Marta La Verde

My sister, Jamie, once told me that I had a disease called Boobalonia that made one turn into a boy at the age of eight. My spirit broken I told her that I love wearing dresses, she assured me that once, Daddy did too. Confused, I decided that I would not let this ailment ruin my life. It was then I made an oath to be the best man I could be. I was going to be Jesus. I then set out on a quest to become the Christ. I purchased a flying carpet with my magical beans and went looking for the nearest cross. I asked Father Randy at the Catholic School for Perpetual Sinners if I could use the cross in the sanctuary, but he told me my mission was blasphemous and would take me nowhere but the fiery pits of Hell. He offered to help rid me of my demons, but who has time to foam at the mouth? Not me, I was on a search for the next step to becoming the alpha and omega. It seemed that the Religious elders were a step in the wrong direction so I decided to ask the educated. The agnostics couldnt make up their minds, the atheists were too angry to approach, and the scientologists.....well who gives a fuck what they think. The only help I got was from the Muslims who told me to head east. Short one boat, I could only get as far as New York. Turns out Jesus Christ is a Super Star and I have been trying ever since to make it as an actor.