the tyler â„¢ profile picture

the tyler â„¢

If you always wake up late you'll never be on time

About Me


I make a living making fun of other people
I love to dance. Not like shit dancing, but the reel deal. Hit me up and I'll show you some moves, unless you're one of those lame hip-hop kids.
I love everybody and hate everybody at the same time
The only thing i hate more than otters are people that say that i love otters. ( i do not like otters)
( i do not like otters)
I break the law. 'Cause it's fun, that's why.

My Interests

I am interested in ewoks.

favorite foot: my left one.
secret power: laser knees
secret identity: richard nixon

I'd like to meet:

If I could find a cute girl who listened to They Might Be Giants and other assorted nerd-rock, then I would melt.

Music:

I like much music (the Canadian Music Channel
386 DX
A Minor Forest
The Agony Scene
ANIMAL COLLECTIVE
Antarctica
Aphex Twin
The Aquabats
Aqueduct
Ash Ra Tempel
Barzin
Beachwood Sparks
Beckp

Bjork
Blank & Jones
Blood Brothers
British Sea Power
Broken Social Scene
Casiotone For the Painfully Alone
Cephalic Carnage
The Chariot
The Chinese Stars
Converge
DCFC
DNTEL
Fear Before The March Of Flames
fischerspooner
The Flaming Lips
GODSPEED YOU BLACK EMPEROR!
Gorillaz
Head Automatica
Iran
Kissing Tigers
Le Tigre
Mates Of State
the Mountain Goats
Paul Lansky
The Primitives
The Roots Of Orchis
Sigur Ros
Sleater-Kinney
Smaksing Pumkins
Super Furry Animals
Ted Leo
THE VELVET TEEN!!!
WILCO!!!
Wonderful
Yo la Tengo

Movies:

I do enjoy a good movie every once in a while...
Newspapers: I like the onion.

Television:

Ew. books are better.

Books:

I read a lot of books, and i don't wanna list hem, but while you're down here, why don't you CLICK HERE TO SEE MY BAND, YO

Heroes:

these guys
Andy
willard
Jesse
Dain-O
Andy again
Jammin
Calebbbb
Matt
Tyge n' maddie
willy and timmy
Joe
Teddy bear
Cammy
another andy
..joshie
jeremy
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..oh yeah, and bri too.

My Blog

we should just fuck all the animals

Why do words hurt people? Why these unwritten laws? why condemn all these words that put blood on our paws? When a white says nigger does it make it right to fuck up the white kid? To give him a fight...
Posted by the tyler " on Wed, 09 Nov 2005 12:10:00 PST

This is how i got stiffed by the man

    There's no better way to put it than      "I got caught."     I got suspended for five (5) days on drug paraphanelia charges. My first court dat...
Posted by the tyler " on Thu, 27 Oct 2005 11:57:00 PST

have you been on the roof of a building?

stream of concious. this is what your brain looks like when it's near full. orange fighter pilot eats silence with apple segments would you care for one no thanks i walk down and crack under the dry ...
Posted by the tyler " on Mon, 05 Sep 2005 11:27:00 PST

Last night = ........different?

Last night i lost my underwear at Adobe Creek Golf Course. If any of you find a pair of navy blue jockey briefs, give me a call.
Posted by the tyler " on Sat, 27 Aug 2005 10:07:00 PST

the new me

in order to be taken seriously, i'm going to stop doing dumb things. i'll stop making jokes i'll stop saying funny things. i just want to be taken seriously. because at the moment, i am not. ...
Posted by the tyler " on Sat, 13 Aug 2005 08:57:00 PST

My view on intelligent design

wrote this little baby last night. I hope you like it. Please don't take it seriously. It's satire.    Because Science should be "tolerant" of all viewpoints, I believe that a...
Posted by the tyler " on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

weirdest fucking map ever


Posted by the tyler " on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

today i learned something

I was with my grandmother today. And I learned that old people aren't senile, they're just high.
Posted by the tyler " on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

if you're an individual, you're as good as dead

I had no childhood. My family moved around very much when i was younger, and there were never any kids my age in my neighborhood. I don't even remember most of my childhood, actually. It makes me sad...
Posted by the tyler " on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

albatross

Once there was a bike messenger named "Bike Messenger #1." He had a very important job. He was only concerned with his work, and had no time to waste on friends or family. He was the happiest man in...
Posted by the tyler " on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST