the agony without the ecstasy profile picture

the agony without the ecstasy

counting acts and clutching thoughts

About Me

JAG ÄR VERKLIGEN EN SVENSK FLICKA I MITT HJÄRTA ???



no, seriously..

jag är en svensk flicka som fastnat i en asiatisk flickas kropp, jag äter Janssons Frestelse 2 gånger i veckan, jag talar på svenska när jag är full och jag dansar hambo med min bästa väns föräldrar.

jag saknar det här stället

i climb
i backtrack
i float
i ramble my way home....

it doesn't matter if you dont understand what im saying there...

words do not express thoughts very well. They always become a little different immediately after they are expressed, a little distorted, a little foolish.

aim = junkierawkstar

My Interests

20's, 50's, 60's, 60's music, black, beer, books, boots, calvin and hobbes, alcohol, cheese, chocolate, chemicals, ciggies, death, movies, independent film, kool-aid, mod boys, mp3s, mural paintings, music, new psychedelia, ikea, experimental, foreign film, existentialism, art films, independent cinema, intelligence, photography, indiepop, indiefolk, pop art, beatniks, beaches, autumn, popsicles, pokka green tea, pokka green tea peppermint, pokka melon milk, pocky, rain, solitude, sarah records, scotland, scottish accent, skinny girlish boys, stars, strawberries, strawberry shortcake, svenska killar, svenskpop, sweden, synthpop, twee pop, vivian leigh, weed, whipped cream.

I'd like to meet:

jag tror inte jag skulle vilja möta människor, men jag är en hycklerist, jag skulle vilja möta människor som kan begrava mig i gummi björnar och stereo..



he's the only person im dying to meet. he's so divine, it almost hurts me to look at his picture. he's the perfection in my eyes.



Music:

Adorable, Ladybug Transistor, The Lucksmiths, Cat's Miaow, Glo Worm, Club 8, Red Sleeping Beauty, Edson, Belle and Sebastian, Ivy, Call and Response, The Softies, The Charlatans, The Strokes, Velocette, Barcelona, Beulah, Aquadays, Elizabeth City Stak, The Orchids, Spearmint, Gorky's Zygotic Mynci, Trembling Blue Stars, Sea Urchins, Cinerama, Magnetic Fields, The Field Mice, Blueboy, Harvey Williams, Autor de Lucie, The Happies?, Pas/Cal, Apples in Stereo, The Posies, Super Furry Animals, The Divine Comedy, The Aislers Set, Aberdeen, George, Spiritualized, Secret Shine, XTC, Stars, The Springfields, St. Etienne, The Sixth Great Lake, Nico, The Delgados, The Go-Betweens, The Essex Green, marine research, Bear Quartet, Velvet Underground, Amber Smith, Arvidson, Astrud Gilberto, Herman's Hermits, The Beatles, Curt Boettcher, Death By Chocolate, Millenium, Talulah Gosh, Sea Urchins, Milltown Brothers, Neil Halstead, Brittle Stars, Clientele, Camera Obscura, Heavenly, Marshmallow Coast,Cloudberry Jam, Acid House Kings, The Autumn Teen Sound, Riviera, Elvis Costello, Equatronic, Badly Drawn Boy, math & physics club, Welle Erdball, I'm from Barcelona, Tuk Tuk Rally, the carpenters, black box recorder, broadcast, radio department, [ingenting], laurel music, nosoträsh, la cazza del azzul

Movies:

a clockwork orange, hedwig and the angry inch, velvet goldmine, léolo, kitchen stories, Elephant, the five obstructions, trainspotting, reservoir dogs, amélie, requiem for a dream, b monkey, memento, lock stock and two smokin barrels, city of god, dancer upstairs, i am sam, "Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter... and Spring" (Kim Ki-Duk), Battle Royale, lost in translation, Delicatessen, King Of Hearts, L'Appartement, lovers of the arctic circle, american splendor, the dreamers, the return, oldboy, bernardo bertolucci, takeshi kitano, garin nugroho, François Truffaut, gregg araki, stanley kubrick, gus van sant, orson welles more more more..

Television:

discovery travel and adventure channel, cartoon network, GET BACKERS

Books:

....<[camus, sartre, dostoevsky, huxley, burroughs, burgess, nietzsche, kafka, welsh, hesse, wilde, roald dahl, astrid lindgren, judy blume, more more more>]....

deadeye dick - kurt vonnegut, the alchemist - paulo coelho, catcher in the rye - j. d. salinger, this boy's life - tobias wolff, the god of small things - arundhati roy, sirens of titan - kurt vonnegut, nine stories - j. d. salinger, modern man in search of a soul - carl gustav jung, the man who tried to save the world - scott anderson, fantasia of the unconscious and psychoanalysis of the unconscious - D.H. Lawrence, candy - luke davies, To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee, pride and prejudice - jane austen

and more..

Heroes:

- DADDY

My Blog

yeah

'food is the first thing , morals follow on' brecht said and was rightprovide people with a decent life and they won't sow that much hatred
Posted by the agony without the ecstasy on Wed, 19 Dec 2007 09:19:00 PST

i am just rambling..

the pessimist takes a sort of gloomy pleasure in observing the depths to which human behaviour can sink. The more sin he sees, the more his belief in original sin is confirmed. Everyone likes to have ...
Posted by the agony without the ecstasy on Thu, 03 Aug 2006 02:03:00 PST

something inside me died.

the last 10 years should have been about building a life, growing, developing, taking whatever fate threw at me. But i havent been able to do that because every move i've made, every decision i've ma...
Posted by the agony without the ecstasy on Wed, 22 Mar 2006 09:10:00 PST

yes..

im sick of following my dreams. im just goin to ask them where they're goin, and hook up with them later.
Posted by the agony without the ecstasy on Thu, 19 Jan 2006 06:33:00 PST

i am a shattered rainbow

I am a rainbow shattered across the skyI watch and wait, as I seem to dieChrystal fragments drop to the skyLike broken glass,they'll cut you if you hold themBleeding from a wound, that will not healI...
Posted by the agony without the ecstasy on Thu, 13 Oct 2005 01:05:00 PST

few words

extra ordinary drunkenness is a blissuntil you get to be a security risktotal coordination malfunctiontunnelvision in the highest divisionno indecision not to talk of precisionstagediving in the foetu...
Posted by the agony without the ecstasy on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

existentialism, nihilism, Absurdism

One can live a nihilistic life- believing in nothing and doing whatever one pleases without meaning- and one can live an existential life- understanding that there is no inherent meaning but searching...
Posted by the agony without the ecstasy on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

rebel

The great rebellion is not to kill oneself but to live and give suffering the finger...at least untill you crash into a tree...a lonely tree...in the middle of nowhere... ...
Posted by the agony without the ecstasy on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.

...
Posted by the agony without the ecstasy on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

rants

When things get this crazy, the best thing I know to do is just shut down. It may not be the best solution, in fact, it may not solve a thing, but at least I know I won't be messing more things up. Ju...
Posted by the agony without the ecstasy on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST