Fantypants. profile picture

Fantypants.

I'm sorry for being Kathleen's drunky mother.

About Me



I enjoy pretty things. I am profoundly superficial- I only have attractive friends. (I'm aware that I'm not strictly attractive, but I don't have to look at myself.)I really think I'm a gay man in a woman's body- I love hanging out with the girls, but I also love cock. Mostly, I just don't enjoy spending that much time with the men attached to them. I play soccer. I like to dance. Not with a fan. That's for tragic goth try-hards. I like looking at faces. I love neat noses and nicely groomed eyebrows. I hate freckles and gappy baked bean teeth. I think flub and feet are disgusting. And I unfortunately have both for now. But the flub's days, are numbered. All girls want to either have a stylist or be a stylist. I would love being a stylist. I hate being told what to do.

My Interests

I like to travel, buy perfume, make clothes, play soccer, cook (badly), watch stand up comedy, do stand up comedy (also badly),run with my dogs, draw, watch movies, read astrology books, play with makeup,cut my hair, read in the bath, drink gin in the garden (or bath), gossip harmlessly, hug my friends.

I'd like to meet:

Anyone who's not: boring, tedious, smelly, rude, annoying, moronic, unhygienic, conceited, immature, gormless OR, failing those categories: people who know how to have fun.

Music:

Mogwai, Elliot Smith, Nick Drake, Redhouse Painters, Folk Implosion, Pixies, Yo La Tengo, Polvo, Teenage Fanclub, Death in Vegas, Fugees, Tortoise, Lotel, Massive Attack, Miss Kittin and the Hacker, Ben Harper (who doesn't?) Peaches, Missy Elliot and I actually really like alot of Kanye West's stuff...

Movies:

Okaaayy, *breathes in*:donnie darko, royal tenenbaums, solaris, orlando, snow falling on cedars, emma, predator, meet the feebles, adventures of baron von munchausen, goonies, murder by numbers, safety of objects, requiem for a dream, fightclub, lost in translation, high fidelity, antonia's line, natural born killers, pulp fiction, stealing beauty, heavy, my life as a dog, brazil, mediteraneo, the shining, one flew over the cuckoos nest, croupier, freeway, lawndogs, bagdad cafe, all the terminator movies, all the alien movies, city of lost children, delicatessen, drowning by numbers, the cook, the theif, his wife and that one, velvet goldmine, full metal jacket, opposite of sex, fear and loathing in las vegas, leaving las vegas, belle epoch, the blues brothers, misery, lost highway, blue velvet, stella does tricks, das edukators, anatomie, lantana, the boys, love serenade, thumbsucker, dead gorgeous and so many, many more...

Television:

CSI, Blackbooks, weeds, so you think you can dance, medium, battlestar galactica (new series), absolutely fabulous, lost, American Dad, Family Guy, Daria, Six Feet Under, arrested development, blackadder, young ones, early episodes of desperate housewives, queer as folk, cantabury tales, heroes, degrassi.

Books:

Perfume, White Noise, Cats Cradle, This Boys Life, Catcher in the Rye, The Fatal Shore, Guns, Germs and Steel, The Robber Bride, Marie Antionette, Alias Grace and many, many trashy works of chicklit.

Heroes:

Vivienne Westwood, John Galliano, Those crazy Belgian 6, Magaret Atwood, Roberto Cavalli(originator of slag-luxe) Helmut Newton, Robert Mapplethorpe, Anna Wintour (genius scorpios= Hello? As if we all aren't!) the Socceroos: Lucas Neil, I want to have your babies.

My Blog

Stupid raunch culture bullshit.

OK, this is going to seem a bit rich coming from a girl who has her boobs on display, but I can be contradictory if I like.I'm sick of seeing Dita Von Teese every-fucking-where. She's just a freakin' ...
Posted by Fantypants. on Sun, 29 Apr 2007 10:11:00 PST

The king is dead, long live the king.

Kurt Vonnegut has died. He was my second favourite author- would have been the favourite but he just couldn't write women: They were either beautiful, simple angels or plain parochial morons. But he h...
Posted by Fantypants. on Fri, 13 Apr 2007 12:43:00 PST

My fave little person.

Is my niece Caitlin. The only child I can stomach for longer than 10 seconds. And actually I can stomach her for HOURS AT A TIME. She is hilarious. Forgiving. A sassy, miniature dictator- but everythi...
Posted by Fantypants. on Sat, 24 Mar 2007 08:22:00 PST

Advance hair: yeah, nah.

More fashion! I just can't get it out of my head! Mini dresses and tunic dresses, I have noticed, are dominating the winter look- esp. in wool with long sleeves. It seems that heavy black stockin...
Posted by Fantypants. on Mon, 12 Feb 2007 05:02:00 PST

More on the water carriers.

OK. Maybe I should go a little further with the Aquarian generalising- who doesn't love a good generalise? The thing is that out of all the Aquarians I have come to know and love, only one wandered ar...
Posted by Fantypants. on Mon, 12 Feb 2007 04:17:00 PST

Oh these Aquarians.

It's Aquarius season! You know, I don't have anything against the aquas as a rule... But I think they are mis-labelled most of the time. They are supposed to be aloof. Detached. Into their own space,...
Posted by Fantypants. on Wed, 07 Feb 2007 05:58:00 PST

I see Cameron Diaz has moved on.

With Kelly Slater, no less. Well, at least he can give her free surfing lessons so that she may FINALLY be able to turn as well as stand up. 'Cos she's been doing it for an awfully long time to n...
Posted by Fantypants. on Tue, 30 Jan 2007 06:08:00 PST

More Flashion predictions

I think it's fairly obvious that the 'trustifarian off to Ibiza to smoke ganga and shag other rich kids' look is dying in the arse finally. That's right sienna, jade jagger! It's OVA! I don't really d...
Posted by Fantypants. on Thu, 25 Jan 2007 12:13:00 PST

Saint Angelina does it again...

Angelina Jolie's comments from a new interview have been raising eyebrows. (It really took them this long to notice she's a nutjob?)         Among other comment...
Posted by Fantypants. on Thu, 18 Jan 2007 09:15:00 PST

Go Oprah, go!!!

See Mme Jolie-Pitt? Madge Ciccone? You don't walk into an African orphanage and hand-pick the cutest orphan there for a hope at a nobel prize in generosity down the line. If you have a bazillion ...
Posted by Fantypants. on Mon, 15 Jan 2007 07:21:00 PST