I like: Intelligent idiots, jumping up and down, Viz, mashed potato, Brussels sprouts, gay jokes, staying in nightclubs until the ugly lights come on, laughing, Sundays in the pub, 12-string guitar, gin and juice, DVD extras, Totes Toasties, text messages, butter, the smell of my own farts, Monkeychews, carrot juice, funny noises, dogs, taking photos of drunk people, trains, hot baths, songs that last more than 10 minutes, staying in bed all day, CD bargain basements, walking nowhere in particular, cream tea, North London, going out on Thursday night, 303, 909, lying in fields, five-day cricket test matches, stroking my pathetic beard, hoarding, leaning back on chairs, otters, Michel Gondry, time travel, lame graffiti, reminiscing about good old days that I can't remember, that bit in Terminator 2 special edition where John Connor teaches Arnie to smile, Graham Chapman, Takeshi's Castle, sleeping on the sofa, marinated garlic cloves, waking up without an alarm going off, history, holding doors open for people, trees, mulled wine, maps, salad carts, looking out of windows, dressing like a dickhead, saunas.
I don't like: People who stand still on escalators like they're fairground rides, hangovers at work, cold ears, the last four minutes of 'Layla', people leaving their mobile phones on their desks while they go to the toilet, shoelaces, badly placed apostrophe's, treading in poo, those twats who paint themselves gold and stand still in Covent Garden, people who stand around watching gold-painted twats stand still in Covent Garden.
