bashed me to the ground. I begged "please, you can have your brutish way with my own flesh, but please spare the corn chips!" As they lifted their swords to behead me, the Gangstarnian with his leather greaves unfastened said, "Did you utter... corn chips?" I cried, "Aye dark one... please spare my corn chips, I beg thee..look at them.. They are frightened." Quickly the Gangstarnians hoisted me off up off the ground and brushed my sheepskin loincloth off. The Gangstarnians chanted a spell and vanished into thin air as they muttered "we are sorry." To this day, I believe that if I would have had a silver canister of Pringles, chalice of Bugles, or any other crunchy rations, I would be a bloodstain on the earthen path to Fort Myers. Praise to you corn chips.
Other people who like to eat corn chips. I am also open to people who like Funyuns and Doritos. I hate people that frown upon drinking chips from the bag. In my opinion it is my God given right to mass consume Fritos in anyway I see fit.
Corn chips ceremonial music, corn chips sacks opening, corn chips sacks being shaken, corn chips crunching. Frito sacks in my loincloth.
Corn Chips : http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0043428/Children of the Corn: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087050/Corn: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0330175/
Corn chips commercials, especially those from the late 80 - early 90s, they had style.
Frito Lay