About Me
So is this the part where I talk highly about myself like some egotistical douche bag, whine and moan about my girlfriend like a spineless emo twatslave, or become some genius poet and write a huge fucking metaphor of my aura? If it is, well too fucking bad. Douche bags.I'm a happy little fella whose resides in a town where nobody knows anybody they live by and the only people who can understand the streets signs are either the new majority of Californians or those who chose to pay attention in Spanish class. I got as far as, "Donde esta el bano." (There's supposed to be this little thingy "~" over the n in bano but I can't make my computer do that so fuck off Mrs. Miller) A town in which there's everything you could ever want to do, but can't do because money just doesn't seem to fall out your anus, like it does for others. No, haven't quite figured out the anus money trick, but I think I've got the pissin' it away thing down pat. Sure, the waves are consistent, the food's good, the chicks are hot........real hot, but most of the time, dumb as much as they are attractive. And their choice in guys. WOW! It is amazing. They always seem to choose the biggest asshole who thinks it's a fun little game to see how many bruises they can put on their girl without going to jail. Then they whine and complain, as they should, but then turn around and get back together with the dude. It seems to make a lot of sense to me. No, actually, not really. They would all go under the "Douche Bag" title I so adore.I feel as if I'm veering off course here. Bitchin' Viejo is a lovely looking establishment, voted Tree City USA (oh HELL YA). I don't think I've seen a more brilliant display of un-indigenous plantlife that require more water than what we really can afford to spare. Last I heard, Arizona was quite thrilled about lending us their share of water. They were all like, "Hell ya we love California. They're so cool with their huge fucking SUV's, and their Hollywood. We especially love all those gays in San Fran and Laguna and where ever else and......and......uhhhhhhh......OH YEAH!!! They've got Disneyland. WOO HOO BABY YA!!! Give'em all our water cause we don't want the mouse to die of thirst." Don't ask me what that was all about because truthfully, I don't fuckin' know either.I don't think I've properly explained "me" yet. After all this little section is entitled "About Me". Catchy little phrase. Well, let me start with the fact that I'm about as normal as they seem to come without casting myself into the bleak downward spiral of absolute normality. So......ya......there you have it. Normal, but not too normal, ya know. I thought you would understand. Cause you know of course that if you didn't...............you'd be a douche bag.Oh, and one last thing before I go. Mormons make me laugh. No disrespect to them and their "religion/cult", whatever you wanna call it. They just make me laugh.
