Alex Safari - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Hello. My name is Alex. I was born almost a month postmature at St. Joseph's Hospital in Tucson, Arizona at 8:30PM on a Wednesday. In high school, I was nominated for three categories: "Best Dressed," "Most Opinionated" and "Coolest Car." I lost in every single one. I am a notoriously picky eater. Several years ago I was a musician in a few local rock bands, and nowadays I try to amuse myself by attempting to remember how to play the guitar and keyboards. I am single-jointed. I have received about half a dozen traffic tickets in my life and have even had my driver's license suspended once, yet I have never been the driver in an automobile accident. I have been a passenger in seven automobile accidents. I left two of them in an ambulance. My first Halloween costume was a Ghostbuster and my last one was Matthew Lesko. I'm a cat person. That's not to say I'm some sort of cat/human mutation, I just generally prefer the company of cats to the company of dogs. Unfortunately, it seems that most cats don't seem to be Alex people. I take my coffee black with at least two sugars. I have no famous relatives. Yes, the glasses are prescription.
WRITE TO ME:
Alex Italics
1303 East University Blvd. #20509
Tucson, AZ 85719-0521
READ MY LETTERS:
www.AlexItalics.com

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

I'd like to meet...

...anybody who laughs out loud, but isn't afraid to keep that to themselves when typing on the computer. Who can roll on the floor laughing while typing "ROFL" anyway?

...anybody with a calico cat named after a figure in American history.

...anybody who's a rich old man/woman looking for the son they never had with whom they can bequeath their fortune.

...anybody who OKCupid tells me I'm compatible with based on my OKCupid profile , as there is no possible way that I'm mature enough to filter through the general interests of people I meet on my own. How can my own judgement and knowledge of myself possibly compete with the super-sophisticated algorithm on the fancy computers they use?

...anybody who is Carl Johnson.

...anybody who finds egotistical, conceited and sarcastic men devastatingly handsome.

...anybody who finds Carl Johnson devastatingly handsome.

My Blog

You might be a redneck if...

Here are some great redneck jokes I came up with today.YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF......you are from the geographic South and have a crippling learning disability that impairs your ability to conform to...
Posted by on Sat, 01 Dec 2007 03:03:00 GMT

My two new addictions

Hello,I'd like to share with you (my closest of eFriends) my two newest internet addictions. Please take some time and check them out. You'll thank me later.Addiction 1: ANIMAL FACE-OFF! (...
Posted by on Sat, 08 Sep 2007 02:55:00 GMT

An email exchange with The Big Word on the Tucson Music Scene

Bulletin from The Big Word on the Tucson Music Scene Show:Subject: How do bands like to be treated?Just a promoter being curious. I can tell you how I (ND Promotions) like to be treated when it comes ...
Posted by on Wed, 01 Aug 2007 02:27:00 GMT

A response from James Randi

My recent letter writing hobby (which has been well-documented in my LiveJournal) involves me posing a question (often humorous and/or skeptical in nature), and has consumed quite a bit of my free tim...
Posted by on Wed, 02 May 2007 16:42:00 GMT

God bless us, everyone!

Hello,Those who have spent any time with me in the last few months (and are at least moderately tolerating of my ramblings) are already aware that lately I have become fairly disillusioned with the co...
Posted by on Thu, 19 Apr 2007 03:30:00 GMT

Bad Movie Night Master List

For the last few years, many of us have participated in a weekly Bad Movie Night where we scour the video store to find a terrible movie, subject ourselves to it, and riff our way through it a la Myst...
Posted by on Wed, 28 Mar 2007 22:13:00 GMT

My 2008 Presidential Endorsement

Hello friends,It might be a tad early, but I'm ready to announce my endorsement for a candidate in the 2008 United States Presidential Election. I've even made a banner for you to post on all of...
Posted by on Fri, 09 Mar 2007 04:39:00 GMT

Psychics, Phone Books and Bob Barker.

Before viewing the awesome video link at the bottom of this blog you should read a bit of backstory:So, there's this kid named James Hydrick who claimed to have the supernatural, telekinetic ability t...
Posted by on Fri, 16 Feb 2007 03:50:00 GMT

Never pay for a traffic ticket again!

If there's one thing I know a fair amount about, it's traffic tickets. As I mention in the "About Me" section of my profile, I've definitely had my fair share and tried many... uh... "creative" ...
Posted by on Tue, 13 Feb 2007 16:19:00 GMT

Attention Ladies... (Part Three)

After the success of my last two blogs, and once again by request, here is yet another "Rivals Hot or Not Quiz" for the ladies. So, we've done industrial pioneers of electricity. We've don...
Posted by on Sat, 27 Jan 2007 06:30:00 GMT