Norm - ProfilesArchive

About Me

We could start at the beginning; I was the child that should not have been. I wasnâ€™t an immaculate conception or anything, my mom just should not have been able to carry me to term. I repaid her by becoming a sarcastic pain in her ass. I had a happy childhood until the unemployed joy of childhood was torn away from me like an epileptic unwrapping a Christmas present. Then I became the best damn grocery clerk I could. I spent ten years asking people if they wanted paper or plastic. Working 40 hour a week and trying to be a full time student. I became an Insomniac, a Caffeine Addict, an Amateur-Alcoholic, and an Asshole. Iâ€™m still three of those things, but at least I sleep at night.I left my soul sucking 42K a year grocery job, for the wonderful world of Hollywood. And I went to work in a three by four foot office in the back room of a liquor store. I canâ€™t say there name but they sell Beveragesâ€¦and More!!!Then Mom died. I gathered my shit together and promised myself that this woman did not risk her life to have her son turn out to be a drunk receiving clerk. She wanted him to be a drunk screenwriter. So I set out to shed my problems in the quest for the magical position only held by 95% of Hollywoodâ€¦an INTERN.And I did it. Then, after three months of keeping my mouth shut and my ears open I was elevated from intern bitch-boy, to paid office assistant bitch-boy. I began the steady crawl to the top where one day my name might appear on the silver screen, or in HR with all the other crappy punny and rhyming headlines.I soon discovered that when you make your hobby your paycheck, your hobby is not nearly as fun. Show biz sucked ass, and my girl left me so it was only a matter of time before LA started to suck ass. I left. Apparently mom did mean to raise an grumpy ass grocery clerk.I currently experience happiness in at least two of the three portions of my life, at any given time. And I work for a euphoric balance between work, family, and self. And continue the quest for the ultimate Nirvanaâ€¦.a really good Hamburger.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

A ghost, or someone who believes in Magic, and not that Vegas, Lance Burton, slight-of-hand stuff. I want to meet people who believe that it is the job of PARENTS not the FCC or the MPAA to protect children from the evils perpetuated by boobies and violence. I want to meet people that will listen and think about something before they respond. And I want those responses to be intelligent and well thought out.Also, maybe some Hot Chicks that are into leather and safety words.

My Blog

2007 my year in review.

Those of you who know me, know that 2007 started in a really shitty way, and pretty much went down hill from there. I faced a dumping, unemployment (self-induced), ongoing writers block, alcoholism, ...
Posted by on Wed, 16 Jan 2008 22:19:00 GMT

To dream the impossible dream

I have achieved the impossible. As I write this I am about to go into my room and pass out, so I can make it to work by 5am. But the impossible is this&my Television has been off for 24 hours straig...
Posted by on Thu, 13 Dec 2007 21:07:00 GMT

Which finger do you want to lose?!?!

OK, so I am writing this with nine fingers right now. No, this is not some kinky masturbatory experiment. I cut myself pretty bad at work the other day. Brand new box cutter, nylon band that appear...
Posted by on Wed, 17 Oct 2007 20:56:00 GMT

Loyalty

OK, So I had to fire a friend today. And let me be clear, this is not a small thing. I actually discovered that I had stuck up for a person that was guilty of what you adherently defended him agains...
Posted by on Fri, 24 Aug 2007 10:06:00 GMT

Caffeine the Wonder Drug

Hey all,I pulled this out of the Uncle John's Bathroom Reader Extraordinary Book of Facts.Caffeine has been scientifically proven to temporarily increase alertness, comprehension, memory, reflexes, an...
Posted by on Mon, 04 Jun 2007 23:53:00 GMT

Online Dating Part 4

Yay!!!!! Norm gets to sound like a pompous ass now. Now we get to talk about Intellect. This seems to be covered in the dating sites by asking what level of education I want in my match, but I have ...
Posted by on Sun, 03 Jun 2007 22:07:00 GMT

Online Dating Part 3

I covered this a little in part two, but there seems to be a strange emphasis on jobs in these dating sites. Now, I know that we all want someone that has a job. And there are some people that feel ...
Posted by on Thu, 24 May 2007 22:58:00 GMT

Online Dating Part 2: The Physical

The most boring part of any profile is that list of things that you have to choose to identify your physical preferences. The list of height, weight, eyes, hair, build&see even reading the list is b...
Posted by on Sun, 20 May 2007 14:18:00 GMT

Online Dating Part One

I have decided to dive head first into the world of online dating. While it is true I have returned home after three years in LA, I feel as if I am a new face in a new town. Things have changed and ...
Posted by on Sat, 12 May 2007 22:09:00 GMT

The joys of the word FUCK

Okay, So I just got done watching the documentary "FUCK." And let me just say that it is a great film that applies a frank and open discussion on one of my favorite subjects. It is very rare that you...
Posted by on Sun, 06 May 2007 22:26:00 GMT