Moist Crevice was envisioned during a particularly shit IT lesson at Stokesley college during 2003/4 by Andrew Reid, Martin Longshaw and Steven Stewart, and within a few hours we already had some amazing lyrics down including the ones to our almighty anthems "if i were gay i'd do your mother" and "Jimmys inverse face testicle" (written with the help of the jimmy in question; peter cole. and no, he doesnt really have an inverse face testicle, nor does such a thing exist)
Moist Crevice was just a pipe dream for almost another 2 years, until Reid, Long and Ste moved into their lovenest, where with their creative talents together they got shitfaced and decided making some music would actually be a good idea. Now this wouldn't be too bad, apart from that Reid is a below par guitarist while sober, longshaw has little experience on bass and ste plays a glorified cabbage, somehow labeled as a drumkit, when it is no more a drum kit than a clothes horse or something to trip over.
Somehow, the music that the 3 recorded on one fateful thursday night actually sounded...wait for it.... not completely awful! These songs became known as "extreme seepage" "i heard your name was bumteeth" and "vagina face"
The next step, as we had lots of lyrics was to enlist a singer, for this we enlisted Mr. Kev Robinson to lay his vocals down on a few tracks. This included the brilliant "shoving a fire engine up the virgin marys hairy axe wound" (name partially stolen from a cuntsaw song like)
However, although kev did a good job there was still something missing, and along came the genius idea of a digital vocalist, which led to the fucking outstanding "renting out my face to a papa new guinnean farmer" which is now one of my favourite songs ever, and i'll blow my own trumpet about it all i like, it's mint.
We have since enlisted the musical talents of such luminaries as Captain Yudlugar, Matthew Nevins, David Lackenby and Jason Kaye.
Although it seems insane, as we have already created the most stunning piece of music possible, the moistness of our crevice lingers on as we push for even more greatness
