Thieves' Cant profile picture

Thieves' Cant

Gucci Apples -- keeping doctors away with style AND function.

About Me

Gift House/ Horse's House/ Plastic Shoehorn

My Interests

do stupid and dangerous stuff and then write about it

I'd like to meet:

A lobster named Darryl. Get outta my life otherwise.

Music:

They Might Be Giants and Can

Movies:

Repo Man, The Wizard of Speed and Time, The Big Lebowski, Punch Drunk Love, Shaun of the Dead, The Blues Brothers, Evil Dead 2, Barton Fink, Star Trek VI, Yellow Submarine, Popeye VS. Sinbad

Television:

Venture Brothers, Californication, Dirty Jobs, Mythbusters, anything about the supernatural.

Books:

Someone buy me a copy of Tales of Ordinary Madness.

Heroes:

Various writers and all children.

My Blog

I sinned and paid.

Dear Prof.,I'm not sitting in your office right now, and I won't be, and I didn't. And I'll go ahead and issue an apology for rudely disavowing your trust in the singular arrangement that I would be t...
Posted by Thieves' Cant on Wed, 15 Oct 2008 10:25:00 PST

stuff i like i wish other people did too:

wonderful tonight by eric claptonbirdie brain by the fiery furnacesjackass by beckunder the western freeway by grandaddytexas never whispers by pavementrespect, the smell of shoe polish, innocence, la...
Posted by Thieves' Cant on Sun, 21 Sep 2008 10:40:00 PST

Of Memory

If you drink a sip from a Coke and then immediately drag off of a freshly lit cigarette afterward, you can taste the air, and thus the feel and atmosphere, of a hospital lobby. The faculties of taste ...
Posted by Thieves' Cant on Thu, 28 Aug 2008 01:02:00 PST

Penelope Takes

Penelope takes from everyone. All too often. Nothing from herself. She dreamt of me, I think. Last night when she was sleeping in a hazy state of drunkenness. She had vomited on my side of the bed. I ...
Posted by Thieves' Cant on Fri, 15 Aug 2008 05:34:00 PST

The Quilt of Continuity

I remember those summer evenings vividly, those innocent dusks when the orange sun crept across the living room, through the eloquent rafters around the kitchen from the open skylight 15 feet above th...
Posted by Thieves' Cant on Thu, 10 Jul 2008 12:49:00 PST

Clarion Call: A Verbal Serenghetti

Well slap me silly and shit on my chest. Looks like we've got a wave of artsy change washing the earwax out of this burned out burgh. No holds bar all around upbeat tangerine-themed brick by brick aff...
Posted by Thieves' Cant on Thu, 03 Jul 2008 02:45:00 PST

End of the World

Of the goof off On and off the clock Off the topI really Don't want to be aliveAnymore.
Posted by Thieves' Cant on Sat, 17 May 2008 08:06:00 PST

Peace is the Watchword

Dear Wifey,I know I promised to put these little love notes down by hand but the computer's a little easier to handle in my condition (as I write this it's about five in the AM and I've had a drink or...
Posted by Thieves' Cant on Sun, 27 Apr 2008 03:10:00 PST

The New National Anthem

YESTERDAY I felt like I needed to get out of here. I made some calls. I got out I guess, but I didn't get far before coming right back home. While I was at my brother's house, where my mother-thing li...
Posted by Thieves' Cant on Tue, 15 Apr 2008 12:47:00 PST

What he meant to say.

The Failure stood up in front of everybody that mattered. Looked at one in particular.And he said:"FUCK YOU, YOU MOTHERFUCKING WASTE OF TIME! YOU SICK HEARTLESS, SOULESS CUNT!"Meant every goddamn word...
Posted by Thieves' Cant on Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:19:00 PST